The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action


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AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: Notice Great Things!

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Believe it, Phoenix! Great things DO happen to you everyday – big and small. You can recognize them by choosing to live in the moment.

Practice mindfulness. Take a few deep breaths and just be present.

In the words of Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Practice sharing the fullness of your being, your best self, your enthusiasm, your vitality, your spirit, your trust, your openness, above all, your presence. Share it with yourself, with your family, with the world.”  (Book: Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life)

Tip: As a way to express gratitude for and assist you in the practice of recognizing those great things (big and small) that happen in your day, journal about them or share the experiences with someone who will appreciate and support what you’re doing, the new, positive habit you’re creating. Notice how these simple, yet very impactful, exercises shift your perspective and overall mood.

Mindfulness is integral to your commitment to be self-love in action. Practice!

 


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The Phoenix Book of the Week: Retrain Your Anxious Brain by John Tsilimparis

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Our Phoenix Book of the Week comes from Simone:

Retrain Your Anxious Brain by John Tsilimparis

51E8gNgeB5L._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_In addition to meeting with my therapist bi-weekly, I love reading John Tsilimparis’ Retrain Your Anxious Brain to help conquer the anxiety. I was catching up on my HeyFranHey when I came across her post recommending it. The book offers practical and effective tools to create a path toward more positive thinking as well as changing responses to anxiety triggers. What I really enjoy about his book is the way in which it encourages readers to dig deep into and take charge of their lives. It has helped me understand and make a distinction between stress and anxiety. Additionally, it helps me identify or break down negative thinking patterns, and assists in turning negative thoughts into life-affirming and spirit-affirming thoughts.

Retrain Your Anxious Brain is a powerful spiritual guide because it inspires personal growth in all aspects of my life. It reminds me that I have the power to control my reality and reduce anxiety. It teaches me that I don’t have to battle anxiety; that instead, I need to let go of having control. It is surrendering, not fighting, that must take place.

What I am most excited about getting to (I haven’t finished the book just yet and will likely reread it) are the sections on building responsibility and creating a daily accountability plan! The plan focuses on creating a morning ritual or adding to the one you already have. The plan helps you avoid triggers like boredom, and helps you fill your day with activities or chores such as making your bed each morning or meeting a friend for tea.

Retrain Your Anxious Brain helps me work from spirit rather than ego and guides me in manifesting spiritual alignment. I have noticed that I judge myself less and am more interested in thanking the Creator for my journey and the process. It reminds me that I am spirit, and I am powerful. I have been able to create more balance, and a more positive personal belief system/outlook on life and reality.

I recommend Retrain Your Anxious Brain to anyone who is looking to create a life of gratitude, love, and balance.

 

Hey, Phoenix! Have you read this book? If so, tell us, in the comment section below, how it has created more balance in your life and supported your personal growth.

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About The Phoenix Book of the Week:

The Phoenix Book of the Week features book recommendations from The Phoenix Rising Collective, as well as the empowered women who support us. We’ll be sharing our thoughts on books that have been powerful resources for sustaining healthy self-esteem, creating emotional and spiritual wellness, and committing to intentional living. We’ll also share our personal stories about how and why the books have inspired personal growth and sparked “light bulb moments” that changed our lives in some way. The book picks may cover a wide range of topics from diverse genres.

Interested in sharing a book with us? Please click here to send your request for more details on submitting a book entry.

Read more of our book picks here.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday: This Phoenix is DeDe

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Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action.  The questions are meant to  “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority.

This week’s courageous Phoenix is DeDe:

How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

Loving myself first means – putting myself first and being okay with it.  I have always valued my self-worth and put effort into keeping my mind fed with spiritual and positive affirmations and pampering myself at home/spa, etc.  I always knew God made me unique, and I’ve embraced my blessings.  The blessings I was foolish not to embrace in my younger years, I’ve learned to smother with a huge Bear-Hug today!  I love me, and that is why I’m always striving to have a center of peace, happiness, and love overflowing from my being.

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DeDe, LYFF Phoenix Feature, “I’m learning to live for what makes ME happy.”

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc)

Unplugging from the “in thing” to do helps me center my mind and spirit.

Give me a great novel, tea, and quiet time to myself – just me, my thoughts, and positive affirmations or soft music – and I come out of this peaceful place freshly revived! Reading also allows me to get lost in an adventure while blocking out life’s distractions (work, social media, errands, etc.).

Exercise rejuvenates me, too, in so many ways; and it’s one of my biggest stress relievers. Dancing is self-expression and makes me feel free.

Spending time with positive women also makes me feel alive!

Having a church home helps me start the week in touch with my faith and provides spiritual rejuvenation.  It’s also my check-and-balance for the life I want to live, along with daily morning and evening prayer to center and nourish my mind, body, and soul.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?  

An obstacle I overcame was learning to say no to things or people that do not enhance my life.  I’m learning to live for what makes ME happy.  I learned by going through a divorce how to make better choices for the right reasons.  It was a difficult decision, but because of the experience it strengthened my friendship with my ex-husband and gave me deeper understanding to ask the following questions: (1) What would I do if fear wasn’t a factor? (2)What is the lesson in this experience?

What have you learned from self-love? 

In the words of the late, but great Whitney Houston  I’ve learned “…Learning to love yourself is the GREATEST love of all.”

 

Thank you for sharing your LYFF story with us, DeDe. You are definitely a Phoenix Rising!

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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a bi-weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.

 


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Daily Inspirational Reminders from My Sons

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I laugh out loud at even pondering this subject. BUT, If I dug deep enough and really tried to muster up a precise calculation of how many times I hear the word “Mom” in a given day, I’d argue that it’s minimally between 30-40 times – and this is during a school day. Please note: my children are at school for at least seven hours out of the day. On the weekends its usage must peak somewhere in the hundreds (sometimes it feels like thousands).

That said, there normally isn’t a monotone inflection in the young voices that have acutely etched the word “Mom” into their consciousness. The sound ranges from a high pitched yell, “MOOOOOMMMM!”, when I am being beckoned to solve a math problem, bandage a profusely bleeding bruise, extinguish a small kitchen fire, OR most importantly, when the iPad chargers can’t be found in the collective messes called bedrooms. Then, there’s the alto scale. This is typically used when pleas of hunger are being expressed (a half-hour after said culprits have eaten a four course meal with dessert), snuggling, kissing on the cheek, a wrestle-tickle-pin-down ensues, or some other form of physical affection is warranted, and lastly, when my 12 year-old is “putting me up on” the dopest Eminem lyrics from the song Rap God circa 2013 (he was 10 years old and completely absorbed in superheroes when the Marshall Mathers LP 2 was released).

KaNeesha_Sons[Nasr_Mikah]DailyInspirationalReminder[phoenixrisingcollective]There’s also my personal favorite! The deep Barry White meets Darth Vader baritone breadths of “MUUUUMMMM” that are echoed in great annoyance most Saturday mornings when I’m fussing about chores going undone, pulling the cantankerous five year-old away from Clifford the Big Red Dog re-runs to eat something more nourishing than Honey Nut Cheerios, or when I decide to jokingly reverse the parent-child dynamic. I become self-absorbed, nonchalant, and quasi-aloof during my interactions with the usual suspects for the sole purpose of giving them a taste of their own medicine. As you could imagine, this role reversal doesn’t last too long. My children become completely fed up and disinterested when my world doesn’t revolve around them.

Throughout the challenging moments, the days I wish I had more patience, the tears from extreme feelings of being overwhelmed, the WTF thoughts of “WHY GOD didn’t he turn in his homework?!”, and the somehow-reaching-profound epiphanies from dialogues in which the main subject is who said “booty, doo-doo, and you farted, EEWWW!” –  I wouldn’t trade in the experience of mothering for anything in the world. Ausar; 12 years old and Mikah; five years old are exceptional human beings in every way imaginable. I give thanks that they chose me to act as one of many facilitators in the global village that nurtures, provides, and empowers them to live according to their hearts’ desires. These two guys are creativity, raw energy, and stand-up comedy; they are Neil DeGrasse Tyson meets Steve Jobs intelligent. They are personified beacons of hope in a chaotic world.

It is clear that their charge, along with many youth in this generation, is to re-create a new realm that wholeheartedly welcomes expansion of ideas, redefined identities, assorted spaces and places of existence, and mutually beneficial social exchanges unlike anything humankind has ever experienced. Many days Ausar comes home raving about the latest technological advance in gaming or smartphones in a language that I have minimal knowledge; thus, he has started learning computer coding with his first project being developing an app for Apple iProducts.

As for my little rambunctious one, Mikah, I’m completely amazed at the usage of his extensive vocabulary while explaining to the lady standing behind us in line at Barnes & Nobles the difference between toy trains made from wood and die-cast metal. As much as I attempt to teach them, it’s returned in abundance ten-fold.

Here are Five Inspirational Reminders from My Sons:

  1. Express Daily Gratitude– Joyfully expressing gratitude for all things and all beings in God’s creation. Mikah loves to sit in the dirt and dig (and would until he reached China – if possible). Through this he finds great solace and demonstrates his appreciation for the beauty that is Mother Earth.
  1. Unconditional Love– Loving someone when it’s most difficult to do so. You’d be surprised, but your kids love you in spite of your fussing, limiting their screen time, or burning the brownies for the school bake sale. Perfectly imperfect I am, and my boys love me still. They even tell me sometimes!
  1. Forgiveness– Fully letting go of the past (even if it was yesterday) and accepting the present. Kids get over things quickly. They don’t hold grudges, and they accept you just as you are each day. Extend this same grace to someone you know.
  1. Mindfully Living in the Moment– I observe my children when they are focused on something. Learning a new game, playing with friends, drawing, or riding a bike. They are completely absorbed in that one task with full enjoyment. The concept of multitasking has no meaning in their scopes of comprehension. Yesterday is the past, tomorrow isn’t promised, all we have is the NOW. Be present.
  1. Playtime– Stop taking yourself so serious and have fun! Remember what life was like when you were seven, 12, or 16 years old? Stomping rain puddles in freshly ironed clothes, rapping freestyle lyrics to the Ne Ne song after a long day, or posing for a family collage of selfies are cool ventures that have landed me a membership into the “Cool Mom” club. It’s good to let your kids see that you know how to have a good time. Too, it balances out the other times when you have to lay the smack-down. “DO YOU HEAR, what the MOOOOMMMM IS COOKING?!”

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About the Contributing Writer:

d81392516be0b26c1094730815028b17W. KaNeesha Allen is an educator with extensive project management, student support services, and community outreach experience in K-12 and higher education institutions.  She is also the mother of two extremely rambunctious and fun loving boys – Ausar and Mikah. While often seeking to master the balance between being a highly engaged mother and taking time to BE with herself in the divine energy of the universe, KaNeesha finds peace, solace, and regeneration through meditation, Vinyasa yoga, and her “Sistah Circle”. As the Motherhood Empowerment contributor, she welcomes mothers from everywhere to join her on a journey of self-discovery and evolution towards harnessing, embodying, and emoting the Goddess power within. Read her latest posts.

 


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AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: I am grateful for my talents and abilities.

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Remember, you’ve been given everything you need! Recognize it. Tap into it. Express gratitude for it! Be self-love in action.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday: Today’s Phoenix is Aisha

Aisha_LYFF_Feature[The Phoenix Rising Collective]

Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action.  The questions are meant to  “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority.

This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Aisha:

How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

Learning to love myself has evolved into a continuous process of practicing self-preservation. Self-preservation for me has come to mean holding myself accountable and really putting myself, and my needs, first.

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practices, etc)

The actions that demonstrate the self-care I provide to my mind, body, and soul include checking in with myself on a regular basis, doing mindfulness meditation exercises, and seeking out therapy regularly.

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Aisha, Phoenix LYFF Feature – “I am the happiest I’ve been in a really long time.”

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

My journey toward loving myself first has been met with several challenges. First, I am a nurturer. I’ve had to learn that I cannot put other people’s needs before mine all of the time. This has been very difficult because in the past when people would call on me for help I very rarely said no. I often found myself showing up for other people – but not being left with enough energy to show up for myself. Once I realized I began working closely with a mentor who taught me the beauty of saying no. Learning to say no became not only something that sounds nice when I write for The Phoenix Rising Collective, but it became an act of self-preservation.

My second largest challenge came when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I went through a long period of time where I was struggling with not sleeping and began to feel very anxious about doing everyday tasks. Things that used to be easy or enjoyable for me like driving, going out, or planning my outfit for the day became anxiety ridden, unnerving, and sometimes terrifying. I sought out help from a counselor and was shortly after diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To be honest, the diagnosis itself seemed scary when I first heard it. I wanted to reject it because I was afraid of what other people would think about me: would other people think that I was broken or somehow incapable of doing all of the things I enjoyed doing (at school, work, in the community)? But after I sat with the diagnosis for a while I realized that it didn’t change me, that it didn’t make me a different or less capable person. I realized that I needed to face this obstacle as just that – something to overcome. With the help of my therapist I started medication and have been doing extraordinarily well. I have been the happiest I have felt in a long time. Dealing with this has left my mind free to focus on doing things that make me happy. I am happy.

What have you learned from self-love?

From self-love I have learned that I am more than what I think that I am. I have learned that I am capable of doing things that I have only dreamed of. I have learned that I am able to look at challenges and see around them.

Above all else, I think that self-love has taught me that I can put myself first without feeling guilty about it. I have learned that I am worthy of saving, that I can save myself, and saving myself feels damn good. I am often reminded of a quote from Alice Sebold’s memoir Lucky, “No one can pull anyone back from anywhere. You save yourself or you remain unsaved.” I’ve never been more sure that this quote is true than right now in my life.

Aisha’s LYFF Collage:

We asked Aisha to also submit and explain photos demonstrating self-love in action or even photos that radiate the feeling of loving who she is. We created a collage (shown above) of the inspiring images she wanted to share. Below she expresses why these photos are so special to her:

The pictures of me smiling make me think about how I am the happiest I’ve been in a really long time! The plane ticket made me think of how traveling previously caused me a lot of anxiety; for example, I went places but I felt really heavy when I did. This summer I was able to travel so much. I felt so free. The last time I had gone to the beach I didn’t enjoy myself because I was so anxious, but the picture of the beach reminds that I felt free. It was beautiful.

 

Thank you for sharing your self-love story, Aisha. You are definitely a Phoenix rising!

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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: I believe in what I want for my life.

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Nurture the vision you have for your life by believing that it will manifest. Whatever it is: starting a business, writing a book, finding a spiritual partner/soul mate, having a family, buying a home, taking a trip by yourself, finishing a college course, etc. You name it. If you’re affirming through your thoughts and actions that it’s what you really want, then trust that things are positively moving in that direction. Believe that the universe is working for your greatest good. Stop worrying about how it will happen; in fact, let go of ‘how’ and trust that what you need (when you need it) will be provided at the right time. Stay open to and flexible in your experiences and ever mindful of signs that your vision is manifesting itself. View your setbacks and challenges along the way (whether major or minor) as course correction, lessons to be learned in preparation for the vision’s fruition. Stop asking when it will happen, and KNOW that it is happening.

REPEAT: It is happening!

Believe.

Be self-love in action.