![Create Your Experiences[affirmation]the phoenix rising collective](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/create-your-experiencesaffirmationthe-phoenix-rising-collective.png)
You create the experiences you want for your life. Intentional living begins with the daily practice of making healthy, courageous, and authentic choices that honor and empower you. What do you really want? Don’t wait for whatever it is to just fall in your lap or for someone else to supply the inspiration. Create it. Be self-love in action!
![affirmation_grateful_talents[the phoenix rising collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/affirmation_grateful_talentsthe-phoenix-rising-collective.png)
Remember, you’ve been given everything you need! Recognize it. Tap into it. Express gratitude for it! Be self-love in action.
![Aisha_LYFF_Feature[The Phoenix Rising Collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/aisha_lyff_featurethe-phoenix-rising-collective1.png)
Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action. The questions are meant to “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority.
This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Aisha:
Learning to love myself has evolved into a continuous process of practicing self-preservation. Self-preservation for me has come to mean holding myself accountable and really putting myself, and my needs, first.
The actions that demonstrate the self-care I provide to my mind, body, and soul include checking in with myself on a regular basis, doing mindfulness meditation exercises, and seeking out therapy regularly.
Aisha, Phoenix LYFF Feature – “I am the happiest I’ve been in a really long time.”
My journey toward loving myself first has been met with several challenges. First, I am a nurturer. I’ve had to learn that I cannot put other people’s needs before mine all of the time. This has been very difficult because in the past when people would call on me for help I very rarely said no. I often found myself showing up for other people – but not being left with enough energy to show up for myself. Once I realized I began working closely with a mentor who taught me the beauty of saying no. Learning to say no became not only something that sounds nice when I write for The Phoenix Rising Collective, but it became an act of self-preservation.
My second largest challenge came when I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I went through a long period of time where I was struggling with not sleeping and began to feel very anxious about doing everyday tasks. Things that used to be easy or enjoyable for me like driving, going out, or planning my outfit for the day became anxiety ridden, unnerving, and sometimes terrifying. I sought out help from a counselor and was shortly after diagnosed with bipolar disorder. To be honest, the diagnosis itself seemed scary when I first heard it. I wanted to reject it because I was afraid of what other people would think about me: would other people think that I was broken or somehow incapable of doing all of the things I enjoyed doing (at school, work, in the community)? But after I sat with the diagnosis for a while I realized that it didn’t change me, that it didn’t make me a different or less capable person. I realized that I needed to face this obstacle as just that – something to overcome. With the help of my therapist I started medication and have been doing extraordinarily well. I have been the happiest I have felt in a long time. Dealing with this has left my mind free to focus on doing things that make me happy. I am happy.
From self-love I have learned that I am more than what I think that I am. I have learned that I am capable of doing things that I have only dreamed of. I have learned that I am able to look at challenges and see around them.
Above all else, I think that self-love has taught me that I can put myself first without feeling guilty about it. I have learned that I am worthy of saving, that I can save myself, and saving myself feels damn good. I am often reminded of a quote from Alice Sebold’s memoir Lucky, “No one can pull anyone back from anywhere. You save yourself or you remain unsaved.” I’ve never been more sure that this quote is true than right now in my life.
We asked Aisha to also submit and explain photos demonstrating self-love in action or even photos that radiate the feeling of loving who she is. We created a collage (shown above) of the inspiring images she wanted to share. Below she expresses why these photos are so special to her:
The pictures of me smiling make me think about how I am the happiest I’ve been in a really long time! The plane ticket made me think of how traveling previously caused me a lot of anxiety; for example, I went places but I felt really heavy when I did. This summer I was able to travel so much. I felt so free. The last time I had gone to the beach I didn’t enjoy myself because I was so anxious, but the picture of the beach reminds that I felt free. It was beautiful.
Thank you for sharing your self-love story, Aisha. You are definitely a Phoenix rising!
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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
Create the day you want, Phoenix! You are enough. Recite. Repeat. Believe.
Be self-love in action.
![Patrice_LYFF[The Phoenix Rising Collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/patrice_lyffthe-phoenix-rising-collective.png)
Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action. The questions are meant to “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority. This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Patrice:
I try to release the past – letting go of past events. I’ve stopped trying to be perfect, as I am my biggest critic sometimes. Not everything will be perfect, so I just have to let things be the way they are. Not trying to reach perfection doesn’t mean that I’m a failure; it means that I am human. I’m taking things one day at a time so that I’m not rushing my life. That also means, “Let go and let God!”
I love listening to music, whatever my mood – everything from jazz to hip-hop! I also love to take walks in the park so that I’m around nature. It’s beautiful!
Yes – when one of my closest friends was battling cancer, Hodgkin’s lymphoma. It went into remission for a full year, and then it aggressively returned. She died and was only 26 years old. This really was an eye-opener for me. It made me look within. I stopped focusing on petty things in life and started living life to the fullest. I enjoy it! I started to observe that everyone is living in such a rush. Her death was a realization that learning to unwind and take it all in is important. Learning how to breathe is vital to living a balanced life.
I have learned to embrace all of me, my imperfections and faults, too.
We asked Patrice to also submit photos demonstrating self-love in action or even photos that radiate the feeling of loving who she is. We created a collage (shown above) of the awesome images she chose to share. Patrice selected these images because to her they represent the importance of having a good time with family.
Thank you for sharing your self-love story, Patrice. You are definitely a Phoenix rising!
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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
Be very intentional about the company you keep! Be self-love in action.
![Tanya_LYFF_Feature[Collage]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/tanya_lyff_featurecollage.png)
Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action. The questions are meant to “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority. This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Tanya:
Quite frankly, I have had to learn this lesson over and over again during my youth. When I reached my forties it resonated pretty quickly that self-love is the number one way to navigate the nuances of life. I think of it this way – if I don’t put myself first, then who will? People think this perspective is selfish, but I distinctly recall an episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass with guest – Rick Warren (Author of The Purpose Driven Life). Warren unapologetically said, “One must live for an audience of one.”
Women are taught early to people-please, and I was no exception. I was living an invisible life that I did not have to live. I learned that I was giving myself away – whether in small pieces or big chunks; I never realized there was always a reason behind my actions. So, I have created my own Bill of Rights for how I take on love, life, and relationships that include the element of self-care. One of those commitments is honoring self. I am valuable and should not allow myself to be diminished. What does that mean for me? In every encounter I will acknowledge my emotions.
Another defining moment was becoming a mother. It changed me completely. I am the single mother of a 17-year old daughter. Unbeknownst to my child, she has helped me on my self-love journey. She gave me enough strength to leave bad relationships behind and be a role model. There have been many times that I have left a relationship because it did not honor me as a woman. Life is too short to not be with others who are liked-minded and display acts of love.
Tanya – LYFF Phoenix Feature
I read a lot of books on spiritual development. I also go to church, as often as my schedule permits, but when I am not able to attend I listen to the word wherever I am. To remain focused and for a renewed sense of confidence to make it through life’s challenges, I read books by many spiritual leaders. Being a single mother, I also teach my daughter about God and how she can cast her cares on him.
I am also an advocate for well-rounded health. In an effort to bless my temple, I eat healthy, and in February I became a vegetarian. While I might not keep up this practice, I don’t eat red meat or pork and have not done so for over 17 years. Every day I make proper food choices and incorporate drinking plenty of water for optimum health.
I work out at least three to four days a week. Even when I have a busy day and am tired I still try to work out. It is during these times that I must do a little self-talk to stay encouraged. I love the benefits of working out; I’m able to maintain my weight for my age and height.
This discipline helps me stay well balanced in all areas. I believe I started working out more at 40 because I noticed that my metabolism shifted, and I also observed that for women, maintaining good health is so crucial. Working out should be a lifestyle for any woman, at any age.
Yes, (1) The loss of a loved one can create a space (sometimes so empty) that I have to truly examine life; it is but a flicker in the wind. Losing a loved one makes me cherish how special a person really is.
And, (2) Before I can truly love another person, I must learn to love me. It sounds cliché but at times I have purposely refrained from relationships to get back to the basics of creating a loving space for me. Honestly, I am actually in that space right now. As women, we are givers. I want everything and everyone around me to be happy but for some unforeseen reason this expectation does not include me.
Lastly (3) My advice is to never be fraudulent. Every conversation is a relationship, so when my vessel is full, I take time to listen to music, recharge and get back to the middle. I have also learned how to be a sound gatekeeper of self.
Self-love is the greatest gift that I can give to me. I must always stand up on the inside – displaying love for myself in countless circumstances. I must stand up on the inside before I can stand up on the outside by doing the work to be more loving and kind to me. I am not always good in this area, but when I find that I am not, I try to create a little self-space to get my focus back in order.
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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
![Latisha_LYFF_The Phoenix Rising Collective2[2014]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/latisha_lyff_the-phoenix-rising-collective22014.png)
Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action. The questions are meant to “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority. This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Latisha:
I think the most important element to loving yourself first is having a deep understanding of who you are and the things that are most important to you, things that bring you happiness. It takes time to unravel the real nature of yourself , since we learn and grow through trials and errors. For me, I am great friends with myself. I love me. I feel that I’m beautiful. My beauty is enhanced by the love I have for life and helping others feel the same way. I appreciate my uniqueness and know that no one else is like me. I want to be the best I can be and improve each day. I understand that I have greatness within and believe God made everyone special. I embrace my love for life and am constantly working on the barriers that lie within; and as I do, it brings me closer to peace and love, and also understanding who I am. I know we can’t fully love anyone until we love ourselves.
My spiritual well being is very important to me. I love God, and I believe that with Him first in my life, all things are possible. I include God in every decision and thought I make. I keep prayer in everything I do. Spiritually, I am connected with God and that keeps me at peace – even during tough times.
I love to read and have quiet time. For example, I love reading biographies. True stories give me different perspectives on life and a larger lens to appreciate everyone’s struggle.
Exercise has always been a priority, too. I am up at 5am, in the comfort of my home, exercising every day. It empowers me, and it keeps my mind and soul clear of clutter. Exercise also gives me energy, keeps me healthy, and makes me appreciate the temple God has given us. Clean and leaner eating is a must in my life. I indulge in a few carbs every now and then for a treat, but I eat lots of vegetables, fruit, and protein to sustain my youthful and healthy lifestyle. I’ve lost 20 pounds over the last year, and I feel great!
Lastly, I also love spending time with my family. We love to travel. I am a beach bum and love being near the ocean. I think it’s the closest thing to heaven we will see while on earth.
![Latisha_LYFF[the phoenix rising collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/latisha_lyffthe-phoenix-rising-collective.jpg)
Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?Yes, I am hearing impaired. I was born in the 1960s with a progressive hearing loss that damaged my nerve cells. My mom died when I was six weeks old, leaving my dad and grandmother to raise me, and they also had hearing impairments. My impairment went undiagnosed until I was 19 years old. I remember that as a young child I took speech classes and constantly took hearing tests. I was told to sit in front of the classroom, but I was never told that I needed a hearing aid or had hearing loss. I always thought I heard well. The blessing is that when I was born I heard the beginning of language, and that formed my communication.
I remember never being able to hear the words in a song or what was said on a TV show. I also recall that in 5th grade my grades began to plummet, and that carried on until I graduated from high school. I did graduate, but I missed out on so much in school. However, I always had this tireless drive to succeed. I stayed in talent shows or on stage performing; again, never realizing that I wasn’t hearing so much, yet still beating the odds.
After moving from Ohio (where I’m from) and living with my older sister in New Jersey. She immediately recognized that I couldn’t hear well. She had me tested. During that one visit, the specialist explained to me how my life was from newborn to 19 years old. I was flabbergasted. My heart sunk to the bottom of my feet. I cried and grieved. At that point, I understood that I’d never really heard words, but had mastered reading lips. I was proud that I did that, but my goals and desires for my life went in another direction. I began the selective process of what I could or couldn’t do because of my hearing impairment. I had to learn to accept and embrace my disability. As time went on, I read more about my hearing loss and decided I wouldn’t allow it to stop me from the plans God has for me. After bypassing the insecurities about my hearing loss, I proudly wore my hearing aids and began the self-empowerment journey.
I always had a desire to continue my education. I completed 33 credits in the classroom with help from some great and phenomenal friends. They would take the same courses with me to write my notes. I am indebted to them for life. I had a few best friends who always made my phone calls for me and did anything to move the barrier that stopped me from effectively communicating. I stopped going to school after my buddies couldn’t go any longer. After a few years, I had the most beautiful son. I knew then I had to do more and better. I took the chance and registered with the University of Maryland’s Online Distance Education. Although online education had been around for a while, I was still skeptical and took a census for opinions about its effectiveness versus the classroom. There were some naysayers, but plenty of my friends and family supported me and said DO IT! I did. It was the greatest challenge that I appreciate to the fullest.
I started in 2003 and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Business with a minor in International Law in August 2008. That was the liberating point where I knew I could keep going. At the time, my job was restructuring and we had to attend a paralegal program and pass to keep our employment. I passed with flying colors. I received my paralegal certificate with honors in 2009. Oh no, I didn’t stop there! In 2010, I registered with Seton Hall University to receive my master’s degree in Strategic Communications. And guess what? To its entirety the classes were mainly in the classroom. I contacted Seton Hall’s Disability Support Services and was able to receive remote closed caption for each class. Wow, was I so excited! The professors and my classmates were very helpful during the whole process. I’m so thankful. Today, after 24 years I’m still working at Seton Hall University.
I am also a travel agent for Paycation. This is allowing me to build my network and reach higher goals. In addition, I would also like to teach. I trust God knows my desires of the heart since “He plans to give us hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
I’m so thankful for my family and friends that have supported and helped me overcome many obstacles.
Self-love is about treating myself with special care and loving who I am. It’s not selfish. It’s what God intends for us to do. I can only love others completely when I love me first. I can care for others when I care for me. I do things that make me happy and keep me at peace, as self-acceptance is loving me. With that I am able to do things more freely and without concern about how others perceive me. No matter what I experience as good or bad, with self-love I will be provided a good, healthy balance of emotional well being. With self-love I accept others, and I accept kindness without expectation of anything else. Self-love means to care and accept myself with everything I got!
Thank you, Latisha! You are definitely a Phoenix rising! Happy Friday.
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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
![affirmation_aging_gracefully[the phoenix rising collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/affirmation_aging_gracefullythe-phoenix-rising-collective.png)
Be self-love in action!
![dance as healing[the phoenix rising collective]](https://phoenixrisingcollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/dance-as-healingthe-phoenix-rising-collective.png)
[Photo Credit: Derek Bridges; Jazz & Heritage Kumbuka African Dance & Drum Collective]
Be self-love in action.
The Phoenix Rising Collective 