The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action

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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday: Today’s Phoenix is Tanya

Tanya_LYFF_Feature[Collage]

Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action.  The questions are meant to  “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority. This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Tanya:

How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

Quite frankly, I have had to learn this lesson over and over again during my youth. When I reached my forties it resonated pretty quickly that self-love is the number one way to navigate the nuances of life. I think of it this way – if I don’t put myself first, then who will? People think this perspective is selfish, but I distinctly recall an episode of Oprah’s Lifeclass with guest – Rick Warren (Author of The Purpose Driven Life). Warren unapologetically said, “One must live for an audience of one.”

Women are taught early to people-please, and I was no exception. I was living an invisible life that I did not have to live. I learned that I was giving myself away – whether in small pieces or big chunks; I never realized there was always a reason behind my actions. So, I have created my own Bill of Rights for how I take on love, life, and relationships that include the element of self-care. One of those commitments is honoring self. I am valuable and should not allow myself to be diminished. What does that mean for me? In every encounter I will acknowledge my emotions.

Another defining moment was becoming a mother. It changed me completely. I am the single mother of a 17-year old daughter. Unbeknownst to my child, she has helped me on my self-love journey. She gave me enough strength to leave bad relationships behind and be a role model. There have been many times that I have left a relationship because it did not honor me as a woman. Life is too short to not be with others who are liked-minded and display acts of love.

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Tanya – LYFF Phoenix Feature

What actions demonstrate the self care you provide to your mind, body, and soul?

I read a lot of books on spiritual development. I also go to church, as often as my schedule permits, but when I am not able to attend I listen to the word wherever I am.  To remain focused and for a renewed sense of confidence to make it through life’s challenges, I read books by many spiritual leaders. Being a single mother, I also teach my daughter about God and how she can cast her cares on him.

I am also an advocate for well-rounded health. In an effort to bless my temple, I eat healthy, and in February I became a vegetarian. While I might not keep up this practice, I don’t eat red meat or pork and have not done so for over 17 years. Every day I make proper food choices and incorporate drinking plenty of water for optimum health.

I work out at least three to four days a week. Even when I have a busy day and am tired I still try to work out. It is during these times that I must do a little self-talk to stay encouraged. I love the benefits of working out; I’m able to maintain my weight for my age and height.

This discipline helps me stay well balanced in all areas. I believe I started working out more at 40 because I noticed that my metabolism shifted, and I also observed that for women, maintaining good health is so crucial. Working out should be a lifestyle for any woman, at any age.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

Yes, (1) The loss of a loved one can create a space (sometimes so empty) that I have to truly examine life; it is but a flicker in the wind. Losing a loved one makes me cherish how special a person really is.

And, (2) Before I can truly love another person, I must learn to love me. It sounds cliché but at times I have purposely refrained from relationships to get back to the basics of creating a loving space for me. Honestly, I am actually in that space right now. As women, we are givers. I want everything and everyone around me to be happy but for some unforeseen reason this expectation does not include me.

Lastly (3) My advice is to never be fraudulent. Every conversation is a relationship, so when my vessel is full, I take time to listen to music, recharge and get back to the middle. I have also learned how to be a sound gatekeeper of self.

What have you learned from self-love?

Self-love is the greatest gift that I can give to me. I must always stand up on the inside – displaying love for myself in countless circumstances. I must stand up on the inside before I can stand up on the outside by doing the work to be more loving and kind to me. I am not always good in this area, but when I find that I am not, I try to create a little self-space to get my focus back in order.

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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell stories of triumph, share personal affirmations, and declare love for their lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday: Today’s Phoenix is Latisha

Latisha_LYFF_The Phoenix Rising Collective2[2014]

Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action.  The questions are meant to  “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority. This week’s motivated and courageous Phoenix is Latisha:

How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

I think the most important element to loving yourself first is having a deep understanding of who you are and the things that are most important to you, things that bring you happiness.  It takes time to unravel the real nature of yourself , since we learn and grow through trials and errors. For me, I am great friends with myself.  I love me.  I feel that I’m beautiful.  My beauty is enhanced by the love I have for life and helping others feel the same way.  I appreciate my uniqueness and know that no one else is like me.  I want to be the best I can be and improve each day.  I understand that I have greatness within and believe God made everyone special.  I embrace my love for life and am constantly working on the barriers that lie within; and as I do, it brings me closer to peace and love, and also understanding who I am. I know we can’t fully love anyone until we love ourselves.

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc)

My spiritual well being is very important to me.  I love God, and I believe that with Him first in my life, all things are possible.  I include God in every decision and thought I make.  I keep prayer in everything I do.  Spiritually, I am connected with God and that keeps me at peace – even during tough times.

I love to read and have quiet time.  For example, I love reading biographies. True stories give me different perspectives on life and a larger lens to appreciate everyone’s struggle.

Exercise has always been a priority, too. I am up at 5am, in the comfort of my home, exercising every day.  It empowers me, and it keeps my mind and soul clear of clutter.  Exercise also gives me energy, keeps me healthy, and makes me appreciate the temple God has given us.  Clean and leaner eating is a must in my life.  I indulge in a few carbs every now and then for a treat, but I eat lots of vegetables, fruit, and protein to sustain my youthful and healthy lifestyle.  I’ve lost 20 pounds over the last year, and I feel great!

Lastly, I also love spending time with my family. We love to travel.  I am a beach bum and love being near the ocean. I think it’s the closest thing to heaven we will see while on earth.

Latisha_LYFF[the phoenix rising collective]Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

Yes, I am hearing impaired.  I was born in the 1960s with a progressive hearing loss that damaged my nerve cells.  My mom died when I was six weeks old, leaving my dad and grandmother to raise me, and they also had hearing impairments.  My impairment went undiagnosed until I was 19 years old.  I remember that as a young child I took speech classes and constantly took hearing tests. I was told to sit in front of the classroom, but I was never told that I needed a hearing aid or had hearing loss.  I always thought I heard well.  The blessing is that when I was born I heard the beginning of language, and that formed my communication.

I remember never being able to hear the words in a song or what was said on a TV show.  I also recall that in  5th grade my grades began to plummet, and that carried on until I graduated from high school.  I did graduate, but I missed out on so much in school. However, I always had this tireless drive to succeed.  I stayed in talent shows or on stage performing; again, never realizing that I wasn’t hearing so much, yet still beating the odds.

After moving from Ohio (where I’m from) and living with my older sister in New Jersey.  She immediately recognized that I couldn’t hear well.  She had me tested.  During that one visit, the specialist explained to me how my life was from newborn to 19 years old. I was flabbergasted.  My heart sunk to the bottom of my feet.  I cried and grieved.  At that point, I understood that I’d never really heard words, but had mastered reading lips.  I was proud that I did that, but my goals and desires for my life went in another direction.  I began the selective process of what I could or couldn’t do because of my hearing impairment.  I had to learn to accept and embrace my disability.  As time went on, I read more about my hearing loss and decided I wouldn’t allow it to stop me from the plans God has for me. After bypassing the insecurities about my hearing loss, I proudly wore my hearing aids and began the self-empowerment journey.

I always had a desire to continue my education.  I completed 33 credits in the classroom with help from some great and phenomenal friends.  They would take the same courses with me to write my notes.  I am indebted to them for life.  I had a few best friends who always made my phone calls for me and did anything to move the barrier that stopped me from effectively communicating.  I stopped going to school after my buddies couldn’t go any longer.  After a few years, I had the most beautiful son.  I knew then I had to do more and better. I took the chance and registered with the University of Maryland’s Online Distance Education.  Although online education had been around for a while, I was still skeptical and took a census for opinions about its effectiveness versus the classroom. There were some naysayers, but plenty of my friends and family supported me and said DO IT!  I did.  It was the greatest challenge that I appreciate to the fullest.

I started in 2003 and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Business with a minor in International Law in August 2008. That was the liberating point where I knew I could keep going.  At the time, my job was restructuring and we had to attend a paralegal program and pass to keep our employment.  I passed with flying colors.  I received my paralegal certificate with honors in 2009.  Oh no, I didn’t stop there!  In 2010, I registered with Seton Hall University to receive my master’s degree in Strategic Communications. And guess what?  To its entirety the classes were mainly in the classroom.  I contacted Seton Hall’s Disability Support Services and was able to receive remote closed caption for each class.  Wow, was I so excited! The professors and my classmates were very helpful during the whole process.  I’m so thankful.  Today, after 24 years I’m still working at Seton Hall University.

I am also a travel agent for Paycation.  This is allowing me to build my network and reach higher goals. In addition, I would also like to teach.  I trust God knows my desires of the heart since “He plans to give us hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I’m so thankful for my family and friends that have supported and helped me overcome many obstacles.

What have you learned from self-love?

Self-love is about treating myself with special care and loving who I am.  It’s not selfish. It’s what God intends for us to do. I can only love others completely when I love me first.  I can care for others when I care for me.  I do things that make me happy and keep me at peace, as self-acceptance is loving me.  With that I am able to do things more freely and without concern about how others perceive me.  No matter what I experience as good or bad, with self-love I will be provided a good, healthy balance of emotional well being.  With self-love I accept others, and I accept kindness without expectation of anything else.   Self-love means to care and accept myself with everything I got!

 

Thank you, Latisha! You are definitely a Phoenix rising! Happy Friday.

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If you’d like to share your self-love story with The Collective contact us here.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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A Letter of Love To My Sisters: A Truthful Conversation about the Pressures of Everyday Life

black women and mental health[the phoenix rising collective]

On her Saturday morning news show in mid- April 2014, Melissa Harris-Perry interviewed hip hop emcee Pharoahe Monch. During the interview, she asked him about the significance of his new album being titled P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). He calmly replied that he wanted to be more transparent on this album and discuss his personal challenges with depression. While watching this short but candid interview I was also skimming various online articles about beauty/lifestyle blogger and founder of FOR BROWN GIRLS, Karyn Washington, committing suicide. While the details vary (at least expressed through various media outlets) about the reasons the beautiful 22 year old committed suicide, my initial response was, what it always is when I learn someone – anyone – decides to take their own life, “why?”. This isn’t a question to judge or criticize with a “chile, please” side-eye. It’s more of a question that’s posed to understand the psychological, emotional, and/or spiritual rationale for the decision. It ponders whether or not it could have been prevented. It’s an inquisitive attempt to discern what seemingly unresolved inner struggles led to suicide as a final decision. It’s a “why” harboring great disdain toward a healthcare system in which African-Americans are disproportionately under served or denied access to quality mental health services. Of this striking statistic, black women specifically are drastically impacted. According to NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Health), “Many African American women do not seek treatment because it is viewed as a weakness and not a mental health problem. Only 12% of African American women seek help and/or treatment.” We have been conditioned to mask or suppress symptoms of depression, stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. by hiding behind a face full of M.A.C., taking antidepressant pills, gulping down bottles of wine like Olivia Pope, or the other extreme, contemplating ending life altogether.

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Karyn Washington, Founder, For Brown Girls

This cyclone of thoughts swirled in my head for about 15 minutes. Then I went on a reflective journey examining my own battle with depression, as well as the need for even more transparency in my relationships and candor about discussing my mental health issues. I also considered all the black women in my family and intimate circle, as well as those whom I work with and others I may share an exchange or two with during the morning commute. We all attempt to bare the face of Ms. Got-my-stuff-together-and-I’m-in-control; yet many of us are visibly and quickly unraveling at the seams. Generally speaking, many black women are not communing with one another (or anyone else) to have truthful conversations about the daily pressures that plague us.

I am a firm believer that every human emotion is governed by either fear or love. We can attach a myriad of adjectives to our emotions, but essentially they all trace back to fear or love. That said, how can black women begin to collectively conquer the fear of admitting to mental exhaustion or defeat in our lives? How do we begin to shatter the illusion of poker-faced perfection we’ve allowed to permeate our beings? How do we create the sacred spaces amongst ourselves, and if necessary, go back (one, two, or three generations) to our foremothers and examine the cyclical and recurring themes surrounding battles with mental health? Finally, how can we nurture and support one another in operating at our highest capacities within institutions that are mere microcosms of a larger culture that explicitly undermines and devalues our effort (to say the least) toward equal existence in every facet of our lives?

I don’t have all the answers nor am I a mental healthcare professional by any stretch of the imagination. However, as a womyn that considers herself to be colossally self-aware and observant of other womyn around her, I very vividly witness my reflection all around me. Sisters, many of us are sharing a global experience. Let’s open our eyes, our hearts, our minds, and our mouths to vehemently discuss all that runs rampant in promoting constant turmoil and decay. We cannot and should not carry this burden alone. Let’s seek out the help, support, treatment, circles, resources etc. that we need to help us shift into the divine image and likeness we were created in.

It has been one of my most intentional prayers that black women can embark on a new journey. And on this journey we learn the profound impact of initiating decisions that support us compassionately, intensely, fearlessly, unabashedly, and fully loving ourselves and one another. Divine Goddesses, we have the ability to be vulnerable and powerful at the same time.

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About the Contributing Writer:

Kaneesha_bio_pic[shine]W. KaNeesha Allen is the Motherhood Empowerment contributor for The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is an educator with extensive project management, student support services, and community outreach experience in K-12 and higher education institutions. She is also the mother of two extremely rambunctious and fun loving boys – Ausar and Mikah. Seeking to master the balance between being a highly engaged mother and taking time to BE with herself in the divine energy of the universe, KaNeesha finds peace, solace, and regeneration through meditation, Vinyasa yoga, and her “Sistah Circle”. She welcomes mothers from everywhere to join her on a journey of self-discovery and evolution towards harnessing, embodying, and emoting the Goddess power within.


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AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: I love my body.

positive_body_affirmation[the phoenix rising collective]

Our charge to you is to repeat this affirmation until you believe it! Yes, it can be a struggle to fully accept yourself from head to toe when women are constantly bombarded with language and images that relay (subliminally or otherwise) to change their physical appearance in some way, shape, or form.

Well, no more! Decide right now that you’re going to celebrate your unique identity and bask in the beautiful expression of life, love, and light that you are.

You’re a Phoenix. Keep shining! Be self-love in action.


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SELF-LOVE TIP OF THE DAY: Be Grateful and Write About It!

gratitude_journal [phoenix rising collective]

Be grateful. Tonight (after your day of doing all that you do), choose to express gratitude by focusing on the positive, inspirational things that happened to you (or even moments that happened to others and how good it made you feel).

Take a moment to reflect on the beauty, love, joy, happiness, and growth you witnessed and experienced – big and small – in nature and/or with people (including yourself). Journal about them. It’s as simple as, “Today I am grateful for…” and listing each one. It doesn’t have to be a large list. In fact, just journal until you feel you’re ready to stop.  Make it a daily, intentional practice, and observe how this exercise in mindfulness shifts your perspective and transforms your life!

Tip: Select a journal/notebook that you love and use it specifically for gratitude journaling. And you can reference it as a reminder of how abundantly and consistently awesome your life really is and to keep yourself centered on the importance of being in the moment.

Be self-love in action.

Do you already have a gratitude journal? If so, how has it shifted your perspective on life? How often do you express your gratitude?


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Good Vibes: 4 Ways to Honor and Tap Into Your Intuition

follow your intuition[the phoenix rising collective]

We think, feel, and act on our vibes without question or hesitation. -Sonia Choquette

What are vibes and why should we trust them? Our vibes are our intuition, and we make our best decisions by listening to them.

Learning About Vibes: Aisha’s Story

I only recently got into vibes. I was having a pretty difficult time, with life in general, when Simone (being the lovely friend she is) sent me a book geared at teaching me to trust my vibes. The book Simone sent me was Trusting Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette. I decided to start reading the book at night before bed and low-and-behold, it helped to give me some better insight into this whole vibe thing.

Now that I’m officially on board with the concept of vibes, let me tell you as a beginner what exactly trusting my own vibes has meant to me. There are a few themes that have resonated with me thus far on my journey:

The Importance of Sleep – Wait, What is that Anyway?

Anyone who knows me knows that I have problems with sleep. Mainly my problems with sleep come from just not getting any sleep, or infrequently getting a good night’s rest. Even as I write this, it is 1:47am, and I plan to be up early to go to class. One of the things Choquette suggests in the book is getting sleep, because you can’t listen to your vibes correctly if you are too tired. This resonated with me. As I move toward better listening to my vibes and following my intuition I have begun to focus on trying to get adequate amounts of sleep (if we don’t count tonight).

Paying Attention to What Goes In – Eating Better

Eating right and being nice to your body is also important for being able to pay adequate attention to your vibes. This is one thing that I have begun to refocus on lately, and it has helped. My sister who is on deployment asked me to take part in a fitness challenge with her, which requires that I journal all of my food and liquid consumption and all of my exercise. Taking the time to be conscious of what I am putting in my body has helped me have a better understanding of what listening to my body means.

 The Power of Words

I always knew that words had power – but learning about trusting my vibes has solidified this for me. I now understand how what I put out in the form of words can affect my overall being. With that in mind, I’ve been working with a statement that I try to repeat to myself several times throughout the day – that statement for me is “this shall pass” – and so far it has helped immensely.

Your sixth sense is really your first sense. -Sonia Choquette

Trusting My Vibes: Simone’s Story

I love the quote above by Sonia Choquette. A few years ago, my Godmother let me flip through her copy of Choquette’s Trust Your Vibes. I had always thought of myself as very intuitive; however, it was the skim through Choquette’s book that encouraged me to dive deeper into my intuition and spirituality. I read her book just about everyday because it guides me in following spiritual law instead of living a life where I am not in tune with the Universe or myself.

 Live in the Moment + Expect the Very Best from the Universe

In the past, I was very anxious, always expecting the worst. However, Choquette’s book has taught me to live in the moment and expect the very best from the Universe. To me, this means focusing on and enjoying what is right in front of me instead of trying to control everything. When I live in the moment, I am able to recognize the love around me: The laughter coming from my friends’ bellies, the mason jar of grapes feeling me with energy, and my cat, Ice T staring a hole into my soul!

Recognizing love, for me, lets me know that everything is already all right. I love being full of laughter, health, and good music, so I stay where good things are and expect them to be good, again and again. In the moment, I know that my power lies in being happy and full of love. If you are thinking about that typo you may or may not have fixed in your final draft, you might miss the opportunity to return a smile to a stranger or miss the sun setting on the way home from class. You could also miss the answers to your prayers. The moment is not only filled with happiness and love, it is also a place of intuition. I’ve learned so much about my life’s purpose and myself just by observing the colors, sounds, animals, buildings, etc. that surround me. I often say what I observe aloud or mentally; for example, “Ice T is snoring!” This technique helps me to recognize the love and beauty that surrounds me, which in turn, keeps me happy and full of positive energy.

Four Ways To Honor/Tap Into Your Intuition

We have complied a list of ways to stay in the moment and tap into your intuition. Get ready to trust your vibes, baby!

  1. Create a Personal Altar – You can use your altar to connect with your spirit, intuition, and God. You can place pictures of family, candles, plants, purified water, and healing stones on your altar to help you connect with the deeper parts of yourself. Visit your altar everyday, and give thanks for guidance.
  2. Keep an Intuition Journal – Create a journal to document your intuitive moments. Did you know you’d win those front row tickets to the Beyoncé concert? Write it down. Did you decide to take another way home and later discover that there had been a huge accident on your usual route? Write it down. The more we write down our intuitive moments and give thanks for our vibes, the more empowered we are to think positively and live in the moment.
  3. Meditate / Yoga – “When you listen you become intuitive.” Meditation really encourages you to be still. In our experiences, being still helps us to become aware of the thought patterns, habits, etc. that keep us from accessing our vibes. Moreover, being still gives us the opportunity to listen to ourselves and connect with our intuition. Yoga does the same for us. And the plus with yoga is that we get both a physical and spiritual “workout.”
  4. Eat Well + Sleep Well + Exercise – As Aisha mentioned, a healthy body is a great starting point for tapping into your intuition. When you’re rested and full of energy, you are more likely to feel your vibes.

 

Listening to our vibes has worked wonders in our lives. We’ve presented excellent papers at conferences, started new activities, met new people, and have been laughing so much more. Oh, and we’ve found missing bobby pins in the moments where we’ve stopped to cook ourselves a nice breakfast. Yes, bobby pins are everywhere!

So, tell us, have you trusted your vibes lately? If not, when will you begin?

Recommended Resources:

Making Positive Change Happen in Your Life: Awesome Tips and Creative Ways to Achieve Your Personal Goals

Check Out My Altar (and Learn to Make Your Own)

Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette

 

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About the Contributing Writers:

AISHA_BLOG[PHOTO]Aisha Upton is a second-year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests include Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance.  Be sure to read Aisha + Simone’s unique take on Life + Style and the importance of letting who you are shine through when defining your personal style.

 

SimonePic3Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably. Simone is teaming with Aisha (read about her below) to bring you a unique take on Life + Style.


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SELF-LOVE TIP OF THE DAY: I Let Go of the Need to be Perfect!

 

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We were searching for a bit of inspiration for the Self-Love Tip of the Day and found that this definitely hit the mark! Perfectionism…LET. IT. GO. once and for all.

You are complete just as you are in this moment. Embrace it.  Healthy striving is a focus on reaching attainable goals, understanding that even when you make mistakes along the way there is something to be learned from them, too. It’s a balanced motivation for self-improvement that supports wellness. “Healthy striving is self-focused: “How can I improve?” Perfectionism is other-focused: “What will they think?” –Brene Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Shout-out to Samantha Marie Davis (designer) for creating this awesome bag as a reminder to let go of being perfect! Interested in the bag? Check out Lipstick Affirmations.

Create the day you want, Phoenix! Be self-love in action.

 


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SELF-LOVE TIP OF THE DAY: Support Other Women. Create an Empowered Network.

affirmation_women_networking[phoenix rising collective]1

Women supporting other women, it’s alright. –Ledisi

Yes, it’s as simple as this quote. (We absolutely love it, by the way!) Women need to support one another in our commitment to being better – personally, spiritually, professionally, and emotionally, as there is strength and empowered action in numbers!

Create a positive sister circle, or as one of our contributing writers calls it, “My Goddess Squad,” who believe in what you want for your life, and also believe that there’s enough to go around. We’ve heard it before, “What’s meant for you will be for you.” In other words, if it’s yours, no one can take it away. The universe will open to give it to you in one way or another at the perfect time. And if your Goddess Squad believes this, too, there’s no room for envy, jealousy, and coveting what the next person has. So, do away with that deficit thinking by choosing more positively affirming thoughts and actions, and make one of those actions selecting a circle of women that supports your deepest dreams, goals, and desires.

In essence, keep doing the work (and only you know what that entails). Be patient. Celebrate the process. Remain open. Network with like-minded women. And lastly, support one another on your awesome paths to appointed greatness! You never know; a sister in your divine network may have (or knows someone who has) the perfect opportunity you’ve been patiently waiting to seize. “Women supporting other women, it’s alright.” In fact, it’s more than alright. It’s beautiful.

Be self-love in action. Happy Wednesday.


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How to Embrace Living Outside Your Comfort Zone to Create the Life You Really Want – An Artist’s Point of View

comfort_zone_article[phoenixrisingcollective]

I have incessantly pondered how to begin this first 2014 article. What do I want to share with the readers this year on the subject of Art and Creativity? And how can I link this subject to The PRC’s theme “Balance”?

Let’s begin with a definition of balance. According to Dictionary.com, balance means “a state of equilibrium; mental steadiness or emotional stability.” According to Traci Currie, balance also means recognizing the yin and yang in one’s life in order to help understand and explore the beautiful complexities that make life worth living. I don’t blame any reader for asking, “What in the world are you talking about? Yin and Yang. Really, TC?” And my response is YES! I am talking about the opposing forces that need each other to help create balance. For example, I am both comfortable and uncomfortable in the mental and physical space I presently inhabit. The opposition lies in living out my discomfort but also creating ease in my day-to-day routine.

You might wonder why life is uncomfortable for me these days. Well, I am on an unpaid leave-of-absence from work. I do not have insurance. I do not have my own home (as I once did). I no longer have a vehicle I can jump into and drive anywhere and everywhere; I am more dependent on people than I have ever been in my life. And believe you-me, I am a very independent person. Now, let’s look at the other side – what makes life comfortable? I have a warm place to lay my head every night. I am fed every single day. If there is an emergency I have loved ones who will help me. Most of all, I am faith driven. In other words, although I may not have the answers to my questions and concerns right now, I know or believe that the questions/concerns I have will be answered in due time.

Art and Creativity’s Connection to Life Outside the Comfort Zone

Now what does being uncomfortable have to do with being creative and artistic? Everything. At the end of 2013 I asked Discomfort to be my friend instead of my enemy or my phobia-driven antagonist. Discomfort replied, “Sure thing, TC. But I require something of you.” My response, “What do you want from me?” Discomfort’s response, “Trust. Walk with me all the way to the end of this journey and do not give up – no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Just find a way to keep going.” Finding a way to move through situations means I have to be creative and quite the artist. And guess what? I’m up for the challenge! After all, Discomfort and I are friends, and the great thing about an honest friendship is that you have the opportunity to learn each other and grow together.

So, this year I have sought out other artists who have impacted my life. Some of them are friends; some of them are people I have never met but read about or listened to; some of them have passed on and some have yet to be found. Although they come in different shades, ages and gender, I am focusing on women of color for my articles. In addition, I have also decided to rethink what art is and what it looks like to both the world (that’s a pretty big audience) and to me. In essence, I hope to broaden the understanding (mine and yours) of Art and Creativity.

Throughout the year I will talk to various women artists about balance and what that means to them. But most importantly I will link their responses to my life so that there is a connection as to why I have chosen them for each article.  I will not focus every month on a specific artist but I will always focus on the theme, balance, which is why I am calling this, “A Year of Symmetry: Creatively Finding Balance from the Artisan.” I specifically use the word artisan because it often defines a craftsperson or someone skilled in the applied arts. Not everyone is deemed an artisan. I have learned that artisans study their craft and most often become the craft itself – which leads me to my first artist or more appropriately named, Artisan.

The Unconventional Artisan: Carol

comfort_zone_quote[phoenixrisingcollective.orgFor February I have chosen to be a bit unconventional by featuring my mother. What’s unconventional about that? Well, she does not like being in the public eye. Putting her in the spotlight is uncomfortable. Moreover, people might argue my calling her an artisan, but hear me out, and consider her story:

Carol is a teacher. OK, actually she is a retired computer programmer, and she presently substitutes three days per week at a bilingual elementary school. Most of the students know her quite well and she is well-loved by some of the teachers and students. I am not just saying this because she told me or because she is my mother. I actually witnessed it. I visited the school and watched her in class this past January. I also watched her interaction with various teachers and administrators who made it their business to tell me how much they love her. She is an artist. She has a way with children that many of us WISH we had.

My mother has a rhythm in her Caribbean voice that is assertive, vibrant, and peaceful. For example, a fifth grade boy was getting smart with her. I held my breath for a moment wondering how this was going to play out. She said something to him calmly and walked away. He seemed to annoyingly fiddle around on the computer. He even looked at me once as if he wanted to take me down. She went back to his computer and talked to him again. Before I could blink he agreed with whatever she said and willingly completed his work. Now, I know this is a general example because the question one might have is “What did they say to each other?” For me, it was less about what was said and more about what she showed him – a teacher’s heart, wisdom, and skills. How is this art? Well, I have learned over the years that a good teacher isn’t just someone who gives you information and walks away. A good teacher, in many cases, is a performer. We perform for our students and find ways to make the material interesting, understandable, sometimes creative, and relevant to their lives. And as a performer we find ways to improve our performance for our audience. My best teacher was a statistics professor. STATISTICS?! (For those of you who loathe anything numerical). He made stats look like poetry because he LOVED the subject so much that you had no other choice but to enjoy it as much as he did. He cracked jokes, offered personal anecdotes, even acted out a few scenarios with numbers. And to think, I was told that this professor disliked women and Black people, which meant I was out for the count! But aha, I came out of that class with an A (or A-) because he taught me poetry with numbers. What am I saying about my mother and/or teachers? My mother does more than substitute-teach. She teaches these students with hugs, with words of encouragement, with the obvious technical instruction, and most of all, with love.

All the artisans I know, no matter what they profess as their occupation, are called by this rightful name because they know how to find the artistry in what they do. And even when the work becomes frustrating and uncomfortable they somehow embrace the challenge as a part of the road map they have been given to find their way to their appointed destination. Again, it’s a part of life. It’s what makes life worth living.

What have I learned from her? The question that I really should ask is “What haven’t I learned from her?” I now know that I teach because it is an art form that I can wheel and deal and reshape every time I step into the classroom. But then again, everywhere I go seems to afford me the opportunity to be a teacher and a student, which means ART is always at my feet. So, here’s to an artisan that knows her craft as well as she knows herself. And make no mistake, Carol knows herself well. If you need proof, simply look at what she has produced – ME!

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About the Contributing Writer:

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Traci Currie is the Art + Creativity contributor for The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is a Communication and Visual Arts lecturer at University of Michigan-Flint, as well as a knit-crochet artist, writer, and spoken word performer. She has been a part of the art world for over 15 years as an art gallery board member; spoken word series organizer; performer, nationally and internationally; and published poet.  Read her latest posts here.


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The Phoenix Book of the Week: Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette

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Our Phoenix Book of the Week Pick comes from Angela:

Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette

At the time of purchasing Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette I was feeling a bit overwhelmed in many areas of my life, especially my career.  Although my intentions were good, I had made a terrible mistake. Had I listened to what my heart was saying (that is my intuition) I would not have ended up in the crisis I thought I was in. Thankfully the universe opened itself to me, sending what I needed at the very moment I needed it. In other words, this book appeared! The title alone drew me in, and it’s one of my top five favorite books of all time.

I have to admit, I felt that I was a pretty “conscious” woman prior to buying the book, but after reading the first few pages I soon realized that although I am spiritually aware, I wasn’t listening to my inner teacher or inner voice.  The content of Trust Your Vibes is much more complex than explaining what to do when your inner voice speaks to you and whether or not you take heed, it’s all about living at a higher frequency.  I realized that my intuition is direct contact with my divine nature and that supersedes intellect. For example, as a child I felt there was always something more, something bigger; however, I thought that “something” was outside of me. Choquette reveals that it is our sixth sense, and it is definitely not outside of us.

She also explains how to create a beautiful, peaceful, and bountiful life by simply doing two things: (1) being clear on your intentions, and (2) being present!

One of the main lessons that resonated with me from the book is that using your intuition is essential and not optional in today’s world. If you’re seeking true happiness, success, joy, peace, or authenticity then you must begin with your sixth sense, your best sense – your intuition.

After reading Trust Your Vibes several times, I understand that the best way to rely upon my “vibes”, “gut”, or intuition – whatever you choose to call it – means to live with intention.

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About The Phoenix Book of the Week:

The Phoenix Book of the Week features book recommendations from The Phoenix Rising Collective, as well as the empowered women who support us. We’ll be sharing our thoughts on books that have been powerful resources for sustaining healthy self-esteem, creating emotional and spiritual wellness, and committing to intentional living. We’ll also share our personal stories about how and why the books have inspired personal growth and sparked “light bulb moments” that changed our lives in some way. The book picks may cover a wide range of topics from diverse genres.

Interested in sharing a book with us? Please click here to send your request for more details on submitting a book entry.