April 29, 2014
by The Phoenix Rising Collective Leave a comment

Good Vibes: 4 Ways to Honor and Tap Into Your Intuition

We think, feel, and act on our vibes without question or hesitation. -Sonia Choquette

What are vibes and why should we trust them? Our vibes are our intuition, and we make our best decisions by listening to them.

Learning About Vibes: Aisha’s Story

I only recently got into vibes. I was having a pretty difficult time, with life in general, when Simone (being the lovely friend she is) sent me a book geared at teaching me to trust my vibes. The book Simone sent me was Trusting Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette. I decided to start reading the book at night before bed and low-and-behold, it helped to give me some better insight into this whole vibe thing.

Now that I’m officially on board with the concept of vibes, let me tell you as a beginner what exactly trusting my own vibes has meant to me. There are a few themes that have resonated with me thus far on my journey:

The Importance of Sleep – Wait, What is that Anyway?

Anyone who knows me knows that I have problems with sleep. Mainly my problems with sleep come from just not getting any sleep, or infrequently getting a good night’s rest. Even as I write this, it is 1:47am, and I plan to be up early to go to class. One of the things Choquette suggests in the book is getting sleep, because you can’t listen to your vibes correctly if you are too tired. This resonated with me. As I move toward better listening to my vibes and following my intuition I have begun to focus on trying to get adequate amounts of sleep (if we don’t count tonight).

Paying Attention to What Goes In - Eating Better

Eating right and being nice to your body is also important for being able to pay adequate attention to your vibes. This is one thing that I have begun to refocus on lately, and it has helped. My sister who is on deployment asked me to take part in a fitness challenge with her, which requires that I journal all of my food and liquid consumption and all of my exercise. Taking the time to be conscious of what I am putting in my body has helped me have a better understanding of what listening to my body means.

The Power of Words

I always knew that words had power – but learning about trusting my vibes has solidified this for me. I now understand how what I put out in the form of words can affect my overall being. With that in mind, I’ve been working with a statement that I try to repeat to myself several times throughout the day – that statement for me is “this shall pass” – and so far it has helped immensely.

Your sixth sense is really your first sense. -Sonia Choquette

Trusting My Vibes: Simone’s Story

I love the quote above by Sonia Choquette. A few years ago, my Godmother let me flip through her copy of Choquette’s Trust Your Vibes. I had always thought of myself as very intuitive; however, it was the skim through Choquette’s book that encouraged me to dive deeper into my intuition and spirituality. I read her book just about everyday because it guides me in following spiritual law instead of living a life where I am not in tune with the Universe or myself.

Live in the Moment + Expect the Very Best from the Universe

In the past, I was very anxious, always expecting the worst. However, Choquette’s book has taught me to live in the moment and expect the very best from the Universe. To me, this means focusing on and enjoying what is right in front of me instead of trying to control everything. When I live in the moment, I am able to recognize the love around me: The laughter coming from my friends’ bellies, the mason jar of grapes feeling me with energy, and my cat, Ice T staring a hole into my soul!

Recognizing love, for me, lets me know that everything is already all right. I love being full of laughter, health, and good music, so I stay where good things are and expect them to be good, again and again. In the moment, I know that my power lies in being happy and full of love. If you are thinking about that typo you may or may not have fixed in your final draft, you might miss the opportunity to return a smile to a stranger or miss the sun setting on the way home from class. You could also miss the answers to your prayers. The moment is not only filled with happiness and love, it is also a place of intuition. I’ve learned so much about my life’s purpose and myself just by observing the colors, sounds, animals, buildings, etc. that surround me. I often say what I observe aloud or mentally; for example, “Ice T is snoring!” This technique helps me to recognize the love and beauty that surrounds me, which in turn, keeps me happy and full of positive energy.

Four Ways To Honor/Tap Into Your Intuition

We have complied a list of ways to stay in the moment and tap into your intuition. Get ready to trust your vibes, baby!

Create a Personal Altar - You can use your altar to connect with your spirit, intuition, and God. You can place pictures of family, candles, plants, purified water, and healing stones on your altar to help you connect with the deeper parts of yourself. Visit your altar everyday, and give thanks for guidance.
Keep an Intuition Journal - Create a journal to document your intuitive moments. Did you know you’d win those front row tickets to the Beyoncé concert? Write it down. Did you decide to take another way home and later discover that there had been a huge accident on your usual route? Write it down. The more we write down our intuitive moments and give thanks for our vibes, the more empowered we are to think positively and live in the moment.
Meditate / Yoga - “When you listen you become intuitive.” Meditation really encourages you to be still. In our experiences, being still helps us to become aware of the thought patterns, habits, etc. that keep us from accessing our vibes. Moreover, being still gives us the opportunity to listen to ourselves and connect with our intuition. Yoga does the same for us. And the plus with yoga is that we get both a physical and spiritual “workout.”
Eat Well + Sleep Well + Exercise - As Aisha mentioned, a healthy body is a great starting point for tapping into your intuition. When you’re rested and full of energy, you are more likely to feel your vibes.

Listening to our vibes has worked wonders in our lives. We’ve presented excellent papers at conferences, started new activities, met new people, and have been laughing so much more. Oh, and we’ve found missing bobby pins in the moments where we’ve stopped to cook ourselves a nice breakfast. Yes, bobby pins are everywhere!

So, tell us, have you trusted your vibes lately? If not, when will you begin?

Recommended Resources:

Making Positive Change Happen in Your Life: Awesome Tips and Creative Ways to Achieve Your Personal Goals

Check Out My Altar (and Learn to Make Your Own)

Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette

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About the Contributing Writers:

Aisha Upton is a second-year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests include Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance. Be sure to read Aisha + Simone’s unique take on Life + Style and the importance of letting who you are shine through when defining your personal style.

Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably. Simone is teaming with Aisha (read about her below) to bring you a unique take on Life + Style.

March 28, 2014
by The Phoenix Rising Collective Leave a comment

Celebrate the Phenomenal Women in Your Life: 10 Simple Ways to Do It!

It’s Women’s History Month and we want to shout out some of the women in our lives who have inspired us. While it is important to highlight women from history, it is often our own life histories that have the largest impact on our day-to-day lives. The women we’re featuring below are exemplars of style and beacons of light on very personal, everyday levels.

Aisha’s Mother - “My Mommy is the Best Mother of All Time”

The first person I want to recognize is my mommy. I know that everyone claims this, but my mommy is the best mother of all time. She has always been an inspiration to me and continues to inspire me every single day.

One of the main ways she has been an inspiration is by providing a blueprint for perseverance. When my father became a drug addict, my mother found herself raising three children on her own. In true mommy style, she not only raised us but also did a great job at it. Growing up she found a way to work two jobs and still be an extremely active parent. And she is still the number one supporter of my siblings and me; honestly, she is one of my best friends.

After I left for college and my sister left for the Navy, my mother decided to go back to school. Working two jobs, still, she started putting herself through school and moving toward a nursing degree. She has shown me that perseverance is key. Oftentimes when I feel down, she reminds me that bad times do not last forever – and she is right.

My mother’s style of doing things, of making a way out of seemingly no way, and of pushing that rock to get everyone out of a hard place is simply amazing. So often my mother stops to tell me how proud she is of me – but honestly, I owe everything I am, both literally and figuratively, to her. She brought me into this world and it is her determination and perseverance that have gotten me this far.

Aisha’s Sister - “Having a Little Sister to Play with was Pretty Awesome, Too!”

Most of my time during childhood was spent with my brother and sister. Because of this we are all very close. My sister, Jazmin, was born two years after me. Although I was initially my older brother’s partner in crime, having a little sister to play with was pretty awesome, too. Like all sisters who grow up sharing everything (toys, clothes, and a room) we also shared a pretty healthy mix of arguing and getting along. As we’ve grown older we have grown closer.

Jazmin joined the Navy on her 17th birthday. Because of this she ends up spending most of her time thousands of miles away from our family. This can feel rough at times because we miss her a lot, but when we talk on the phone or when she is stateside (and I get to visit her) we always have an amazing time. Sometimes it feels like Jazmin is my little-big sister because she seems to have her life so much more together than I do. She pushes me and our mother to take care of ourselves (even from oversees right now, Jazmin checks on me to make sure I am eating healthy – that is LOVE).

My sister is an inspiration to me because she exemplifies determination. She knew very early on what she wanted and she went for it. She wanted to join the Navy - and so she did. She wanted to make her life and our lives better – and so she has. Jazmin was determined to make an amazing life for herself and she has. One of the greatest pleasures of my life, thus far, has been being able to watch Jazmin grow up into the beautiful and smart woman that she is.

Simone’s Mother - “I Did Not Recognize My Mother’s Light Until She Passed Away”

First, I want to honor my mother who is my angel. Truthfully, I did not recognize my mother’s light until after she passed away in 2003. So much of it was blocked by her struggle against her insecurities. My mother’s solution, to undergo gastric-bypass surgery, eventually cost her her life; she died as a result of post-operative complications. Initially, after she passed, I did not see my mother as a strong woman because I thought she was always preoccupied with how others perceived her. She chose to have the operation because being called fat made her upset and also made her feel ugly. Sometimes she defended herself against the marks, and there were also moments where I could not tell that people’s remarks affected her. Reflecting on those moments, I realize that my mother did, in fact, love herself. No matter the pain (physical and mental) she was going through, she still laughed and smiled—oh, and took hundreds of pictures of herself (ha—if she had Facebook, we’d be competing with selfies!). I can still see her throwing her head back in laughter the day she had her left breast amputated.

I am honoring my mother for her simplicity. She was in and out of the hospital and had to take care of several children after being laid off. The struggle with her insecurities complicated her life in some ways; however, she never lost sight of peace and happiness. During her panic attacks, she just wanted me to lie with her. And during her stays in the hospital, she just wanted my grandmother to comb her hair. She was aware of the love in and around her, and though “too late,” I think she realized that she did not have to risk her life to be accepted/loved by the people who would never love her anyway. My mother taught me that pain is complicated and will attempt to eat away your happiness. Her journey continues to inspire me to live my life simply, especially in a way that keeps her light shining.

Simone’s Sister - “Brittani is One of My Best Friends”

Ah, my little button-nose lover! (She is probably cracking up reading this right now.) My younger sister, Brittani is one of my best friends, and I am honoring her for her love and positivity. I can always count on her to make me laugh, or laugh at my crazy jokes! And just like my mother, she always throws her head back in laughter.

And speaking of mothers—Brittani is the mother of two beautiful children, Breaker (Baby Breaker) and Brielle (Chunka Munka!). When she became a mother, she was as nervous as any first-time mom would be. She was also very happy and in love with her new role, though some people judged her for becoming a mother at the age of 16. When she had Chunka Munka at 21, people continued to judge her; however, Brittani loves her life and sees her children as on time and a part of the Creator’s plan for her. Sometimes she does call me because she is upset at people and their hurtful remarks. However, before I can tell her that I am on my way with Vaseline, she bounces back. She moves from being upset to “Well, anyway. Grey’s is coming on tonight!” And what’s most beautiful, I think, is her unwavering love. She continues to love and do good things for others despite the pain some have attempted to cause her.

Brittani does not always think she is this positive and loving person, but I want her to know that when she texts me things like, “Good morning, my sista!” or posts Facebook statuses about how much she loves her family, I melt on the inside. She is such a beacon of love and light. I want her to know how resilient she is, and how her resilience inspires me to bounce back and keep moving. And I know watching Netflix through a wine hangover is not the same struggle as changing diapers on 3 hours of sleep, but all that strength and happiness in her, encourages me to live in love and positivity. Mother Earth loves you, Sissy Button Love.

So, who are you honoring for Women’s History Month? How has she inspired you? What does her life mean to you? What does her style of doing things teach you?

Below we’ve compiled 10 simple ways to honor and celebrate the women in your own life:

Have tea/coffee or a meal together (or cook a meal for her) - A home-cooked meal or hot beverage always warms the soul; it’s also a very inexpensive way to show someone how much you appreciate them.
Plan a craft or cooking day - If she’s artsy/crafty, this will be right up her alley; not only will she love spending time working with her hands, she’ll enjoy doing it with you.
Write her a letter or a poem - This is almost a lost art, especially in the days of social media. A letter or poem will provide an opportunity for you to carve out down-time to write and to be thoughtful with your words while writing. She’ll definitely know that it’s from your heart.
Go on a hike or walk in the park - It’s great exercise and nature has a way of opening the imagination, making it a perfect time to share what’s on your mind.
Make sugar scrub or a piece of jewelry for her - Self-care should always be at the top of the list, so selecting her favorite scents for a sugar scrub or the perfect stones for a necklace will make the gift even more special to her.
Tell her that you love her everyday - Time is precious; let people know how you really feel about them.
Work out/do yoga together - Having an accountability workout partner can provide that boost of energy to keep going! Why not make that partner someone you consider a phenomenal woman?
Do a wine and movie night - It’s another great way to relax; in fact, let her choose the wine and her favorite movie.
Send her an inspirational book - We all need inspiration to maintain resilience - even the women we’re inspired by, so send her a book that has empowered you.
Make her laugh often - It’s definitely the best medicine, and nothing is more special (and hilarious) than hearing someone you love laugh!

Let us know how you honor the women in your life. Share your own life stories in the comments section—we want to continue to honor Women’s History Month with the stories we don’t read about everyday.

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About the Contributing Writers:

February 7, 2014
by The Phoenix Rising Collective Leave a comment

5 Practical Ways to Stay Grounded and Get to Happy (Yes, saying no is one of them!)

We’re not sure if there’s a concrete definition for balance, but we know that a huge part of it is self-love. We know that it involves honoring yourself as you take on that long list of To-Dos…or To-Don’ts. Because really, we shouldn’t be cultivating our twerk instead of writing that three-page response paper due in four hours—or should we? But, seriously—honor yourself in everything that you do. That means getting to know yourself, recognizing and voicing your limits, and knowing when to say no and when to say yes.

As a way to illustrate how we achieve and try to maintain balance, we’ve decided to share stories from our lives during graduate school, which basically never stops happening until it stops happening. Let us explain:

Aisha - Learning to Balance Graduate School and the Rest of My Life

I have to admit that learning to balance surviving graduate school with the rest of my life has been very difficult. At times I have felt completely overwhelmed – trapped “between a rock and a hard place” – by things like my homework, research, community involvement; and being a daughter, sister, friend, colleague, and girlfriend (whew, even that list was exhausting). I think that this year in particular my feelings of being overwhelmed have come to a head as I have really begun to feel like a fish out of water in this graduate school environment. I often find myself needing to sit down and regroup. When I do make the time to do this, I reflect upon a few lessons I have picked up along the way – and these things help to ground me.

1. Learn to Say No

One of the most useful lessons in balance that I have learned is to say no. As cliché as this sounds, for a person like me who can tend toward people-pleasing, it is very difficult to say no to tasks, especially ones I would enjoy if I wasn’t busy with other things. Often I would find myself looking at my calendar for the coming week and wondering how I committed to so many activities. I would push myself through that overbooked week, skipping out on sleep and self-care, and would end up regretting doing things that normally would have made me feel pretty good. Once I finally came to terms with the fact that this is what I was doing, I resolved (with some help from a trusted mentor) to just start saying no. As much as I want to be able to do everything and to help everyone, I have had to come to terms with the fact that this is not a real thing. I’ve had to learn self-preservation above all else. Don’t get me wrong though, saying no to people can be hard – but people who care about you will understand.

2. Celebrate Your Small Victories

Another lesson I’ve learned is the importance of celebrating small victories. Almost nothing I do in graduate school is something that can be started and completed in an hour, and that sometimes makes me feel completely unproductive. What I have begun to do is make my goals on my to-do list smaller. I’ve broken down bigger tasks into smaller tasks so that when the smaller tasks are finished I can celebrate them. This completely solved my issue of feeling unproductive. That in itself has been a huge victory for me.

Simone - Honoring How You Feel to Achieve the Balance You Deserve

Balancing is so damn hard to do sometimes, y’all. Often, I have to tell myself, “Simone, do not work on that assignment until you sit down for a bit. And yes, drink that glass of wine later.” As Aisha pointed out, graduate school can be exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. I used to think that a successful day in graduate school was all about quantity. However, between last semester and writing my intentions for the New Year, I discovered that a successful day is actually about improving your quality of life. It means that I do what I can without compromising or hurting myself. And of course, if I slip up and drink that glass of wine before noon, I know that I always have tomorrow. I think that honoring yourself is a beautiful process that will help you achieve the balance you deserve.

1. Establish a Daily Routine

Not too long ago, I used to sleep until I had only an hour and a half to be on campus. Sometimes, that meant skipping breakfast to get some extra sleep. Consequently, my energy levels were low and I had to force myself to check items off my To-Do list. That type of life became too tough for me to handle, so I decided to make some changes. Now, I give myself enough time to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, exercise, and do some personal reading and writing/prayer. This morning routine really helps me enjoy my day. I feel happy about going to school and work. I also feel energized all day long! Except today—I need a nap.

But, speaking of all day long, I often find that I have a lot of tasks and a bunch of deadlines. Just like you all, my friends want to drink wine all the time and my students want me to give them a detailed list of what they missed in class this morning, but, um, no. Similar to Aisha, for the sake of self-preservation, I’ve learned to say no to things I don’t want to do. And, I say it unapologetically.

You do not have to apologize or provide a reason for not doing something. Your time is your time, and you should be careful with it. Spend it doing things that you love and spend it in a way that will help you love and live life to the fullest!

2. Commit to Healthier Lifestyle Choices

In addition to prioritizing my time, I’ve learned to create a healthy lifestyle. For me, this means making sure that my personal life is in check. A few weeks ago, I fainted at the gym because I did not have enough water that morning. I learned my lesson as soon as I hit that floor! Eating/drinking well and enough has become really important to my life over the last few years. Eating/drinking well and enough not only keeps me on my feet in the weight room; this personal task helps me become the best Simone. You can bet that I have water and snacks with me at all times now!

3. Practice Gratitude

Lastly, Aisha mentioned the importance of celebrating small victories. I, too, have learned to tell myself, “Great job, girl!” I find that this pushes me to complete more tasks. Oh, after that nap, of course! I like celebrating my achievements, so I balance my life in a way that allows me to achieve the things I want and need at my own pace. I break my To-Do list into chunks so that I feel a lot more productive. Additionally, at night I thank the Creator for everything that I did and everything I didn’t do, and I journal about what made me feel good. Knowing that there are things to be thankful for and that I can feel good everyday motivates me to maintain balance. I think that it is the key to feeling and doing your best.

So, now that we’ve given you the scoop on how we twerk this high up, let us know what you do to achieve and maintain balance. What does a healthy/happy and productive day look like for you?

In the spirit of New Year’s resolutions and intentions, we want to invite you on our journey toward balance and self-love. To begin, try creating a new routine. Make a list of your limits and create boundaries. If you don’t want to talk about work at home, honor that. If you feel like you need some time to diddle your skittle or spend some time with your significant other, “Go ‘head, girl!” You’re the timekeeper.

Again, let us know how you’re performing that great balancing act! We’d love for you to share your secrets for staying grounded and getting to happy!

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About the Contributing Writers:

December 9, 2013
by The Phoenix Rising Collective 6 Comments

What About Your Friends? How to Develop Healthy, Positive Friendships

By now we’ve all probably heard the idea that our friends are a reflection of who we are. Whether we’ve heard how “birds of a feather flock together” or TLC’s old hit “What About Your Friends” – we’ve learned that friends come in many different varieties.

We’ve also learned that while some people are invaluable to our lives, others just aren’t good friends.

Navigating the highways and byways of friendship can be difficult, so we want to discuss how having healthy friendships play a role in maintaining a happy lifestyle.

“Are they gonna be low down?” - Some people just aren’t good friends.

If a person is negative, how is that a reflection of you? Can friendships that don’t last still be positive?

We’ve all been there, so let’s first discuss what not-so-positive friendships look like and how we can grow when in them and/or leave them. We believe that you have a choice of whether to stay in a friendship just like any other relationship. Of course making that type of decision requires a lot of self-evaluation. Any time you notice that something isn’t right in your friendship, you might consider looking inside yourself to find pieces of the problem. And once you identify the problem, give yourself permission to grow. Be a better friend and a better you.

Aisha’s Story: When I first moved to Pittsburgh, I quickly became friends with the woman who lived below me in my apartment building. We hung out almost every day and things went pretty well until she started acting weird. She was always a more pessimistic person, and at first her negativity seemed quirky, until it started to wear on me. It started off small. Then she began making negative comments about the people in my graduate program and how they made her feel inferior, and it continued to grow as she began binge drinking most nights of the week. Sadly, I kept hoping she was just going through a phase. I invited her to San Diego with me for spring break and she showed out! This girl was outright rude to my sister (who we were staying with) and me the whole time. She told me at one point that most of the new friends she was making were racists. By that point of the trip I was exhausted. Luckily, she decided to leave one morning; she had her flight moved up and also had a town car take her to the airport. When I got back to Pittsburgh she didn’t want to speak to me, and I was OK with that. That trip helped to end things swiftly. I’m glad I got out of that situation when I did. It was surely going downhill.

Simone’s Story: The last time I saw Francheska in person, she had short brown hair and a sad face. I wondered what made her think she had to be so sad all the time, because when she was happy she told me how much she enjoyed smiling. But, I knew what made Francheska sad; she thought that the man she was seeing owed her love. She had given him so much and he hadn’t noticed.

I know these things, not because Francheska told me, but because I experienced them, too. The idea that we attract what we are is a true statement. When you notice something in someone else it is because it may be a familiar pattern/experience in your own life. Our relationships are reflections of ourselves. However, I didn’t realize this connection while Francheska and I were best friends. I thought I was there only to help her, not myself as well. At times, I felt overwhelmed with her problems. She would call me at six o’clock in the morning, and though I did not hesitate to answer her calls, her sadness became a part of my life. I became sad when I talked to her. When we were together, I would frown so that we looked the same. When carrying her became too much, I talked to my Godmother and told her that I needed a break from Francheska because I hated the negativity—how it bounced between us and settled into me. My Godmother told me that it was probably best that I keep my distance for a while. However, each time I took a break from Francheska, she would find me and I’d be listening to her again. I had no idea that I was listening to myself.

Yes, you attract what you are. The same time Francheska and I were best friends, I was also seeing a man who I thought owed me love. I would become angry if he did not return my calls, because I returned his calls. I didn’t talk to Francheska about it too much, but the sadness was there and it came out when she opened her mouth; she was telling me that I was sad, too.

It wasn’t until this past summer that I realized the lesson that my former best friend was there to teach me: “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” Francheska showed me my own internal struggles and also taught me that I can choose to be happy.

I am very thankful for her. I am also very glad that I realized I deserve to surround myself with happy, positive energy. I did not sit down and tell Francheska that our friendship needed to end or that something needed to change. She sort of went her own direction, and she occasionally drifts back into my life. It is when I recognize her sadness on the other end of the telephone that I acknowledge that I need more moments with myself. However, when I hang up the phone, I leave the sadness with her and remember the power I have to choose happiness.

“Will they stand their ground?” Positive Friendships

Just what is a good friend? How do you know when someone is a good friend?

Aisha: I’m really close with my family. My mom, sister, and brother are all like close friends. When I think of a best friend, I think of people outside of my family who provide me with the same kind of support and love that my family does.

With that said, I met my best friend Asheley in my 8^th grade health class. I sat down next to her and asked if she wanted to be friends. She kindly told me, “you’re weird,” to which I agreed, and we’ve been best friends ever since. Asheley and I have only ever had one argument (because she thought I didn’t call her early enough in the morning on her 16^th birthday). I think that we have managed to make our friendship last so long because we really have a deep understanding and respect for each other as individuals with different personalities.

Asheley has always accepted me just as I am. Once a group of our friends was giving me a hard time for using a “big word” and she jumped to my defense saying, “That’s just how Isha talks! She thinks in big words!” Over the last 12 years Asheley has become a part of my family. We laugh and cry together. She pushes me to be a better person and is always there to bring me back down to earth if I stray too far. I’ve watched her grow from the girl who I split 10 dollars of junk food from the corner store with into a strong single-mother who loves her son fiercely and works every day to make their life better.

Aside from Asheley, I have a lot of other sister-friends who make my life better just by them being in it:

Support System. Simone and Starla are my support system through our group chats. If I need advice on men, fashion, food, or just want to share pictures of our pets, they are there.

Inspiration. Belinda and Cherrell, I adore greatly. They can make anything happen (they basically make all of their dreams come true) and emanate good energy that is contagious!

Strong Connection. Chrysten, Taylor, and Tera are my long-distance sister-friends. Since we’ve all left college we live far away but have worked on keeping in contact actively.

Positive Reinforcement. Lastly, the fabulous women I’ve made friends with in my graduate cohort, Liz and Hillary, have really gotten me through the last year and a half. I don’t think I could have survived this transition into a PhD program without them. We pull all-night study sessions, text, and e-mail each other all day long, and we also talk one another off numerous academic cliffs.

I love all of my friends, and maintaining friendships is at the top of my priority list.

Simone: I tell people all the time that my younger sister, Brittani, is my soul mate. We have such a strong connection—something I can’t explain here. It makes me so happy that I can call her my sister and best friend. Although she is only twenty-one, she is so wise and tells me what I need to hear. I just love my little button-bear-cupcake-sweet! We talk to each other about everything. And when I say everything, I mean there are things I’ve told her that she can’t repeat to God.

In addition to Brittani, I have so many people in my life that make it wonderful:

Good Advice. My group chats with Starla and Aisha help me through the day. We are always laughing and giving one another advice about school, men, and wine.

Spiritual Network. Kenton and Goyland are my friends in prayer. I met these two when I moved to Kansas, and though this was just last year, I can’t imagine my life without our late night runs to Sonic and our prayer/talk/laugh sessions before Scandal.

Happiness. Lanisha is always so happy and never hesitates to share her happiness with me.

Commonalities. Funmi is my Scorpio sister! Our iMessages are basically screenshots of our daily horoscopes and a back and forth of “Girl, this is sooooo true!”

Love. Yewande, my Coffee Pot, is a big-hearted fashionista who keeps me laughing with statements like, “Simone! I look like death warmed over. You can’t see me like this!”

So, what makes a positive friendship?

Being supportive: Support your friends no matter the cause. Okay, we’re going to limit the cause when it comes to twerking and dancing on tables. But, be sure you are supporting the dreams and goals that keep your friends happy and healthy!
Honesty: If something is bothering you, tell your friend. This includes anything that has to do with the friendship, as well as things that you are dealing with emotionally.
Respect: Well, you all know what this looks like. Treat your friends how you want to be treated.
Constructive Criticism: Friendships help you grow. Don’t be afraid to offer advice. We are all working on creating ourselves, and we know that we need advice and suggestions from friends in addition to the conversations we have with ourselves. Additionally, our friends can teach us something about ourselves, so be open to hearing what they have to say.
Openness: This includes honesty as well as the willingness to share and try new things. Have fun with your friends! What’s the point of having someone as a friend if you can’t share or do crazy things with each other?!

What does a positive friendship look like to you? Let us know!

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September 26, 2013
by The Phoenix Rising Collective 1 Comment

8 Life Lessons Our Pets Teach Us about Happiness, Joy, and Living in the Moment

You wouldn’t think that we’d have time to take care of pets with all the shopping, studying, juicing, and diddling. Well, we do! This month, we’d like to share a little about our dear pets and how they’ve impacted our lives.

Aisha and Napoleon

Napoleon is a five-year old, 26-pound, Cockapoo (Cocker Spaniel/Poodle Mix). Some of Napoleon’s favorite activities include playing tug with his toys, barking at other dogs at the dog park, and traveling. He has a fairly good temperament and loves interacting with people. His most recent accomplishments include flying across the country, learning to roll over, and running through a dog tunnel. Napoleon has very high energy levels and entertains himself for the most part. I would best sum up Napoleon’s personality in the words of his veterinary technician, “He kind of gives off a vibe like he’s not all there all the time, but he’s so darn cute!”

Napoleon came into my life in 2010 when I adopted him from the humane society in Athens, Ohio. When I first got him, I was suffering from depression. Having a dog to make me get up in the morning for walks had a major impact on my life, and taking care of him on a day-to-day basis gave my life a greater sense of purpose which was lacking in the height of my depression. Napoleon brightens each day from the moment he wakes up until we lay down in bed together at night.

Having a dog is a great way to increase activity in your everyday life. Dogs also have a unique way of picking up on and responding to the emotions we display. If you are sad, a dog will attempt to cheer you up. If you are anxious, a dog will attempt to calm you. If you are happy, a dog will mirror that happiness with lots of good energy and love. Dogs - like all other pets - require time, commitment, and attention. A dog is truly the type of pet that will give you reciprocity if you seek it. Additionally, you can meet lots of cool people at dog parks, who also love dogs.

A few life lessons I’ve learned in the last three years that I’ve had the honor of living with him:

Take a Break. Napoleon is very insistent that I take regular breaks from whatever task I’m entangled in. If I’m reading or writing for too long, he will interrupt me and demand my attention. Learning to take a break has been important for me because breaks allow me to regenerate my energy to finish tasks.

Trust the Unknown. Napoleon and I spent the summer in San Diego. One of the things we did there was go to the dog beach. I had never taken him to the dog park or any other space where he could interact with other dogs off his leash. When we arrived at the dog park I was absolutely terrified to let him loose. Finally, another person at the dog beach encouraged me by saying “Trust your dog; let him loose so he can have fun.” Once I finally took Napoleon off his leash he ran around, chased other dogs, and barked to his heart’s content. We had such a great time. I have never seen him so happy. I’m glad I learned to trust in the unknown.

Laugh Often and for (Almost) No Reason. My dog has also taught me to laugh often. His personality keeps me laughing, especially when I’m feeling down. He does the silliest things like burying chew toys in my bed (that I find when I lay down for bed), stealing my socks, and very insistently handing me his paw until I take it to “shake hands.” Learning to laugh on a regular basis has helped me cope with stress.

Feel Free to be Me. Napoleon is shamelessly himself. I adore this about him and I actively strive to be more like him in this regard. On a daily basis he isn’t worried about what people think about him or how he looks. Sometimes he has hair days where his mustache and beard don’t agree, but he doesn’t let that phase him. I have learned to accept myself in the same way, and this has been an invaluable life lesson.

Simone and Ice T

Ice T, my Siamese Mix, is between 3 to 6 years old (according to the animal shelter where I adopted him). When I am not home, he enjoys pulling down books from my bookshelf and staring at our neighbors through the living room window. Ice T also enjoys lounging on top of the kitchen cabinets and in our bed. When he hears anyone come in, he quickly runs to the front door to greet them with a rub against their legs and a very loud purr. And I can’t forget that he also loves drooling on my visitors and me. (Ew!) I have come to believe that his drooling is a sign of affection. Ice T is a very sweet and loving cat that loves to cuddle, especially when I am writing or watching TV. Imagine a fifteen-pound cat lying against your arm as you’re typing.

I found Ice at a shelter in Kansas a few months after I settled into my new apartment. He was the first cat I saw, mainly because he was trying to escape and ended up getting one of his nails stuck in his cage. Of course, I helped him, and we fell in love. I named him Ice T because 1) his coat reminds me of iced tea and 2) I LOVE Ice-T, the rapper/actor. Ice T isn’t quite as funny as his namesake, but he does make life just as fun.

I decided to adopt a cat because I love animals and wanted some company in my new home. Sometimes living on your own can get a bit lonely, but you can never truly be lonely when you have a handsome fur ball like Ice T grunting at you all day for interrupting his sleep or because he wants to cuddle. Additionally, similarly to dogs, cats are very intuitive. They know when you’re sad or anxious, and will do what they can to help you feel better. “Here’s some drool, Mommy. Are you okay, now?” And when you need a good laugh, sprinkle some catnip on his scratching post, and watch him roll around in bliss. These moments with Ice T remind me that life is supposed to be full of laughs and love.

There are four life lessons that Ice T continues to teach me as I care for him:

Love every single day. There’s this thing about Ice T that makes me slow down. There are days when I get caught up in my work and don’t realize that I haven’t taken the time to love. It is Ice T who reminds me that you shouldn’t go a day without wrapping your arms around someone. And when I am overwhelmed or frustrated, he reminds me that love is always here and will heal me. He places his paw on my wrist to let me know it’s time to stop working and to breathe. When I cuddle with Ice T, I seriously feel love creeping back into my soul. And when he is feeling down or stressed, he cries out for me. I scoop him up in my arms and give him kisses until he starts purring. These moments teach me that it is okay to cry and it is also okay to want someone to hold you until you’re in love again.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be around someone. One minute Ice T is meowing like crazy and the next he’s lying right next to me, asleep. When that’s not happening, his little contorted body is lying against my thigh as I’m writing. I know that he just wants to be next to me. Sometimes, people say that I’m weird when I call or text just to say “hello” or want to visit just to be in their company. I wondered if I should stop, but Ice T lets me know that wanting to be around someone is okay. If you enjoy someone’s energy, why not throw your body across his or her lap and purr?

Resilience. A few months after I adopted Ice T, he gained a few pounds (Oops!), and his collar began to rub into his neck. I didn’t notice it for a while because his hair and the collar covered his wound. Meanwhile, he would still do his normal cuddle-drool-sleep-on-the-cabinets routine. He never stopped greeting people at the door or running around the apartment. But, one day he came up to me and lifted his head back. I was shocked and totally disgusted by what I saw, but I was also intrigued by Ice T’s ability to continue to live his life and love others despite having such an injury. His strength and his ability to bounce back after surgery has really helped me through my first year of PhD school. I’ve been hurt a few times during this process, but Ice T has taught me that nothing should stop me from smiling, or you know, leaping from counter to cabinet. We take leaps no matter what in the Savannah household!

Forgiveness. Yes, Ice T is a sweet kitty, but sometimes he gets on my nerves! When I’m trying to sleep or eat, here comes my fifteen-pound cat meowing or trying to smell my food. Irritated, sometimes I yell at him or give him a side eye. He usually grunts and walks away, but he’s never gone for long. Within minutes he’s back to cuddle and drool on me. I was watching Oprah interview Deepak Chopra on OWN a few weeks ago, and he said he has no one to forgive. Powerful. I immediately thought of Ice T. It’s like he doesn’t remember or care that I was annoyed with him. He continues to love. And that’s how I want to be. I don’t want to dwell on any hurt inflicted upon me by someone else or myself; I don’t want to have anyone to forgive.

I wish everyone had an Ice T to come home to. He’s such a sweet cat that offers so much to the world. I am a better person because of him and his drool.

Through our experiences with Ice T and Napoleon, we’ve learned that pets can improve your quality of life. Animals are very resilient and can teach many life lessons, such as how not to eat too fast because you might throw up in the middle of the living room floor. Or to get out of bed on time or someone will pee on you.

Do you all have any pets? What have they taught you about life? We’d like to hear about it.

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About the Contributing Writers:

Aisha + Simone are the Life + Style contributors for the Phoenix Rising Collective; continue supporting their posts on the importance of letting who you are shine through when it comes to self-care and defining your personal style. Here are more of their how-tos, anecdotes, and words of inspiration.

July 8, 2013
by The Phoenix Rising Collective Leave a comment

“Summer, Summer, Summertime” Style Trends: Wearing What Makes You Feel Beautiful

Photo Credit: contemporary closet design by Miami architect Weber Design Group, Inc.

Sometimes it feels like we wait until summer to break the monotony of everyday life. It’s a season filled with vacations, barbecues, family reunions, weddings, pool parties, and different efforts to balance outdoor activities with staying cool.

One thing’s certain; the hot weather shouldn’t stop you from looking good, enjoying your own body, and adorning it with your favorite styles. Whether you’re working, sitting back and unwinding, or driving “two miles an hour so everybody sees you” – there are a ton of summertime styles to delve into. This month we want to share some of our personal must-haves with you!

Prints! Prints! And More Prints!

This is the perfect season to show off your colorful prints. Right now, you can find shirts, shorts, pants, leggings, dresses, and shoes in a multitude of them. Whether you shop at your local thrift stores (like we often do) or at high-end boutiques, prints are everywhere! Trending this summer? Tribal, floral, and animal prints. Here’s a great example on Funmi (below); she’s wearing a beautiful mint green sundress with pale pink and yellow floral print for those casual summer days on the go!

Not your Mama’s Shorts… or are They?

High-waisted shorts are here to stay! They first hit the scene in the 40s, came back in the 80s, and now they’re here today, so it’s safe to say two things: (1) fashion almost always becomes fashionable again, and (2) high-waisted shorts are awesome.

Aisha’s favorite high-waisted shorts are actually her mom’s shorts from the 90s. But whether you inherit them from your mama, thrift them (most likely they once belonged to someone else’s mama), or you buy them new from a store you love, you’re going to look stylish with a pair of them on.

Crop Tops

Show your tummy some sunny loving and wear a crop top! One on-trend summer look that we enjoy involves a crop top and high-waisted shorts or a maxi skirt. Bandeau tops also create fun styles, as they can be worn by themselves, under tank tops, or sheer tops with any kind of bottom.

Maxi Skirts and Dresses

Our other faves? Maxi skirts and dresses, of course. Maxi skirts and dresses allow you to feel fully covered while also helping you keep cool in lighter fabric. You can pair your maxi skirt with an easy, breezy summer shirt and throw on a pair of cute sandals or heels! And if you like maxi skirts/dresses and really love bold colors, you can wear something like Funmi’s strapless, cobalt blue maxi dress shown below:

Body Positivity

Whatever style trends you choose to embrace this summer, make sure that…

You feel good about what you’re wearing.

You know or are getting to know your own personal style. Like everything, style is also about knowing yourself, so find out what you like by experimenting with different looks. Additionally, it is nice to consult with friends about those highlighter green cut-off shorts you want to buy, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who will be wearing them. Your life is not an episode of What Not to Wear.

You make your own rules. Don’t let anybody dictate what you wear because it doesn’t “look good” on your body type. Wear what makes you feel beautiful and comfortable. Yes, throw on that crop top no matter how big or small your belly. We’re not out here sporting our crop tops and bustiers with six packs and flat bellies. And as one of our Twitter followers @awkward_duck says, “you will deal!”

You are physically comfortable. “Booty” shorts are nice, but make sure you can breathe in them!

You create trends. We know that YOU know what looks good! Visit your local thrift store or your mom’s closet so that you’re not spending too much money trying to become a fashionista!

The most important thing to remember about dressing for summer is: Do YOU! And remember that it is HOT, so give the sun a run for her money!

Other top picks for Simone: bright cut-off shorts; maxi dresses; crop tanks; and floral bustiers. Simone found her favorite flowy print skirt at a local thrift store, and we guess you can say it has ALL the prints!

Other top style picks for Aisha: tribal print crop tops and patterned pants

Oh, one more thing! Check out our friend, Tareya; owner of the virtual clothing boutique The Vault Vintage. She has some great merchandise at amazing prices! You can also follow The Vault Vintage on Instagram and Twitter for updates on new items.

We’d love to hear what’s in your closet this summer!

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Aisha Upton is a first year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests: Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance.

Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably.

May 30, 2013
by The Phoenix Rising Collective 3 Comments

Coconut Oil, Self-Loving, and Healthy Sexual Relationships

Besides the joyous feeling we get after completing an assignment or grading forty students’ papers, graduate school leaves very little time for feeling good, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t make the time. We realize that loving ourselves is about creating balance and finding time for touch. Yes, we’re talking about sex. We’re talking about creating time and space to touch others and ourselves. We are talking about finding out what we like and might like when it comes to our bodies. Now, we’re not telling you to skip work or neglect your responsibilities; however, we do want you to make this type of loving a part of your busy schedule. Make it a part of your life.

Before you leave the shower or after you get home from volunteering, reach inside yourself or massage your skin with oil to find out who you are. Get into you; make a relationship out of it. Self-loving is about knowing yourself, then about using that knowledge to build those outside relationships that we all know and love.

So, let’s talk about the sex we’re having, not having, or would like to have! We’ve decided to compile some tips and questions for creating healthy sexual relationships with others and ourselves. Before we get into the tips and questions, we would like to tell you why it is important to be in tune with your body by sharing our own personal stories.

Simone

Cut to a cold spring semester. Until recently, the maintenance man has been the only man in my apartment, and he has come only to fix the drought that my kitchen faucet experiences from time to time. What about my kitchen sink, Mr. Maintenance Man? Moving to Kansas in July 2012 meant that I would be leaving behind some special people, and that I would have to find new options for sexual pleasure. Now, I have always been okay with diddling my own skittle. Spending time with myself and discovering new things about my body makes me happy. An entire spring semester with myself has given me the courage to continue to awaken my body through my own physical and spiritual movements and touches. I have spent time in the mirror getting to know more about my body and how it works. “Oh, didn’t know I had a mole there. How pretty! Oooh, that’s the spot!” I’ve learned that my sexless life is not so bad when I’m using what I already have to get what I want. However, I like when someone else touches me, too.

I find sex to be a healthy, liberating experience. Though I am able to recharge my body and spirit through masturbation, I admit that there is an energy that I cannot recreate on my own. For me, touching someone else and being touched by someone else sends a colorful, electric shock through my body that often saves me from running to my local grocery and buying all the chocolate ice cream that I can fit into a little green basket. Though it was a fruitful, peaceful period in my life, four months without sex was a little frustrating at times. So, I was delighted when someone else—a very special someone else—walked through my front door. I had the opportunity to combine my energy with someone else’s, and to use that energy in my personal time. The experience did not replace my self-loving moments, but it did add to them, and recharged me in a way that I wanted to be recharged. Thank you, Mr. Not Maintenance Man.

For me, remaining in touch with myself is about balance. I know that I have the power to be alone without being lonely, as well as the courage to achieve an orgasm without the help or presence of a man. Cue Kirko Bangz: “She want a man, don’t need a man.” And I also know that I enjoy someone else’s company when my silver bullet isn’t enough. Getting to know myself through masturbation and interactions with others gives me the power to love myself. And loving myself means being honest about how I feel and how I want to feel.

Aisha

I’ve been single since 2009. I know that sounds like a long time, but before we cue Ne-Yo’s So Sick – I have to say that it hasn’t been that bad. In the meantime, I’ve attained a Bachelors, Masters, and started a PhD program, so I guess it’s safe to say that I’ve invested my energy elsewhere. As much as I’d love to be in love and dating someone seriously, I’m not rushing fate. Also, being out of a relationship doesn’t mean I haven’t had sex, or established a relationship with my own body. Of course I have! And honestly, those things have enabled me to stay the course, stay focused, and combat some stress!

Like Simone, I find sex to be a healthy and liberating experience, and I believe that remaining in touch with my sexual self is all about balance. Though striking a balance can be difficult, it is doable. For me, this is really all about forming healthy sexual relationships with whoever is my partner, and with myself. I have had healthy sexual relationships where I’ve felt a sense of reciprocity from my partner, and felt that he respected my overall personhood, my body, and me. It should feel energizing, stress-free, and fun, and that requires an immense amount of honesty and trust, as I don’t trust my body to just anybody (and I’m picky, and I don’t typically like tall guys, and I prefer facial hair, etc.)

I have, however, also tried abstaining from sex completely three times over the last four years, and that just meant not having sex with another person until I felt like I was physically and emotionally ready to form another healthy sexual relationship. I’m currently in one of these phases right now. In these times, as well as when I’ve not been involved with anyone, I still have myself. Learning to find peace in just having myself has been a great life lesson. Finding peace with me is a powerful feeling. Finding peace with going to bed and waking up alone, and finding pleasure in just me requires the utmost amount of honesty, because it’s hard to lie to myself.

1. Get Into Yourself: Self-Loving

Be alone often. People often confuse being alone with being lonely. However, we know that being alone encourages us to be less dependent on someone else for sexual pleasure. And when someone else does not please us, we don’t get angry; we put our pants back on, and do it ourselves.

Experiment with toys, your fingers, or watch something by yourself that you know or think will get your juices flowing. Experimenting on our own empowers us to try new things without judgment. Also, experimenting on your own encourages you to be in tune with your own body. That means looking at and touching your physical self, and also loving how you look and feel. This, indeed, will help you cultivate a positive self-image, and also foster a sense of self that you’ll want to share with others…or even keep to yourself.

Write about what you love. Toni Morrison stated, “If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, you must be the one to write it.” Make lists or journal entries about what makes you feel good or how you’d like to feel, and refer back to them often. Your own words may encourage you to spend more private time with yourself and others. We’d like to think that writing about what you want and feel encourages (sexual) freedom.

Talk with your friends. We recently read an article: True Friends Ask How the Sex Is. We talk to each other and our other friends about sex all the time. Sometimes, we talk in detail about our sexual experiences in order to support or advise each other in our sexual ventures. Talking to your friends about sex and self-loving may encourage you to be more open about the private time with yourself as well as the private time you have with others.

2. Create Healthy Sexual Relationships:

If you do want to engage in sexual activities with other people (or if you just want to share your coconut oil experience with another), keep in mind that fostering healthy sexual relationships can increase your satisfaction. A sexual relationship, like any other relationship, is healthiest when all of the people involved are honest and open about their wants and needs.

Maintaining an open line of communication with your sexual partner(s) can help to increase your overall sexual satisfaction. Whether you are communicating with your partner(s) about your fantasies or distinguishing between things you enjoy and things you could live without, healthy communication is key. If you want to bring in the coconut oil, sit your partner down and tell them that you read this post and learned that coconut oil would be a natural alternative to your previous lubrication techniques!

And remember, be with someone who appreciates your body just as much we know you do. Believe us when we say that it makes sex so much better! Being with someone who is in love with your body will help you to maintain a positive self-image and a healthy sex life.

3. Grab Some Coconut Oil

Oh, you thought we forgot about the coconut oil? Of course not! As we continue our journey toward natural living, we’ve discovered that this cooking, skin, and hair-care product is also perfect for the bedroom. You can use coconut oil as a natural lubricant. What? Yes! And get this: it can balance your ph. So, go ahead and introduce some organic coconut oil to your intimate moments.

So, Some Advice and Sample Questions…

Safe sex. Know yourself and your limits. Additionally, invest in some toy cleaner and/or condoms for your sex toys, whips, and chains! You’ll want to keep those instruments clean in order to protect yourself from bacterial infections. And don’t forget to use some form of contraception/condoms when engaging in sex with other people. Your body is your temple. Wrap it up, you sensual lover, you!

Research! The Internet and library aren’t reserved only for class or that all-nighter (well, wait). Explore the “dark” sides of the Internet (there are tons!) and check out a Zane book for your private time.

Become in tune with your body. Really create the time and space for your self. Being in tune with yourself makes moments with others so much more powerful and fulfilling. We are more confident and courageous in the bedroom as well as in other parts of our lives.

Love what you like. Be open to new experiences; however, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re weird for…well, whatever you like.

Know that sex is great. An orgasm a day gets those projects done and out of the way!

Again, communicate with your partner(s). Ask them questions and get to know them, too. Do you like this? Do you like that? Would you like to have sex with me? Do you like coconut oil, too?

Remember that consent is sexy. Always get consent. And don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to do.

There is no one right way to have sex or get to know yourself. Explore and do what makes you feel good! Our best advice: Have sex with whomever you want (including yourself), wherever you want, however you want, as long as it’s consensual!

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We think, feel, and act on our vibes without question or hesitation. -Sonia Choquette

Learning About Vibes: Aisha’s Story

The Importance of Sleep – Wait, What is that Anyway?

Paying Attention to What Goes In - Eating Better

The Power of Words

Your sixth sense is really your first sense. -Sonia Choquette

Trusting My Vibes: Simone’s Story

Live in the Moment + Expect the Very Best from the Universe

Four Ways To Honor/Tap Into Your Intuition

Recommended Resources:

About the Contributing Writers:

Aisha’s Mother - “My Mommy is the Best Mother of All Time”

Aisha’s Sister - “Having a Little Sister to Play with was Pretty Awesome, Too!”

Simone’s Mother - “I Did Not Recognize My Mother’s Light Until She Passed Away”

Simone’s Sister - “Brittani is One of My Best Friends”

Below we’ve compiled 10 simple ways to honor and celebrate the women in your own life:

About the Contributing Writers:

Aisha - Learning to Balance Graduate School and the Rest of My Life

1. Learn to Say No

2. Celebrate Your Small Victories

Simone - Honoring How You Feel to Achieve the Balance You Deserve

1. Establish a Daily Routine

2. Commit to Healthier Lifestyle Choices

3. Practice Gratitude

About the Contributing Writers:

“Are they gonna be low down?” - Some people just aren’t good friends.

“Will they stand their ground?” Positive Friendships

So, what makes a positive friendship?

Aisha and Napoleon

A few life lessons I’ve learned in the last three years that I’ve had the honor of living with him:

Simone and Ice T

There are four life lessons that Ice T continues to teach me as I care for him:

About the Contributing Writers:

Prints! Prints! And More Prints!

Not your Mama’s Shorts… or are They?

Crop Tops

Maxi Skirts and Dresses

Body Positivity

Simone

Aisha

1. Get Into Yourself: Self-Loving

2. Create Healthy Sexual Relationships:

3. Grab Some Coconut Oil

So, Some Advice and Sample Questions…

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