The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action

Tag Archives: well-being


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Phoenix Book Pick: Coping with Anxiety

This is a right-on-time Phoenix Book Pick, wouldn’t you say? Anxiety usually rears its ugly (and very challenging) head when feeling uncertainty. It can be overwhelming to say the least, so what’s imperative is finding healthy ways to take care of yourself while navigating the unfamiliar.

Coping with Anxiety: 10 Simple Ways to Relieve Anxiety, Fear and Worry by Dr. Edmund Bourne and Lorna Garano is an easy and informative read. It’s the kind of book that becomes a go-to resource when you need a how-to reminder. Coping with Anxiety shares the various types of anxieties, and it’s eye-opening for understanding and identifying where you might fit on the spectrum; however, what’s most refreshing is the focus on practical everyday strategies that can easily fit into your daily routine. The “aim is to provide you with an array of simple tools to help you find greater calm and stability in the midst of complex, even chaotic times.”

Each chapter (10, of course) is dedicated to a strategy: Relax Your Body. Relax Your Mind. Think Realistically. Face Your Fears, etc. Chapter One, Relax Your Body, for example, talks about how anxiety manifests itself in the physical body and what to do about it, giving simple, straight-forward coping practices like cue-controlled relaxation and abdominal breathing.

One of my favorite chapters is the last, Chapter 10, Cope on the Spot. It’s all about leaning into anxiety, recognizing when it appears and accepting that it’s present. “Acceptance of anxiety symptoms is the key. By cultivating an attitude of acceptance in the face of anxiety, you allow it to move through and pass.” Some of the suggested techniques to move through what you’re feeling include talking to a supportive friend, staying in the present, and creating coping statements and affirmations.

I also appreciate that the book discusses community care, emphasizing how important it is to connect to something outside yourself for a sense of security and stability. Fostering a connection with others (through a worthy cause/organization, nature, God/Higher Power, etc) can create a greater sense of peace in your life – something we all deserve.

Anxiety is very much real and can often be debilitating. Coping with Anxiety provides the support needed to embrace and consistently practice strategies that work best for you and that offer both short and long-term relief.

If you decide to get this Phoenix Book Pick be sure to let me know what you think. I’d love to hear about the techniques that helped you.

Ayanna Jordan is founder of The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is a personal development coach creating and facilitating dynamic women-centered, self-care workshops with a focus on how putting self-love into action can transform your life. She also creates training programs and group coaching that empowers women’s professional growth in authentic leadership, entrepreneurship, and passion-filled work. Her interactive, holistic approach inspires action and creates a non-judgmental, safe and supportive space for women to truly explore and affirm who they are, what they want and how they want to do it.


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Quick, Simple Self-Care Practices to Ease Your Overwhelm

We’re currently in uncharted water, and it’s OK to feel overwhelmed when there’s a lack of certainty. Acknowledge and accept what you’re feeling. We can’t heal what we don’t accept, so let the emotions move through you, and then release them.

HOW-TO/PRACTICE:

Find a quiet place to center yourself, and then relax your body by breathing deeply; on the exhale, release any tension in your arms, hands, legs, feet, shoulders, back, neck, etc. Imagine whatever you’re feeling dissolving with each breath. Do this at least 10-20 minutes daily. This will relieve anxiety and tension held in your body.

If you need more support in your practice, I highly recommend Meditation Minis with Chel Hamilton, a meditation podcast for anxiety, stress and sleep. (FYI: Her voice is very soothing! Get ready to feel very relaxed.) Start with this episode: Calm + Be + Ease (No matter how anxious it all seems).

Journaling helps, too. Dump those feelings on paper to clear your mind; it is an intentionally calming way to disrupt worry and to also decipher facts from negative self-talk that creeps in, especially during anxiousness. End your mindful writing with gratitude. Jot down at least one thing you’re grateful for in your life. Observe how you feel emotionally and physically when you’ve finished journaling: Has a weight been lifted? Is your mind clearer? What did you learn about yourself during the process?

AFFIRMATIONS DO WORK: 

You know how much I love affirmations, so any time I can share them with you I will. They are (as I’ve mentioned in other posts) positive words of empowerment that when consistently spoken, shift your perspective, lift your spirit, and change your mind. Words are powerful. What you say to and about yourself matters. Affirmations help you stay mindful about the words you choose, keeping the focus on what you want for your life rather than what you don’t want. It’s also best to write them in present tense, as if what you’re affirming is already happening.

Tip: Try writing your own while journaling, and then put the ones that really resonate with you (your top three) on index cards or Post-It Notes so they’re readily available. I have a couple posted on my bathroom vanity; I read them while getting ready in the morning.

Below are three I created for you to support curbing anxiety and diminishing overwhelm:

  1. Anxiety – I acknowledge and accept what I’m feeling; I know that it will pass in time.
  2. Self-Acceptance – I love and accept myself in this present moment. Healing permeates my mind and body.
  3. Worry – I let go of worrying about the outcome and move forward with courage, gratitude, and wisdom.

It’s all about building your self-care tool kit, finding and consistently utilizing healthy practices that work best for your well being, practices that will help you work through what you’re feeling and cultivate peace.

Be well. Stay safe.

Ayanna Jordan is founder of The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is a personal development coach creating and facilitating dynamic women-centered, self-care workshops with a focus on how putting self-love into action can transform your life. She also creates training programs and group coaching that empowers women’s professional growth in authentic leadership, entrepreneurship, and passion-filled work. Her interactive, holistic approach inspires action and creates a non-judgmental, safe and supportive space for women to truly explore and affirm who they are, what they want and how they want to do it.


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Phoenix Book Pick: An Invitation to Self-Care

 

Here’s my Phoenix Book Pick. It’s An Invitation to Self-Care: Why learning to nurture yourself is the key to the life you’ve always wanted by Tracey Cleantis.

Self-care and self-love are big buzz words right now. I feel like you can’t read anything about wellness and whole living without seeing these two words; one almost always follows the other. Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s a good thing. It means there’s a shift happening, a deeper, more conscious realization that in order to lead fuller and more meaningful lives we HAVE to take better care of ourselves. I mean it’s a significant part of what I share with you every day, and it’s also why I created I Thrive.

The challenge is diving in to understand what it truly means, and moreso HOW to do it — cultivating a level of self-care and love that supports who you are. Let’s be real. It ain’t just candles, wine and spa treatments! In fact, the introduction explores this:

The self-care advice and examples always seemed simplistic and superficial: Keep a journal. Take a yoga class. Light a candle. Lovely ideas. But really, how impactful is that candle in the face of a life filled with the daily ordinary and extraordinary challenges and stresses that we all endure?…Herbal teas, massages, pedicures…and, more recently, memory improvement apps and meditation podcasts — all of these promise to ease our stress, tame our tensions, or widen our bandwidths, but in the long run, they don’t – not really. Used on their own, they’re the equivalent of self-care Band-Aids: they hold us together and treat the pain for now, but they don’t get to the heart of the matter.

An Invitation to Self-Care talks about the myths (basically what self-care isn’t), helps you identify how you might be in your own way (self-sabotage, self-harm, self-hatred), and gives practical tools, tips and principles that support nurturing and loving who you are. It’s worth reading. If this is any indication, I’ve gifted the book twice already!

Happy reading. Be self-love in action.

 

Read this book already? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments or your suggestions on other books for the Phoenix Book Pick.

Ayanna Jordan is founder of The Phoenix Rising Collective. As principal consultant and leadership development trainer and coach, she develops and facilitates dynamic women-centered workshops with a focus on how putting self-love into action can transform your life. She also creates coaching seminars and training that support women’s professional growth in authentic leadership, entrepreneurship, and passion-filled work. Her interactive approach inspires action and creates a non-judgmental, sacred space for women to truly explore their personal and professional goals while gaining support and sisterhood from others who’ve also made a commitment to sustaining self-love.

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It’s OK to Take Time for You: Your Well-Being Matters

HealthyWellBeing[The Phoenix Rising Collective]

Wow! Can you believe summer is over? I simply cannot believe how fast it has gone by and that I’m nine months into contributing to The Phoenix Rising Collective. The PRC is inspiring, empowering, and calming, so I hope that my articles have inspired you to incorporate health and wellness into your life resulting in a calm and healthy mind, body and soul.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to present at The PRC’s The Fullness of Me workshop. I enjoyed meeting and getting everyone up and MOVING! We had a blast, and I mentioned to the group that physical well-being is directly related to our mental well-being. My goal is to empower all of the workshop attendees and our readers to incorporate movement into their lives. I love it; I really truly do.

I shared two things with the group: 1) I grew up around fitness. I tagged along was dragged along to aerobics classes, gyms and seminars as a kid. As a very young child, my cousin and I would help her mom (my super fitness aunt) lead her classes. And 2) I am a busy working mom of three young children (10, 8, and 5) with an equally demanding husband, and I’m working on a master’s degree. My objective in sharing these “Megan Facts” is to motivate you to move to show your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, students, etc. how important it is to be healthy and how to be physically and mentally fit.

Yes, this means leaving the kiddos for an hour in the evening, making the husband or significant other fend for themselves, leaving work on time, or letting the laundry and dusting pile up, but it is well worth the hour of freedom. You will come back refreshed, and you’ll have taught the little ones and others you love in your life that your physical well-being matters.

The reason for telling you about my children, husband and job is that I AM BUSY – so busy, crazy busy, I-want-to-scream-and-run-and-hide busy. I have three children in three different sports plus my girls are in dance classes. My husband works evenings and I manage a global program during the day, BUT I make time for myself and my body. It is my time and I don’t feel guilty about it. We’re all busy in some way, but please make time for your health now; otherwise, you will spend the latter part of your life being busy with doctor’s appointments.

How to Make Time

Remember every movement counts. You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars per month on a gym membership or equipment. Our body weight is a wonderful tool and will strengthen you and give you the resistance you need.

You can incorporate just 10 minutes a day of anaerobic exercise into your life a few times a week or a 30 to 45-minute workout two days a week and achieve wonderful results and increased energy.

Walk up and down the steps in your house. Grab a chair and sit down and then stand up, repeat. While you’re in the kitchen waiting for the microwave, place your hands on the counter and do push-ups; jog in place while your kids are asking their millions of questions. Break out into Zumba when your favorite song comes on Pandora. While you’re reading, work on stretching. During commercial breaks, do jumping jacks, jump squats, squat walks, bear crawls, lunges, high knees, fast feet. Do something to get the blood flowing.

 

I hope I have encouraged you to incorporate movement into your life; I hope I have empowered you to know that YOU CAN DO THIS with whatever time or money you have. It will bring peace and calm to your mind, body and spirit.

In health and happiness,

Megan

 

About the Contributing Writer:

Megan_Weidner[PRC Health Contributor]Megan Weidner is a fitness coach and environmentalist in the Akron/Canton, Ohio area. She manages a global sustainability and corporate responsibility program for a large multinational company; her areas include environmental compliance, social equity, community engagement and health and wellness. Megan is also devoted to Rock. It. Fitness., her fitness and natural skincare business. She is committed to making the world a better, more environmentally friendly and healthier place through motivation and education. She is certified through AFAA and Tabata Bootcamp.  She has a B.S. in Soil, Environmental, and Atmospheric Science (University of Missouri), a Graduate Certificate in Environmental Management and Policy (University of Denver) and an M.P.A (University of Missouri).  She lives in Green, Ohio with her husband and three kids. Read her latest posts.

 


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday: This Phoenix is Faith

 

Faith_LYFF

Love Yourself First! Friday (LYFF) is part of our Shed Light series collection. We invite women to tell their LYFF stories to inspire and empower others to also fiercely demonstrate self-love in action.  The questions are meant to  “shed light” on various ways our featured Phoenixes are making self-care and intentional living a priority.

This week’s awesome Phoenix is Faith:

How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

For me, self-love is very much intertwined with self-acceptance. Part of this is simply being my authentic self instead of trying to be the person others want or expect me to be – something I’ve struggled with in the past.

Sometimes it means accepting my limitations and not expecting perfection. My best is enough. I’ve learned to set boundaries and not take on too much, just to make someone else happy. Sometimes you have to say no.

At the same time, I think self-love is partially what enables me to push myself to achieve. I grew up knowing I wanted more for my life than I felt I was being offered. Because I love myself, I have worked hard to accomplish many goals. I’m proud of who I am and what I’ve accomplished so far, and I love myself enough to continue to strive for more.

Recipes

“I’ve found that the larger variety of healthy foods I eat, the more I enjoy making healthy choices and love to try new recipes.”

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practices, etc)

I put a lot of emphasis on mental self-care. I try to keep my self-talk positive. If I wouldn’t say something to a friend or to my daughter, why should I say it to myself? Speaking of friends, I try to nurture my relationships and surround myself with positive influences as much as possible. My friends are a priority in my life and I feel lucky that they make me a priority, too. I think that a good laugh or conversation with a friend can soothe the soul like nothing else.

I love to eat healthy (and delicious) food, and drink lots of water. I don’t believe in “dieting” or depriving myself of food. Instead, I try to incorporate as many fruits, veggies and whole grains as possible- and when I want something less healthy I eat it, too. I’ve found that the larger variety of healthy foods I eat, the more I enjoy making healthy choices and love to try new recipes. I hate the way society has taught so many women and girls to count every calorie and associate food with being “good” or “bad.” I try to eat for longevity and health – not what society says I should look like.

I try to work physical activity into my life, although in my current state (month 9 of pregnancy) I have been slacking. I’m not a person who enjoys traditional exercise and I hate running, so I have to find ways to make being active interesting for me. I really enjoy taking long walks (especially with my family). I also like participating in classes at my gym, like yoga or Zumba. I really want to get a bike, too! Anything that feels more like an adventure or experience rather than work is right up my alley.

Finally, I make sleep a priority. I recently heard someone describe sleep as the only basic human need that we tend to delegitimize or look at as a weakness. Most nights I am asleep not long after 10 p.m.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

As a mother with a full-time career outside of the home, I face many demands and really have to work at balance. There have been days when I cried after dropping my daughter off at the sitter’s in the morning and there have been days when I cried when I had to leave a work meeting early to pick her up. Not many of my co-workers have children (and most of those who do have much older children), so there have definitely been times when I worried about how my commitment outside of work as a mother impacted perceptions of my job performance. There have been times that I felt guilty for being away from my daughter during the day. At the same time, I enjoy and am proud of both aspects of my life, so I’ve learned to allow myself to embrace the positive feelings that both working and being a mother bring into my life and let go of the negative feelings of self-doubt or not being “enough.” I show myself love by giving myself permission to focus on the task at hand – whether work or being with my daughter- without guilt. It helps having an awesome and supportive partner (my husband, Matt).

Motherhood has actually had a strong impact on my self-love in a lot of ways. I think one of the things I was afraid of before becoming a mother was losing a sense of myself. Instead, I’ve discovered a lot about myself that I didn’t know before. Sometimes I’m amazed at what I’m capable of. The amount of love I have for my daughter has given me confidence that I didn’t know I had. I make better choices because I know she is constantly watching and learning from me. Also, some of the things I love most about her are traits that I can also see in myself. How can I not love the things we have in common?

What have you learned from self-love?

Simple gratitude. I am more grateful than I can express for all the beauty in my life. It really is reciprocal: The more grateful I am for my life, the more I love myself. And the more I love myself, the more grateful I feel.

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Join the Collective. Share your self-love story with us. Send an email HERE. Put “My LYFF Story” in the subject line, and we’ll send you follow-up info. Sweet. Short. Simple!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a bi-weekly self-love series created by The Phoenix Rising Collective. Phenomenal women who fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive ‪self esteem share their stories‬.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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AFFIRMATION OF THE DAY: I ask for help when I need it.

asking_for_help[affirmation]PHOENIX RISING COLLECTIVE

Don’t be afraid to ask for help! And if you are, ask anyway. Knowing that you can’t always go it alone or pick up the pieces on your own is a part of being in tune with who you are and honoring what you need. Asking for help strengthens the courage muscle. It is self-care, so be open to it in diverse forms. Expand the resources available to you and create abundance. You deserve it.

Be self-love in action.

 


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Self-Love Tip of the Day: Set Intentional Goals for Your Life

SELF-LOVE TIP OF THE DAY: Set Intentional Goals for Your Life

Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction…the new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. -Melody Beattie

How are you preparing for 2014? Have you written your goals for the new year? What about creating a vision board? Writing and visualizing what you want is an important part of intentional living – healthy steps toward creating the happiness you desire! Make time for positive practices that help manifest the experiences you deserve to have.

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EXTRA TIP: Plan a Vision Board Brunch. Invite your closest sister-friend(s), one or two, over for a good meal. Pull out the old magazines and get creative! Share your thoughts about what you want for 2014 and commit to supporting one another throughout the year.

Happy Tuesday. Be self-love in action!

Want more on goal-setting and making positive change? Read this article from Simone and Aisha, our Life + Style contributors.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Laugh Today

Today’s tip: Laugh. We mean a from-the-belly-I-can’t-take-it-anymore kinda laugh. Why? Because (1) it’s fun, and (2) you have a lot to be thankful for. We can think of one thing on the gratitude list right off the bat: a NEW day! And that, of course, means new possibilities – a chance to start fresh. So, let happiness in; open to joy through laughter today!

Happy Friday, Phoenix. Be self-love in action.

laugh_inspire_LYFF[POST]


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Our May Tribute to Mothers Ends with Yolanda

Yolanda_LYFF[collage_blogpost]

It’s Love Yourself First! Friday, and this is the last self-love story in our May Tribute to Mothers series. As you know, we extended an invitation to three mothers and they all accepted, so we asked them thoughtful questions about self-love, and they eloquently answered with wisdom!  The last story in the tribute series comes from Yolanda.

Yolanda is the mother of Akil Houston, one of the contributing writers for the forthcoming book, Chasing My Father, Finding Myself: Journeys to Healing and Forgiveness.  We extended the invitation to her because she is spiritually conscious, committed to helping women build healthy self-esteem, and full of inspiring words of wisdom and truth. Akil asked his mother these heartfelt questions, and here are her responses! Thank you, Mama Yolanda.

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How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

As I reflect on this question I am reminded of a piece of sage wisdom given to me by an elder: “Baby, if I don’t take care of me, I will not be able to take care of anyone else.” She provided this tidbit as she was preparing to take a road trip with her 18-year old niece. In order to take this road trip she had to find a caretaker for her husband who was terminally ill. She instilled in me the need to make sure that I lovingly took care of me, and to make myself a very high priority, as opposed to giving until I was worn out.

I have learned to embrace my passion for reading books or watching television shows that have absolutely no socially redeeming value, for example watching Scandal or reading romance novels. In the bigger picture of life, watching Scandal will not cure world hunger and reading romance novels will not bring world peace. However, what they will do is provide a bit of down time that brings me peace and feeds my soul.  Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t read books or articles of substance, it just means that I need a break to recharge my battery.

There are also times when I just need to be around small children who are able to smile and laugh as if this is the greatest gift anyone could ever give.

When deeply stressed, I will retreat to my altar space to have a good conversation with my Yeye Oshun only asking that she listen, allowing me to reach a place of clarity.

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc.)

My spiritual practice demonstrates the greatest show of self-care. While sitting in my altar space is quietly refreshing, I know that I can access that spiritual essence from wherever I may find myself.

Alternative healing practices such as acupuncture, chiropractic medicine, and massage have come to be the most effective methods of healing for me. Now, that does not mean that I won’t use westernized medicine if needed, it just means that alternative medicines have been the provider of the greatest healing for me. It was alternative healing practices that discovered the root of my chronic ear infections, laryngitis, and swelling as opposed to the numerous medications provided by my western physician that only masked my food sensitivities and allergies. My basic and most enjoyable form of exercise was dance. I danced for over twenty years taking classes, performing, and teaching until I had a serious fall at work and suffered a back and knee injury.

I now find that there is no form of exercise that gives me as much pleasure as dance.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

When I met my son’s father, we were both in college. He was a junior and I, a freshman; it was instant love. He was so handsome, self-sufficient, and intelligent. We had talked a great deal about what our lives would be like once we graduated and were married.  He was going to be an educator and I had plans to become a school social worker. At that point, I felt as though I loved him more than life itself. We always used protection so I was not worried about becoming pregnant; however, at one point the protection did not work.  I had been sick with a seemingly endless ear infection and strep throat and was on antibiotics for several weeks. Little did I know, the antibiotics and my form of birth control did not mix.  Upon finding out that I was pregnant, he informed both me, and our parents that there was no way he could marry me or provide for our child. Graduation and attending grad school were his highest priorities. Once he achieved his goals, he would then be in a better position to take care of a child.

I was devastated and wondered how this man, whom I loved so much, who I would have given my last everything, could say this to me.  At that point, everything changed; I had to make it for my son and me. Knowing that I always had the support of my family, knowing that I could go home at any time, and knowing that I could ask for help and not have to be constantly reminded of how much my family had sacrificed for me, made the task of raising a child doable.

Being a single mom did not allow me to take the time to view issues as obstacles or challenges, I just had to make sure that my son was taken care of.  I also realized that putting my son’s father’s needs above mine was the greatest mistake that I had ever made. I came to realize that by loving him more than I was willing to love me, I had not set any expectations for his behavior, allowing him to do whatever he wanted while making excuses for his lack of responsibility. It was through that lesson, that I came to realize that self-love was not selfish, and that I was and needed to be important to me. If I was not aware of my value, no one else would ever be aware of my value.

What have you learned about yourself from being a mother? How has it helped your personal development?

I have learned the importance of having patience, humility, and the ability to laugh at myself. As a parent, just when you believe that your child would never do anything to embarrass you, they do something to challenge your parenting.  Sometimes your child will say something that makes you want to laugh, but you know as a parent that sometimes that laugh is really about something that you have told him/her, interpreting what you have said in a manner that you never intended.

Things that I thought were so important to being a great parent, really had very little to do with true parenting. Loving with expectations for behavior, setting limits, and being consistent were some of the greatest gifts I have received as a parent. The ability to multitask and listen beyond the spoken words have all been great assets to and for my personal development.

What have you learned from self-love?

I have learned that self-love is the greatest gift I can give to myself while showing others how I expect to be treated. It is looking beyond the pimple on my chin, the graying hair, the last ten pounds that I need to lose, or the self-sabotaging criticism that can destroy a person quicker than anything.

It’s about trusting in myself, being able to forgive me and not carrying those things I will never be able to change. It’s making sure that I love me and can have no less than one big heartfelt laugh a day. But most of all, it is about never lying to myself. It is about finding that inner peace, and appreciating the beauty of the simple things that life has to offer. It is also knowing that I am connected to spirit and how spirit is connected to me.

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Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.