The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women. Empowering Change.


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The Phoenix Book of the Week: The Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver

Corrine_Book_of_the_Week[phoenixrisingcollective]1Our Phoenix Book of the Week Pick comes from Corrine:

Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver

I’ve been reading Happy Wives Club by Fawn Weaver. The book outlines Fawn’s journey around the world as she uncovers the secrets to a long lasting happy marriage.

I found out about the book being a member of the Happy Wives Club group on Facebook. Daily messages are sent to members with fun and loving statements encouraging members to boast about their love of marriage and their husbands.

I’m reading the book because I have been married almost two years and I’ve always enjoyed polling family and friends who have been married 10+ years about what is the success to their marriages. I asked my grandparents, and they said pray; another person said communication; yet another said have thick skin.

As a wife and new mother, taking care of my family and being a good example is important to me. Folks are quick to recite statistics that downplay marriage - citing 50% of marriages end in divorce and others. But rarely do you find a whole movement that supports happy marriage. I’m about half way through the book and I am learning a lot. I highly recommend it.

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About The Phoenix Book of the Week:

The Phoenix Book of the Week features recommendations from The Phoenix Rising Collective, as well as the empowered women who support us. We’ll be sharing our thoughts on books that have been powerful resources for sustaining healthy self-esteem, creating emotional and spiritual wellness, and committing to intentional living. We’ll also share our personal stories about how and why the books have inspired personal growth and sparked “light bulb moments” that changed our lives in some way. The book picks may cover a wide range of topics from diverse genres.

Interested in sharing a book with us? Please click here to send your request for more details on submitting a book entry.


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Don’t Look Too Far: Black Her-Story is in Your Own Backyard

Black_Women_History[phoenixrisingcollective]

Each year I welcome the national recognition of Black Her/History month with such reverence, admiration, and reflection. While I strive to honor the significant contributions my ancestors have made EVERY month, this year is quite different. Why? Well, for one, my role as contributing writer for The Phoenix Rising Collective has provided a platform to discuss all things pertaining to motherhood and its intersections with race, class, gender, love, health, wealth, and education, to name a few. But secondly, The PRC also allows me to inform readers by spotlighting how the extraordinary contributions of our foremothers have tremendously influenced our modern world, as well as the Divine Goddess DNA that flows through our bodies as women of color.

So, in celebration of Black Her-story Month 2014, and rolling with the theme of honoring our foremothers every month, this Motherhood Empowerment article will be about, none other than, MY MOTHER!

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Marilyn Clarke cutting a client’s hair. Photo Credit: Flint Journal Archives

According to a February 12, 1972 Flint Journal (Flint, MI) newspaper article, Marilyn Clarke was the first black woman to graduate at 19 years old from the predominantly (99%) white Flint Institute of Barbering Inc. since the 1920s. And, she was distinctively known as the shortest female barber in Flint, Michigan during that time, measuring 4’11. She had to stand on top of a box to reach the top of many of her clients’ heads. My mom began cutting hair as a teenager for my uncle and grandfather, as well as young men from the neighborhood where she grew up - located on the Southside of Flint. She immensely enjoyed cutting hair during this epic era of Afros, blowouts, tapers, pompadours and Caesars (better known as the quovadis back then). However the quick and precise cut of the Afro was my Mom’s claim to fame! She was able to shape the finest, roundest, symmetrical Afro in the city. Hilbert Hambrick the owner of Personality Hair-styling, who was her boss, had only one major complaint: she only spent 15 minutes on an Afro versus the suggested 25-30 minutes. She responded, “Time is money!” Charging $4.50 for an adult haircut and half that price for a child’s haircut, my mom was determined to keep her services quality yet fast paced. The result? A thriving clientele of black, white, young, and old customers!

Being able to work creatively with one’s hands, in whatever capacity, is an exceptional gift. This is a gift my mother has passed down to all of her children and many of her grandchildren. We have all been blessed with the ability to create just about every hairstyle for just about every texture of hair. While none of us at this point in our lives have decided to pursue careers within the hair and beauty industries, we’ve definitely acquired the necessary skills to do so thanks to a little old woman named Marilyn Clarke who broke ground in a male dominated field during the 1970s.

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Baby Marilyn Clarke

So, as a follow up to one of my recommended tips from the November 2013 Motherhood Empowerment article, extend gratitude, gratitude, and more gratitude to your mothers, grandmothers, great- grandmothers, great-great grandmothers, and so on and so on. Simply reflecting on their greatness, strength, wisdom, and accomplishments can help ease what appears to be your most challenging moments, heal what feels like your deepest wounds, and shine light on your darkest hours.

This month (and every month), Mom, I honor and salute you! Thank you for lasting legacy in our hometown and within our family.

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About the Contributing Writer:

KaNeesha_reflectW. KaNeesha Allen is the Motherhood Empowerment contributor for The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is an educator with extensive project management, student support services, and community outreach experience in K-12 and higher education institutions. She is also the mother of two extremely rambunctious and fun loving boys – Ausar and Mikah. Seeking to master the balance between being a highly engaged mother and taking time to BE with herself in the divine energy of the universe, KaNeesha finds peace, solace, and regeneration through meditation, Vinyasa yoga, and her “Sistah Circle”. She welcomes mothers from everywhere to join her on a journey of self-discovery and evolution towards harnessing, embodying, and emoting the Goddess power within.


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The Phoenix Book of the Week: Warning Signs: What every woman should know - a dating guide by Danielle E. Ward

warning_signs_book_of_the_week[phoenixrisingcollective]

Our Phoenix Book of the Week Pick comes from Danielle.

Warning Signs: What every woman should know - a dating guide

One of my favorite books is Warning Signs: What every woman should know — a dating guide, by Danielle E. Ward. This book just happens to be one I wrote, but my reasons for selecting it extend beyond the surface.

Warning Signs is the kind of book that reads like you’re sitting with your best girlfriend having a heart-to-heart. Just like your sister-friend, this book holds you accountable for your actions and makes you really think about the choices you make when dating. At the same time, it gives you that extra boost of confidence to do what’s necessary to get what you need and desire out of your relationships.

Having the book broken down based on traffic lights helps you see exactly where your relationship is and better determine its direction.

Warning Signs made me squirm sometimes, because I had to acknowledge my own behaviors and patterns in dating. I remember asking a guy I knew to read it, and he got to one part and said, “You don’t do that.” Ouch. It was time to make some changes.

From an author standpoint, writing Warning Signs was like being in an airplane that’s losing air pressure: I needed to put on my own oxygen mask and save myself before I could help anyone else survive. I couldn’t share tips with women that I wasn’t following myself.

This book helped me get off the fence in several areas of my life and be clear and unwavering about what I wanted out of my dating relationships. It also helped me clear away dead friendships and relationships and be open to meeting new people who truly valued me. Most importantly, Warning Signs reminded me that I am a work in progress and that’s okay.

71soHjIormL._SL1500_Like the book states, “Marriage is for mature, responsible people.” We need to “heal and deal” — heal from past hurts and deal with the baggage we brought from previous relationships in order to be ready to move forward.

My hope is that women who read Warning Signs will take the time to do an honest assessment of where they are in their relationships and why. Using that information, I envision lives transformed as women leave unhealthy relationships behind and fill up their own love tank. This will help position them for a relationship that complements them and allows them to be content enjoying their own company in the meantime.

Warning Signs is available for purchase in all formats. Ten percent of the annual proceeds support survivors of domestic violence.

For more information about the book and the author, visit Warning Signs. You may also follow her on Facebook.

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About The Phoenix Book of the Week:

The Phoenix Book of the Week features book recommendations from The Phoenix Rising Collective, as well as the empowered women who support us. We’ll be sharing our thoughts on books that have been powerful resources for sustaining healthy self-esteem, creating emotional and spiritual wellness, and committing to intentional living. We’ll also share our personal stories about how and why the books have inspired personal growth and sparked “light bulb moments” that changed our lives in some way. The book picks may cover a wide range of topics from diverse genres.

Interested in sharing a book with us? Please click here to send your request for more details on submitting a book entry.

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How to Embrace Living Outside Your Comfort Zone to Create the Life You Really Want - An Artist’s Point of View

I have incessantly pondered how to begin this first 2014 article. What do I want to share with the readers this year on the subject of Art and Creativity? And how can I link this subject to The PRC’s theme “Balance”?

Let’s begin with a definition of balance. According to Dictionary.com, balance means “a state of equilibrium; mental steadiness or emotional stability.” According to Traci Currie, balance also means recognizing the yin and yang in one’s life in order to help understand and explore the beautiful complexities that make life worth living. I don’t blame any reader for asking, “What in the world are you talking about? Yin and Yang. Really, TC?” And my response is YES! I am talking about the opposing forces that need each other to help create balance. For example, I am both comfortable and uncomfortable in the mental and physical space I presently inhabit. The opposition lies in living out my discomfort but also creating ease in my day-to-day routine.

You might wonder why life is uncomfortable for me these days. Well, I am on an unpaid leave-of-absence from work. I do not have insurance. I do not have my own home (as I once did). I no longer have a vehicle I can jump into and drive anywhere and everywhere; I am more dependent on people than I have ever been in my life. And believe you-me, I am a very independent person. Now, let’s look at the other side - what makes life comfortable? I have a warm place to lay my head every night. I am fed every single day. If there is an emergency I have loved ones who will help me. Most of all, I am faith driven. In other words, although I may not have the answers to my questions and concerns right now, I know or believe that the questions/concerns I have will be answered in due time.

Art and Creativity’s Connection to Life Outside the Comfort Zone

Now what does being uncomfortable have to do with being creative and artistic? Everything. At the end of 2013 I asked Discomfort to be my friend instead of my enemy or my phobia-driven antagonist. Discomfort replied, “Sure thing, TC. But I require something of you.” My response, “What do you want from me?” Discomfort’s response, “Trust. Walk with me all the way to the end of this journey and do not give up - no matter how uncomfortable it gets. Just find a way to keep going.” Finding a way to move through situations means I have to be creative and quite the artist. And guess what? I’m up for the challenge! After all, Discomfort and I are friends, and the great thing about an honest friendship is that you have the opportunity to learn each other and grow together.

So, this year I have sought out other artists who have impacted my life. Some of them are friends; some of them are people I have never met but read about or listened to; some of them have passed on and some have yet to be found. Although they come in different shades, ages and gender, I am focusing on women of color for my articles. In addition, I have also decided to rethink what art is and what it looks like to both the world (that’s a pretty big audience) and to me. In essence, I hope to broaden the understanding (mine and yours) of Art and Creativity.

Throughout the year I will talk to various women artists about balance and what that means to them. But most importantly I will link their responses to my life so that there is a connection as to why I have chosen them for each article. I will not focus every month on a specific artist but I will always focus on the theme, balance, which is why I am calling this, “A Year of Symmetry: Creatively Finding Balance from the Artisan.” I specifically use the word artisan because it often defines a craftsperson or someone skilled in the applied arts. Not everyone is deemed an artisan. I have learned that artisans study their craft and most often become the craft itself - which leads me to my first artist or more appropriately named, Artisan.

The Unconventional Artisan: Carol

For February I have chosen to be a bit unconventional by featuring my mother. What’s unconventional about that? Well, she does not like being in the public eye. Putting her in the spotlight is uncomfortable. Moreover, people might argue my calling her an artisan, but hear me out, and consider her story:

Carol is a teacher. OK, actually she is a retired computer programmer, and she presently substitutes three days per week at a bilingual elementary school. Most of the students know her quite well and she is well-loved by some of the teachers and students. I am not just saying this because she told me or because she is my mother. I actually witnessed it. I visited the school and watched her in class this past January. I also watched her interaction with various teachers and administrators who made it their business to tell me how much they love her. She is an artist. She has a way with children that many of us WISH we had.

My mother has a rhythm in her Caribbean voice that is assertive, vibrant, and peaceful. For example, a fifth grade boy was getting smart with her. I held my breath for a moment wondering how this was going to play out. She said something to him calmly and walked away. He seemed to annoyingly fiddle around on the computer. He even looked at me once as if he wanted to take me down. She went back to his computer and talked to him again. Before I could blink he agreed with whatever she said and willingly completed his work. Now, I know this is a general example because the question one might have is “What did they say to each other?” For me, it was less about what was said and more about what she showed him – a teacher’s heart, wisdom, and skills. How is this art? Well, I have learned over the years that a good teacher isn’t just someone who gives you information and walks away. A good teacher, in many cases, is a performer. We perform for our students and find ways to make the material interesting, understandable, sometimes creative, and relevant to their lives. And as a performer we find ways to improve our performance for our audience. My best teacher was a statistics professor. STATISTICS?! (For those of you who loathe anything numerical). He made stats look like poetry because he LOVED the subject so much that you had no other choice but to enjoy it as much as he did. He cracked jokes, offered personal anecdotes, even acted out a few scenarios with numbers. And to think, I was told that this professor disliked women and Black people, which meant I was out for the count! But aha, I came out of that class with an A (or A-) because he taught me poetry with numbers. What am I saying about my mother and/or teachers? My mother does more than substitute-teach. She teaches these students with hugs, with words of encouragement, with the obvious technical instruction, and most of all, with love.

All the artisans I know, no matter what they profess as their occupation, are called by this rightful name because they know how to find the artistry in what they do. And even when the work becomes frustrating and uncomfortable they somehow embrace the challenge as a part of the road map they have been given to find their way to their appointed destination. Again, it’s a part of life. It’s what makes life worth living.

What have I learned from her? The question that I really should ask is “What haven’t I learned from her?” I now know that I teach because it is an art form that I can wheel and deal and reshape every time I step into the classroom. But then again, everywhere I go seems to afford me the opportunity to be a teacher and a student, which means ART is always at my feet. So, here’s to an artisan that knows her craft as well as she knows herself. And make no mistake, Carol knows herself well. If you need proof, simply look at what she has produced – ME!

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About the Contributing Writer:

Traci Currie is the Art + Creativity contributor for The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is a Communication and Visual Arts lecturer at University of Michigan-Flint, as well as a knit-crochet artist, writer, and spoken word performer. She has been a part of the art world for over 15 years as an art gallery board member; spoken word series organizer; performer, nationally and internationally; and published poet. Read her latest posts here.


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Bethann Hardison: She is Courageous. And Yes, So Are You!

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“After a certain point you can’t keep saying this is not my aesthetic. When the president of the CFDA [Council of Fashion Designers of America] says in her letter every season, ‘Think healthy, think diversity,’ and they continue to put the letter in the garbage as they pin the dress on one of the 35 white girls walking down their runway, what kind of lack of responsibility and insensitivity are you demonstrating when your society around you is changing?” –Bethann Hardison

Bethann Hardison is a dynamic fashion activist, film producer/director, and model who consistently advocates for more diversity in advertising and the overall fashion industry. In the late 60s, she was discovered by fashion designer, Will Smith, and began working as a fitting model, eventually transitioning to the runway and print industries. Throughout the 70s, Bethann broke barriers appearing in Allure, Harper’s Bazaar, and Vogue.

Becoming more concerned with industry politics, Hardison changed her focus to advocacy and support, and in 1984 she successfully started Bethann Management Agency to represent models of all ethnicities. In 1989, she co-founded the Black Girl’s Coalition to help bring awareness to wide-ranging issues such as homelessness in New York to diversity in advertising.

Hardison continues to strongly challenge the fashion industry and has also turned her attention toward film, recently producing several documentaries including About Face: Supermodels Then and Now, and Invisible Beauty, which sheds light on racism in the industry and how Black women are becoming invisible despite successful strides in previous decades.

Celebrate Black History. Be Self-Love in Action.


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The Phoenix Book of the Week: Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette

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Our Phoenix Book of the Week Pick comes from Angela:

Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette

At the time of purchasing Trust Your Vibes by Sonia Choquette I was feeling a bit overwhelmed in many areas of my life, especially my career. Although my intentions were good, I had made a terrible mistake. Had I listened to what my heart was saying (that is my intuition) I would not have ended up in the crisis I thought I was in. Thankfully the universe opened itself to me, sending what I needed at the very moment I needed it. In other words, this book appeared! The title alone drew me in, and it’s one of my top five favorite books of all time.

I have to admit, I felt that I was a pretty “conscious” woman prior to buying the book, but after reading the first few pages I soon realized that although I am spiritually aware, I wasn’t listening to my inner teacher or inner voice. The content of Trust Your Vibes is much more complex than explaining what to do when your inner voice speaks to you and whether or not you take heed, it’s all about living at a higher frequency. I realized that my intuition is direct contact with my divine nature and that supersedes intellect. For example, as a child I felt there was always something more, something bigger; however, I thought that “something” was outside of me. Choquette reveals that it is our sixth sense, and it is definitely not outside of us.

She also explains how to create a beautiful, peaceful, and bountiful life by simply doing two things: (1) being clear on your intentions, and (2) being present!

One of the main lessons that resonated with me from the book is that using your intuition is essential and not optional in today’s world. If you’re seeking true happiness, success, joy, peace, or authenticity then you must begin with your sixth sense, your best sense - your intuition.

After reading Trust Your Vibes several times, I understand that the best way to rely upon my “vibes”, “gut”, or intuition - whatever you choose to call it - means to live with intention.

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About The Phoenix Book of the Week:

The Phoenix Book of the Week features book recommendations from The Phoenix Rising Collective, as well as the empowered women who support us. We’ll be sharing our thoughts on books that have been powerful resources for sustaining healthy self-esteem, creating emotional and spiritual wellness, and committing to intentional living. We’ll also share our personal stories about how and why the books have inspired personal growth and sparked “light bulb moments” that changed our lives in some way. The book picks may cover a wide range of topics from diverse genres.

Interested in sharing a book with us? Please click here to send your request for more details on submitting a book entry.


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Fannie Lou Hamer: She was Brave. And Yes, So Are You!

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“None of us would be where we are today had she not been here then.” -Andrew Young (on Fannie Lou Hamer)

Fannie Lou Hamer was a resilient and dedicated civil rights activist. In 1964, Hamer helped to found the Mississippi Freedom Democratic Party, established to expand Black voter registration and to challenge the state’s all-white party. MFDP members fought for rightful seating at the 1964 Democratic National Convention and Fannie Lou’s perseverance brought Mississippi’s civil rights issues to the forefront. She told her story to the convention’s credentials committee about being fired from her job, brutally beaten, and met with death threats - all for trying to register to vote. The story was televised with an outpouring of national support. And although the MFDP’s first bid to win a seat was unsuccessful, four years later in Chicago…

“Hamer received a thunderous standing ovation when she became the first African American to take her rightful seat as an official delegate at a national-party convention since the Reconstruction period after the Civil War, and the first woman ever from Mississippi.” (Sina Dubovoy, Civil Rights Leaders, 1997)

Hear Fanni Lou Hamer’s heartfelt, courageous speech:

 

Celebrate Black History. Be self-love in action.

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