It’s Love Yourself First! A Tribute to Mothers. Usually we celebrate our self-love stories on Friday; however, because we’re honoring our mothers we’re doing things a little differently by sharing our first story on Mother’s Day. Since May is their special month (although every day of every month should be a celebration of motherhood), we’re dedicating LYF to them.
We asked three mothers to participate; they agreed, so we asked them thoughtful questions about self-love, and they eloquently answered with wisdom! So, over the next couple of weeks in May you’ll hear profound stories of resilience, courage, and love from seasoned women who embrace change!
Our hope is that you will be inspired by their journeys, and realize that your mistakes, challenges, and obstacles should not be viewed as failures but invaluable lessons that (when learned) most certainly make you stronger and more capable of fulfilling your purpose.
The first self-love story is from Shirley, mother of the Phoenix Rising Collective’s founder, Ayanna. She shares how she learned to move forward after several physical and emotional challenges in her life.
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How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?
It means that I make time to take care of me, as it is essential for rejuvenation and balance. It helps with making decisions that respect what I value most in life.
What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc.)
I usually start with meditation to get my mind right for the day; giving honor to the Higher Power in my life is important to me. In addition to that I always take at least one day out of the week to pamper myself. This could be getting a manicure/pedicure, shopping on my own for items that are creative, working on projects that I love like sketching, arts and crafts, making costumes for my Sunday school students’ plays and musicals, watching sunrises and sunsets, and most recently going to my local fitness center to work with a personal trainer. I do things that bring me peace.
Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?
Speaking up for myself! The older I get the more I value speaking up for what I believe in. I don’t let things go by. When I was younger, finding my voice was always a challenge. I felt like if I said something it would hurt the other person’s feelings, but now I consider myself in the situation, and I honor what I bring to the experience.
Another challenge for me was regular visits to the doctor’s office. I wasn’t going as often as I should out of fear of the results and not valuing its importance. When I had to have a biopsy on my thyroid and a cyst removed from my left breast (both were benign), I made a vow to keep up with my doctor’s appointments, because longevity is important to me, and I also want to be more in tune with my body’s rhythm. I kept faith, and pulled through those health scares. These difficult experiences gave me the courage I needed to commit to my physical health.
Divorce at an older age was also difficult, but it made me stronger. I realized that I stayed married for as long as I did (almost 20 years) because I was in love with the idea of being married, not the person. Fortunately, I recognized that truly loving myself meant that I had to do what would make me happy, and getting a divorce was the key to opening that door.
I prayed for the marriage to get better, but what the Creator really wanted for my life wasn’t going to happen until I moved forward. I knew that, but gaining the courage to take the first step was the hardest part of the process. Honestly, I didn’t think I would make it but I did. I’m a survivor! I love my independence; it provides an opportunity to really get in touch with my own feelings, to understand what I need from a relationship, and to have new experiences that really fulfill me. It has been five years now, and I’m happy with where I am and what I’ve learned.
What have you learned about yourself from being a mother? How has it helped your personal development?
Above all, I’ve learned patience, communication, and compassion. Motherhood is challenging and rewarding at the same time, just like life, and as a mother you have to treat each situation you’re face with differently depending on the circumstances or even the child that you’re having the experience with. The same is true of my personal development; I have to be patient with myself, communicate about what I want for my life, and have self-compassion in the midst of the ups and downs along the way.
What have you learned from self-love?
That it absolutely matters that I put myself first; I won’t have anything to give if my well is dry. I’m more compassionate and understanding when I take care of myself. It gives me the energy to give to others. I can be of more service when I haven’t forgotten about my own needs.
Happy Mother’s Day, Phoenixes! Love yourself fiercely.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
For National Poetry Month I have chosen to interview three poets whom I have had the pleasure of getting to know. I want to showcase the spirit of this art form through their life experiences. What I hope you will notice is the very unique voices that shape these women. I asked all three the same questions, but the way they chose to answer reinforces the power of how humans identify themselves as individuals, social beings, and collective forces. I also observed that the women, as unique and individually powerful as they are, spoke of similar experiences: pain, resilience, change, and appreciation.
Andrea Daniel
Who are you?
I am a totally creative person – all arts, culture and entertainment, with a splash of communications. My dreams/vision for my life have never changed since I was a little girl, which means I’ve always been into poetry, singing, dance, theater, writing, video production and voice over work, but my left-brain and right-brain work in tandem, because I’m also a business owner. I have to split my time and mind between the creative and the business side. I am a woman who thrives on positivity, putting it out there and getting it back. I’m a mother of a wonderful 22-year old son who is also a creative type; I am a sister, a daughter, friend to a close circle of like-minded people; a woman who loves to laugh, and a pet owner of a sweet little 13-year old terrier mixed with poodle.
Primarily I’m a writer, as most things I do stem from the realm of writing.
Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your poetic artistry.
Click photo for more info about Andrea and Like Gwendolyn.
While I’ve always written poetry, I believe my voice was the strongest in my years of recovery from domestic abuse. In 1992, I left my abusive husband of four years, taking my, then, two-year old son with me and moved from Maryland back to my hometown, Detroit, MI. Needless to say, I wrote a lot of poems after I left; poems about abuse and its effects, and poems about my son when he’d have to leave me for long periods of time because a judge ordered that his father have visitation rights. This was a very painful time for me. My only response was to write about it. Those poems are published in my first poetry book, Like Gwendolyn, and while the entire book is not about abuse, it’s those poems and the poems about my son that tend to resonate most with people.
One of the greatest experiences I’ve had was after graduation from Oakland University in 1985. I worked on a cruise ship, the S.S. Emerald Seas, which was part of the eastern cruise line (I don’t think it still exists). I was part of the five-member song and dance act, TiChand, performing as the floor show on the cruise ship, five nights a week, two shows a night. I was the only American along with four Canadians, and the only Black person in the group. We sailed from Miami, Florida to the Bahamian Islands. I felt like it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing at that time in my life; there was nothing about it that felt foreign to me. Our contract was for six months, but because I have a minor heart condition, which flared up during my solo performance one night, my stay was only for one month. I will never forget it.
Another highlight of my life was after I left my marriage back in 1992. In addition to writing poetry, one of the things that was a great distraction from the upheaval of my life, was the opportunity to write and be the lead vocalist on a House music track called Stars, which was produced by the internationally known House music DJ/producer Carl Craig. My cousin was dating Carl at the time, and she recommended me to work with him when he needed a songwriter and a singer on his newest project. We recorded two tracks, which both became very popular in the House music scene here in the U.S. as well as in Europe. A surreal thing about that experience is, today my son is a House music DJ, and people he knows in the industry still have high regard for the music I did 21 years ago.
Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?
(Andrea extensively spoke of many poets, writers, and artists.) Here are two:
Gwendolyn Brooks. She was one of the first African American poets I was introduced to as a child. The clarity, rawness and lyrical nature of her writing had a big impact on me. I’d met her twice in my life, once when I was 10. She autographed a copy of the book The Black Poets for my father, which I still have. And again I met her while I was in college when I attended a Master Class she conducted at Oakland University. She was a very direct and thoughtful woman.
Nikki Giovanni. One of my favorite books of hers is Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day. From Nikki I learned that poetry can be fun, serious, and well, Nikki Giovanni is just an awesome poet and woman. I’ve heard her speak twice, and it was from her that I also learned to cure writer’s block: learn more about [your] subject, read something, study something, then the words will come.
Shilpa Venkatachalam
Who are you?
I am from, Bombay, India. I left India when I was 20 years old. I completed my Masters in English Literature at the University of Durham, U.K. and followed it with a Ph.D. in literature and critical theory at the University of Nottingham, U.K. where I also taught briefly. I currently teach literature and philosophy at the University of the West Indies, Trinidad. Suffice to say, I am, however, at a crossroads in my life and am soon to make a switch into the area of public health and policy fueled by a desire to make a difference in the area following the experiences that resulted from my father’s diagnosis and recent battle with cancer, which came to a close a few months ago.
How do you identify yourself in terms of your artistic craft?
As a writer, writing is simultaneously one of the most difficult things to me and the most ‘natural’ because it is through writing that life unfolds itself; it is through writing that moments of clarity, epiphany, whatever one chooses to call them present themselves to you in order for you to chase them through dark alleys, winding roads, and serpent like pathways.
It is always a hard thing to say what one’s poetry is about: life, love, disappointment, betrayal, faith, regret, pleasure, pain, ecstasy – all of these and yet none of these. For if I could capture what it is all about, I would perhaps not write at all. Writing is the very quest; it entails a process of searching and chasing, a curious struggle to articulate the unsaid, incomprehensible. And in that attempt, a hope to find at least a glimmer of understanding and of capturing. That, at least, has been my hope.
Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your poetic artistry.
Life, for me has been full of surprises and unexpected twists and turns. There comes a point in your life when everything comes to a head, when one difficult situation is relieved by another one. The past three years for me have been a testimony to this; from my own serious illness, to my fathers battle with advanced cancer and his subsequent loss, weeks on end spent in the critical care unit, and the loss of a close friend, and then my own crisis as a result of these events – a crisis of the self, a crisis of what life really means, a crisis of relationships and people. It seemed nothing would give.
But through all this, one begins to understand oneself; one begins to realize the dignity and strength of people who suffer and see the suffering their loved ones are going through; one sees a remarkable humanity and empathy that ironically shines through when people are going through the most testing times of their lives. This fantastic ability of people to pierce through, beyond their own pain and reach out to the other has been most inspiring to me. The renewal of faith in life and in people is unrivaled, stunning, magnificent and nothing short of remarkable. There is also the transience of all things in life, something I continue to battle with to understand, an urge to grasp it, to embrace it, to resist it, all at the same time.
Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?
As far as favorite writers or books are concerned, I find myself gravitating toward them depending on where I am in life at that particular point: what experiences I am going through or have gone through, what my philosophy at that moment is. Everything is a process of metamorphosis, so it could be mountaineering books, it could be Borges, it could be Graham Greene, it could be Em and the Big Hoom. Different writers, different books touch and impact me at different points in my life.
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A Poem by Shilpa Venkatachalam:
Here and There
You want guarantees,
I can offer you none.
Like a subatomic particle I exist in two different states simultaneously
I am wave
And I am particle
And come into being only for an instant that disappears before it has decided to stay.
I’m already planning to leave you before I have even met you.
I’m already preparing to destroy before I have even created.
This is my tragedy and this is my bliss
I am clothed in contradictions
Like matter and anti-matter
I am immersed in inconsistency
Before I have committed
I know I will deceive
I cannot offer you what I do not possess
I cannot possess that which you want me to offer to you.
To sustain anything is a challenge I am unable to meet
Every second explodes with a million alterations
That invade my being
And that make it quiver.
How can I offer you a guarantee
When I have never known what it means.
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Jan Worth
Who are you?
I was born in Canton, Ohio to a preacher and his wife in 1949. My mother was 39 when she had me. I have a sister who is ten years older than me, and I have a brother who is seven years older than me.
Lately I’ve been thinking about the endurance of one’s very first impressions of the world. My world was full of people who were bigger than me. They were imposing figures but nobody was quite happy. I was surrounded by people who were fairly ill at ease and who made a lot of decisions about me. I didn’t really experience the world as a place that I had control over. My job, it seemed, was to bring slivers of joy into this rather depressive unit. Apparently I used to hold my breath until I blacked out to get their attention. I remember only one of these episodes. On the other hand, I somehow felt like I wasn’t really “one of them” and so I always assumed whatever was going to happen to me would have no connection to them. I was surrounded by religion, scripture, religious music, words – and my poems have a lot of the iambic pentameter of the King James Version in them.
My family always expected catastrophe: my father’s father was killed during the Depression and his family lost their farm. My mother’s father was a traveling evangelist who was always leaving, leaving, leaving, and her mother lost her mind. I’ve gradually learned that the worst doesn’t always happen. That’s been a great relief.
To learn more about Jan and her novel, Night Blind, click the photo.
So, this avoids the question of who I am now. I am just letting go of those first impressions of the world. Not everyone else is bigger than me. It is not my job to make everybody else happy. I do not want to continue carrying my mother’s grief – she is dead. I am profoundly in love with using words – I recently used the phrase “sanctimoniously reasonable” and I love how that sounds, and how perfect it is for what I meant at the time. That kind of thing gives me deep pleasure.
I am a woman who’s learning to breathe. I’m a woman who’s gradually trusting my rhythms and my deep inclinations towards words, but I know words aren’t enough; sometimes, the body knows things – sometimes silence is best. I’m a woman trying to be in the moment, as the saying goes. I know I can’t be alone all the time, and one of my greatest pleasures is sleeping with my husband. I mean actually sleeping – the physical refuge and comfort of our conjugal bodies together. I’m a woman who doesn’t know much of anything for sure. I think the earth is spectacularly beautiful and I wish we weren’t ruining it.
How do you identify yourself in terms of your artistic craft?
See above – my ear is pretty closely attuned to the cadences of the old scriptures and hymns, even if my content isn’t always. I love working with sound; I want my poems, even the depressed ones, to be melodious. I love interesting words. I am continually touched by the “natural world,” by air and fragrance and new growth. I still generally believe in the individual ‘eye’ and ‘I’ although I know a single voice often isn’t enough. But it’s what I have to work with. Protestantism is very centered on the individual – on the individual’s private and rightful relationship to God. In my case, I’ve taken that to mean I have the right to doubt. And believe me, I do, and feel no guilt.
Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your artistry.
I was at Kent State University when the shootings happened in 1970; it was a turning point for me, making me believe the world was dangerous and sometimes short. I felt quite reckless for a time after that. Peace Corps in Polynesia shaped me in that I took myself on a giant adventure and survived it – I’ve written so much about that that I don’t have much more to say. Flint has affected me, too, of course – the continual wrestling with its troubles, my first marriage to a Flint man and poet; the deterioration and collapse of our long marriage, the ruin of the place. And then, discovering the joy, in my 50s, of a man who loves me – wow. It’s been the biggest surprise of my life, and I’m profoundly grateful. I’ve had to learn how to write happy poems.
Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?
One of my first literary faves was the South African short story writer Nadine Gordimer. I remember reading one of her short stories when I was about 14 or 15, working as a library page in Coshocton, Ohio. I remember just standing in the stacks and reading a story where a lonely woman watched a herd of deer – it touched my heart and I thought, wow, you can write like that? I also love the poems of James Wright, Theodore Roethke, Robert Hass, Adrienne Rich, Elizabeth Bishop, Heather McHugh, Marianne Boruch – many, many, too many to name. I’ve recently been reading Mary Ruefle’s essay collection Madness, Rack and Honey and I’m crazy in love with it. I like poets who understand the human condition is totally complicated and exasperating, and who doubt the world and love it simultaneously.
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A Poem by Jan Worth
Missiles, October, 1962
My parents said
we should get new tires
in case rubber got rationed
again. I caught the scent
of fear. Rubber burned the air,
left dismal grit
on Akron’s windowsills.
My mother went to bed,
middle of the day, sleepless,
sweating there for hours.
Rising, she seemed as tired
as before, blanket dents
on a cheek, hair flat on one side.
She left it like that.
I got my period, red splash.
Crawled into my parents’ bed,
rare day when my mother didn’t
get there first. Nestled
in the pride of new pain,
snuggling it, my own. Got
my first bra, small poking
breasts tender to the touch.
“Little missile girl,” my father
cracked, looking at me mournfully
as if I was about to disappear
in some uranium half-life.
“Stop it,” my mother said.
I didn’t believe the world
would end. There was going to be
plenty of time for me, to revel in
my vivid hurts, my lucky changes,
my charmed survival after
my mother and father were history.
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Traci Currie is a Communication Studies lecturer at University of Michigan-Flint, as well as a knit-crochet artist, writer, and spoken word performer. She has been a part of the art world for over 15 years as an art gallery board member; spoken word series organizer for 5 years; performer, nationally and internationally; and published poet. She believes the PRC will help young women reach their highest potential. “This organization is about empowering women to take ownership of their lives, claim their identities and be the positive change they wish to see in the world they live.”
This beautiful Phoenix is Nava (lovely name, too, right?). She shares her self-love story with us by compassionately giving some thoughtful daily self-care regimens and words of wisdom that can build a stronger sense of spirituality, balance, and of course, love for your life.
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Just like a flower needs water to grow, it’s important to learn about the things we need to nurture ourselves in every way. This means loving myself for all the good that I see, and accepting my flaws and the fact that I am IMperfect. This doesn’t mean that I don’t learn, change, and grow; it means that I am gentle and kind to myself in spite of it all. It also means being able to look in the mirror and fall in love with the Divine reflection of me.
For most people, self-love can feel unnatural, but caring for myself requires consistent routines; for example:
Staying spiritually centered
Eliminating self-criticism
Being kind and positive
Acknowledging my efforts
Expressing gratitude
Having compassion – even with those that don’t deserve it
Letting go of worry
Trusting and forgiving myself even when I’ve messed up
Being completely and nakedly honest with myself, and accepting all that is and comes with who I am
Love by any definition of the word (kindness, affection, respect, sensitive attunement, and shared companionship) is not only hard to come by; it is even more difficult to accept. Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of having wonderful and loving friendships and relationships, but over the years I’ve also invested time in black-hole relationships – relationships where the energy I gave was not returned, and I ended up highly disappointed and hurt. Because I put so much time and energy into loving deeply without reciprocation, I went through emotional pain and bouts of feeling rejected. More so, when someone was loving towards me, I’d experience conflict between their perception of me and my core identity.
I reacted with suspicion and distrust because my fear of intimacy was provoked. Luckily, I quickly snapped out of these challenges earlier in life and began to accept and love myself; this led to the ebb and flow of some wonderful and meaningful relationships. Now when I recognize that a relationship I have isn’t serving me well – whether it’s personal, platonic, or professional – I release it and let go.
I’ve learned that it’s necessary to take inventory of my relationships and the things that affect self-love. We are a nation obsessed with how we physically look (we diet, go on nutritional binges, and detox in an effort to look and feel good on the outside), but if what is going on emotionally does not match our spiritual desire, we can never attain the level of self-love we deserve. Our equilibrium is off when a split between our divinity and humanity has taken place, but if we can learn to trust and hear the inner voice of love – we’ll experience deeper and stronger self-love that will lead us beyond the boundaries of our short life, to where God is all in all.
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Below Nava shares why she chose the photos for her self-love collage:
SUNSET– I am blessed and humbled to be able to have an amazing view of the sunset from my apartment deck. When I moved into the space it was a direct manifestation of what I’ve always wanted – a constant reminder to me that the simple pleasures in life are not as far away from us as we’d like to think.
MEDITATION – Every morning I go to a lake right by my job to meditate. It’s so peaceful and quiet, so this is where I begin my morning, and talk to myself with kindness and the certainty of my own soul.
WORKING THE HILL – Self-care is a part of loving who I am, so in addition to exercising my mind and soul, I include physical exercise. After coming to California from the East Coast I’ve been more active, enjoying Mother Nature and what it offers.
GREAT LOVE– My partner (pictured on the left) is my best friend and confidante. We’ve been together 14 years, and she’s one of few people that truly gets me. Our relationship wouldn’t work if it weren’t for the fact that love is the true expression of our own heart’s energy. There is intensity in how we love ourselves first but each other unconditionally.
KINGDOM – Finally, I love the quote by Ajame, “Let no one enter your inner kingdom unless they come with love” because I’m a firm believer that the most life changing growth anyone can experience is learning to completely love, to let go of conditions, and to believe in themselves.
Happy Friday, Phoenixes! Love yourself fiercely.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
Love Yourself First! Friday is an interview series featuring phenomenal and resilient women who share their self-love stories – vulnerable, honest and heartfelt stories, shedding light on how life’s challenges bring a new level of self-acceptance and how making daily practical self-care practices a priority deepens self-love. You’ll find comfort in knowing you’re not alone when it comes to figuring out how to love yourself.
Here’s our featured Phoenix’s self-love story:
Ashley loves herself first by never giving up on her personal growth and dreams. “My motto is Get better every day. I am open-minded, and I love new experiences because I learn so much about myself and what I didn’t know I was capable of.”
When it comes to a personal routine, Ashley makes sure to incorporate some form of spiritual practice, so she prays every day because it’s very important to her. In addition to strengthening her faith through prayer, Ashley discovered yoga a few months ago and thought, “Where have you been all my life?!” She feels it could have saved her a lot of stress if she’d started sooner. “I am so happy to go to class once (and sometimes twice) a week.”
Ashley’s openness to life has also changed her definition of beauty; she returned to natural hair and loves taking care of it, as well as trying new styles. “It’s such a beautiful journey that has changed the way I define beauty for myself and others. I’ve inspired many of my friends to embrace their natural beauty as well.”
Her quest to get better every day doesn’t stop there. She is also a pescatarian. After getting sick with an unknown gastrointestinal disease, Ashley stopped eating red meat in college. She stopped eating all other meats almost four years ago, and the process has completely changed the way she feels. “I’ve not been sick with GI diseases since making those changes. I pay a lot of attention to what I eat and do because it has a direct correlation to how I feel; so simple, yet so true.”
A common theme in Ashley’s self-love journey is positive change, and she’s also learned it through the power of letting go. About a year and a half ago, she went through a rough breakup with her child’s father. The situation deeply hurt and emotionally scarred her, and it took a long time to understand how she was supposed to move on with her life. Fortunately, with help from wise, loving people, she eventually learned a lesson from the experience; she forgave herself and him. “I must admit that I am a better person because of it. I have redefined what it means to be a single mother. I am just so empowered by the fact that, no, I didn’t plan to raise my daughter as a single mother, but yes, I am going to make the best life for us.”
Ashley chose three photos that demonstrate self-love in action, and in one of them she’s standing outside the apartment she rented right after the breakup with her child’s father: “To me it means so much. I overcame. I could do it alone even though I didn’t think I could, especially with the help of God.”
Join the LYFF community! Over 50 women have shared their self-love stories; be the next one. Send an email. Just put “My LYFF Story” in the subject line, and you’ll be contacted by the Phoenix Team with details on how to participate.
Ayanna Jordan is founder of The Phoenix Rising Collective. She is a personal development coach creating and facilitating dynamic women-centered, self-care workshops with a focus on how putting self-love into action can transform your life. She also creates training programs and group coaching that empowers women’s professional growth in authentic leadership, entrepreneurship, and passion-filled work. Her interactive, holistic approach inspires action and creates a non-judgmental, safe and supportive space for women to truly explore and affirm who they are, what they want and how they want to do it.
“I love myself first by doing what makes me happy,” Teneele says. Making time to do things that bring her joy and meaning helps this aspiring yoga instructor identify what makes her unique. She journals, writes poetry, and reads books about history, culture, and health – and if that’s not enough for enjoyment, Teneele also listens to diverse genres of music. “When I’m in my zone, I get lost in the beats, rhythms, and lyrics. Music really is a universal language, and it allows me to feel connected to everyone and everything.”
Teneele is also a no-fuss kind of girl, so she keeps her natural hair regimen very organic. Whether she’s rocking a ‘fro or twists (like you see in the photo), she loves that her hair is healthy, soft, and versatile. This natural beauty also wants to be healthy from the inside out, so in January she became a pescetarian, and the process has positively pushed her to learn more about her body and what it needs to operate at its fullest capacity. She loves trying new recipes and foods, and even makes herbal infusions and medicines!
She has also made yoga an integral part of her life, and it has helped her achieve clarity, peace, strength, and balance. “It’s cool to see how much I’ve grown with my yoga practice, and I’ve been inspired to become a yoga instructor. I want to provide health and wellness services to underserved youth, and show them the importance of eating well, being self-sufficient, breathing, centering themselves, eliminating stress, and having focus,” she says.
To rejuvenate, Teneele begins each day with prayer and realizes that it definitely makes a difference in her day. Without prayer she says, “I feel disconnected, and it’s easier for the stresses and worries of the day to get the best of me. When I seek the Creator, my mind and heart are at ease. I know that I’m loved, and my needs and wants are being met far beyond my expectations.”
She is a Phoenix rising, and we appreciate her sharing how she’s self-love in action. Want more? Well, you can peruse, Teneele’s beautiful line of jewelry on Etsy!
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.
We’re very inspired by Janine’s self-love story, so of course it’s time to share it with you! She loves herself by creating “me” time – quality time that gives her space to figure out what she requires to move in a direction that’s beneficial to growth. “The time I create for myself enables me to cater to the desires of my mind, body, and soul,” she says.
On a weekly basis, she exercises her mind with inspiring reads that support her success in life. In addition to reading, Janine takes time to express her thoughts through words or visual art, strengthening her communication skills so that she’s able to relate to others in a way that is more authentic.
She loves and cares for her body by getting plenty of rest, engaging in physical movement through dance and weight training, treating her natural hair with care and thinking well of it, consuming nourishing foods that she prepares, and enjoying sunbathing sessions. “I consider nature to be a healer of sorts. Therefore, the act of sitting outside gifts me with an opportunity to observe and become receptive to ideas and the healing calm that the quiet of nature brings,” she shares. Being in nature and relaxing outside under the sun brings comfort to her soul.
Janine’s self-care regimen creates a deeper love for who she is, and also leaves room for her to offer love to others.
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem. Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.
HEY, PHOENIX! What’s on your agenda for New Year’s Eve? Whatever you’re planning our hope is that it involves some reflection on 2012. The word, Sankofa, in the Akan language, means to ‘go back and fetch it.’ In other words, know your past, to understand your future. Have you examined your personal past? Are you conscious of your actions and decisions? Your habits (great, good, bad, ugly)? What are you manifesting? Let’s be clear, DON’T dwell; that isn’t healthy (and for goodness sake, forgive yourself for mistakes). However, DO gain some understanding as to why you do what you do. Right? Go back and fetch it! In order to break old patterns and for positive change to occur, self-reflection is necessary. So, instead of making another ‘tired’ resolution (yes, we said it!), have the courage to make a promise, a real declaration for some part of your life. What do you really want? Are you willing to do the work to bring it to fruition?
Reflect. Visualize. Declare. Act.
Go ahead, I love myself; therefore, I promise to___________________. I declare that I will_____________________.
This photo of Corrine represents her transition back to natural hair. She paced herself through the process and took a year to learn how to take care of her natural tresses (including what products work best for her hair type and the benefits for her overall health). Corrine says, “Today I’m rocking a ‘fro, which is something I didn’t feel comfortable with a few years ago. I’ve grown to love me, which started with loving my hair! Going through this journey helped me realize I can accomplish even more.”
How inspiring is she? We definitely love how this Phoenix loves herself first. What courage! Thanks for sharing your story, Corrine. Keep shining!
Happy Friday. Love who you are fiercely!
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.
These are some of the ways this beautiful doctoral student, Simone, loves herself first: writing poetry, showing gratitude for her resilience/talents/opportunities, and laughing. (We love that!) She also says, “Eating well/clean – I try my very best to eat well. I have one green smoothiea day, and eat mostly fruits and vegetables throughout the day. I also drink lots of water. Eating cleangives me the energy to do the things I want and need to do throughout the day.”
Simone also takes time in the morning for balance and spiritual practice by lighting white candles, burning frankincense, and praying. “I thank the Creator for another day to become more beautiful. Before I leave my apartment, I pick from my bowl of angel cards and ask that the card be present in my life. My spirituality is very important to me,” she says.
Her daily routine is very important as it encourages her to accomplish the mission she has set for the day (and the days following), including being confident and showing love to herself and others.
This radiant Phoenix is an inspiration; her diligence to self-care is empowering, and we appreciate her courage and willingness to share!
Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.
Thanks for sharing, Simone. You are definitely a Phoenix rising! Happy Friday.