The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action


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Happy 2014 from The PRC: What’s Your Word for the Year?

We are very excited about the new year because we’ve got a lot more inspiring articles, programs, and series in store for you. Our word, our theme for 2014 is BALANCE. Women are responsible for and juggle a multitude of things with our families, careers, communities, and of course, ourselves. So, the question becomes, “How do we create balance so that we are happy and healthy?”

Our goal is to tackle this topic with care so that we empower women to intentionally make balance a part of the daily routine. Our contributing writers will share their experiences on aspects of maintaining balance, as well as provide some insight on what to do when things are totally out of alignment and we need to come “back to the middle,” as India Arie so beautifully sings.

What is your word for 2014? What area of your life are you consciously making an effort to strengthen? What are you giving your full attention for positive self-growth? Patience? Focus? Health? Love? Happiness? Whatever your word is this year, make The PRC a space for getting the support, encouragement, and of course, inspiration, you need to keep moving forward throughout the journey.

Lastly, did you notice our new look? This is our way of starting fresh, thanking the awesome women who’ve participated in bringing our mission to life, and showing our supporters that The Phoenix Rising Collective represents real women doing extraordinary things!

Let’s continue being self-love in action. Happy 2014.

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Bouncing Back After Baby: Learning and Loving the Skin You’re In

post_pregnancy[black_women]“Beauty is present in all creation, but the danger lies in the fact that, because we human beings are often cut off from the Divine Energy, we allow ourselves to be influenced by what other people think. We deny our own beauty because others can’t or won’t recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.” – Paulo Coelho

It has been said that imitation is the highest form of flattery. My response to this statement has always been, “Well, it depends on what or who I’m trying to imitate and why.” What is the intention behind contemplating imitation in whatever form(s) it may manifest? What do I stand to gain, if anything? How much of myself will I potentially lose and/or sacrifice?

Through my personal experiences and observations, I’ve witnessed some women, particularly mothers, and more specifically mothers who are of color, attempting to imitate the images defined as beautiful by mainstream American and European cultures. The images painted are very vivid and could lead us to believe that there is a one-size fits all model for our bodies and what they should look like in general, moreover, what they should look like after 10 months (yes, I said 10 months after pregnancy) and a year or two of breastfeeding.

I’ll examine our conditioned thought processes around what our bodies should and/or should not look like post-pregnancy, as the post-pregnancy time frame can range from six months to six years after childbirth. I’ll also travel briefly through history exploring the journey of a specific woman of color and how her life experiences largely contributed to western cultural misconceptions about our bodies. Lastly, I want to offer some recommendations that could shift our views about our bodies and help us learn to fully love the skin we’re in!

Hottentot Venus

sarah baartmanHaving extensively studied Cultural Anthropology in undergrad, I’m an advocate for the ‘Out of Africa’ theory. This theory simply posits that human life originated in the region currently known as Africa. Thus, many of the people who were and are born in this region have distinct physical features that may help to distinguish the specific area/country they are from. One of the key features for many people born in this region of the world (especially those located south of the equator) is brown to dark brown skin complexion. Furthermore, a key feature of some of the brown to dark brown skin women from southern parts of Africa are broad noses, thick and full lips, tightly curled hair, wide hips, medium to largely rounded buttocks, and medium to large breasts that may or may not appear less perky or “sag” before or after childbirth.

At the point that European colonists “explored” various countries in Africa during the 1400s – 1900s, the physical characteristics of many women as described above were of vast interest to them. So much in fact, a Khoikhoi woman of color and mother named Saartjie “Sara” Baartman, from what is now known as Eastern Cape, South Africa, became a spectacle on exhibition throughout London and France during the early 1800s. Saartjie, who became known as “Hottentot Venus,” possessed a dark skin complexion, thick lips, tightly coiled hair, and a natural full figured physical structure. Her size could be comparable to a modern-day woman wearing a size 16. Apparently, this was something these Europeans had never seen so they coerced her into involuntary servitude. This form of slavery was for the primary purpose of marauding Saartjie’s body in caged environments that also showcased other “oddities” and “animals” for public viewing. Saartjie’s treatment during her tenure in Europe was less than that of a zoo animal. The intention was to convince themselves of racial superiority; and more specifically in this case, to convey that African women’s bodies were naturally of lesser human value – primitive and animalistic.

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After Saartijie’s death at the young age of 26 in 1816, her remains were dissected. Her brains and vagina were pickled and placed in jars, and a plaster cast of her body was displayed in the Musee del’Homme (Museum of Man) in France until 1971.

No, you’re right. You didn’t ask for a history lesson; however, highlighting the tragic story of Saartjie Baartman is important to understanding the ideological framework behind her inhumane treatment, and is central to recognizing that we are still being delivered the same exploitative, unrealistic messages about our bodies; furthermore, within these messages lies the idea that we are somehow abnormal.

Redefining Beautiful

Take a moment and think about the last time you watched TV.  As you very impatiently waited for Liv and Fitz’s next scene to continue on Scandal, you were hit with at least five different commercials telling you to nip, tuck, pluck, straighten, lighten, lose, cover up, conceal, brighten, whiten, leave in, take out, and permanently say goodbye to SOME part of your body. This message was more than likely presented to you by someone that physically did not look like you, obviously doesn’t wear your size, has no visible stretch marks after claiming to have given birth to two or more children, and apparently has A LOT of time on her hands.

Similar to Saartjie Baartman, the divine essence of who we are as mothers and women of color with distinct physical features is rarely embraced and portrayed as naturally beautiful. Instead there is a great imbalance within American culture and mainstream media depicting us as exotic, hypersexualized, long-haired, weave-wearing, big breast and big booty divas – when the reality is that our physical beauty ranges in all shapes, sizes, skin complexions, hair textures, and facial features.

So, when we learn stories about women like Saartjie Baartman, we must honor her legacy by drawing upon her strength when our inner struggles with our post-baby bodies get the best of us. We can challenge the images that suggest we subscribe to insane workout plans and diet regimens to lose the extra 10 to 15 (or even 20 pounds) that may have been gained during pregnancy.

By deeply looking within and truly accepting the inherent beauty present in ourselves as vessels created to carry life, we will realize that there is no need for imitation or replication. There is only room for extending ourselves grace, for remaining patient with our natural physical changes and transitions after child birth, and for doing the best we can to maintain healthy balanced lifestyles.

Pregnancy Facts

So, let’s quickly recall the key facts we learn from our doctors, as well as books about what an average healthy pregnant woman “should” look like:

  1. Expect to gain minimally 25 pounds which is comprised mostly of fluid and actual weight of the baby.
  2. Eat healthy balanced meals during pregnancy and try to maintain an active lifestyle which could possibly facilitate an easy pregnancy and labor.
  3. Moisturize the belly with cocoa or shea butter to prevent stretch marks.
  4. Breasts will begin to swell from milk production primarily during the third trimester.
  5. Breast feeding after childbirth for up to six months to a year will help the uterus contract and return to its pre-pregnancy size as well as help burn calories encouraging weight loss.

 

My reality looked like this during my pregnancies:

  1. I gained an average of 45 pounds between both pregnancies because I ate everything in sight!
  2. I was not very physically active before pregnancy, so I was not intrinsically motivated to become more active during or after pregnancy.
  3. I breast fed both of my boys for two years (don’t judge me). I returned to my pregnancy size after having my first son. I was in my early 20s, not fully into a career, had more free time, and enjoyed the nesting phase. My six pack returned and my breasts remained perky.
  4. I was in my late 20s when I gave birth to my second son, fully into a career, had a whole lot less free time, already raising a very active child, and didn’t allow myself to enjoy nesting time. He is four years old and my body has not (and very possibly will not) return to how it looked before pregnancy with him. My six pack is quite questionable and my breasts although small in size, now sag.
  5. I have stretch marks on every part of my body that was literally STRETCHED during each pregnancy!

 

Life After Birth

PhotoGrid_1386818902866This may sound a lot like your reality as well, so please believe that you’re not in this alone. I have definitely fallen into the abyss of mainstream media messages, and thought that if I forced myself into some extensive workout regimen and low carb diet, I’d miraculously lose weight, gain self-esteem, and become more beautiful. However, after each failed attempt, I found that I felt spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically worse than I had before I even started having children.  In fact, it was my children, my boys, who taught (and continue to teach) me the very lesson I still struggle to internalize, “I’m perfectly fine just the way I am, and I’m loved unconditionally.”

During other times of vulnerability and insecurity about my body, my significant other quotes the comedian, Katt Williams, who talks about women with stretch marks, “Either you was big and got small, or you was small and got big – either way, I’m loving on you.”

And finally, I’m blessed to have other women of color who are mothers in my Sistah Circle that affirm my body and me. We share stories about how our hips, no matter the size, possess the cradle to bring forth life and how our stretch marks are love scars gifted to us by God as we carried and birthed future generations. We explain how our breasts have metaphorically nursed generations of kings and queens, Gods and Goddesses, and how each time we look into our children’s eyes, we are reminded of how amazing and miraculous we are as human beings because we can contribute such goodness and greatness to the world.

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Loving the Skin I’m In

So the next time you look at your post-pregnancy body with disgust and disdain:

  1. Challenge yourself to question the intention behind the thoughts. Then refocus and attempt to think of affirming and positive sayings or mantras to bring into awareness the true beauty you possess. This really works! Classic case of mind over matter.
  2. Learn to listen to your body. Silence the thoughts in your mind when necessary and listen to your womb, your digestive tract, your shoulders, your back, and your feet – to name a few. All of these areas are in alignment with each other and can offer very real suggestions about what type of foods and exercises that work specifically for YOU to gain optimal health. I highly encourage you to work with healthcare practitioners to develop a plan designed to cater to your body’s needs.
  3. Surround yourself with uplifting and encouraging women and mothers who can relate to your experiences and challenges, but who also are actively striving towards maintaining healthy and balanced lifestyles such as you.
  4. Make time to connect with your children to do fun activities. My boys have me rollerblading, skate boarding, playing soccer, attempting to swim, wrestling, climbing monkey bars and many other extra-curricular goings-on. Much of these things I recall doing in my youth but gave up once I entered adulthood. You’ll spend quality time with your children, burn some calories, and admire their greatness in helping you become the woman and mother you are today.
  5. Extend gratitude to all our foremothers through prayer, meditation, visualization, or other methods. They labored HARD for us to be in many of the positions we’re in now. I know that we still have quite a long way to go, but their contributions to the world and contemporary American society have afforded us the right to vote, to educational access opportunities, to quality healthcare and housing, and to make informed decisions about our bodies and how we’re portrayed.
  6. Last but not least, be easy on yourself, honor your heart, and breathe.

 

To learn more about Sara Baartman:

Race and Erasure: Sara Baartman and Hendrick Cesars in Cape Town and London, Pamela Scully and Clifton Crais; Journal of British Studies , Vol. 47, No. 2 (April 2008), pp. 301-323

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About the Author:

Kaneesha_bio_pic[shine]W. KaNeesha Allen is the Motherhood Empowerment contributor for the Phoenix Rising Collective. She is an educator with extensive project management, student support services, and community outreach experience in K-12 and higher education institutions.  She is also the mother of two extremely rambunctious and fun loving boys – Ausar and Mikah. Seeking to master the balance between being a highly engaged mother and taking time to BE with herself in the divine energy of the universe, KaNeesha finds peace, solace, and regeneration through meditation, Vinyasa yoga, and her “Sistah Circle”. She welcomes mothers from everywhere to join her on a journey of self-discovery and evolution towards harnessing, embodying, and emoting the Goddess power within.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Our May Tribute to Mothers Ends with Yolanda

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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday, and this is the last self-love story in our May Tribute to Mothers series. As you know, we extended an invitation to three mothers and they all accepted, so we asked them thoughtful questions about self-love, and they eloquently answered with wisdom!  The last story in the tribute series comes from Yolanda.

Yolanda is the mother of Akil Houston, one of the contributing writers for the forthcoming book, Chasing My Father, Finding Myself: Journeys to Healing and Forgiveness.  We extended the invitation to her because she is spiritually conscious, committed to helping women build healthy self-esteem, and full of inspiring words of wisdom and truth. Akil asked his mother these heartfelt questions, and here are her responses! Thank you, Mama Yolanda.

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How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

As I reflect on this question I am reminded of a piece of sage wisdom given to me by an elder: “Baby, if I don’t take care of me, I will not be able to take care of anyone else.” She provided this tidbit as she was preparing to take a road trip with her 18-year old niece. In order to take this road trip she had to find a caretaker for her husband who was terminally ill. She instilled in me the need to make sure that I lovingly took care of me, and to make myself a very high priority, as opposed to giving until I was worn out.

I have learned to embrace my passion for reading books or watching television shows that have absolutely no socially redeeming value, for example watching Scandal or reading romance novels. In the bigger picture of life, watching Scandal will not cure world hunger and reading romance novels will not bring world peace. However, what they will do is provide a bit of down time that brings me peace and feeds my soul.  Now this doesn’t mean that I don’t read books or articles of substance, it just means that I need a break to recharge my battery.

There are also times when I just need to be around small children who are able to smile and laugh as if this is the greatest gift anyone could ever give.

When deeply stressed, I will retreat to my altar space to have a good conversation with my Yeye Oshun only asking that she listen, allowing me to reach a place of clarity.

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc.)

My spiritual practice demonstrates the greatest show of self-care. While sitting in my altar space is quietly refreshing, I know that I can access that spiritual essence from wherever I may find myself.

Alternative healing practices such as acupuncture, chiropractic medicine, and massage have come to be the most effective methods of healing for me. Now, that does not mean that I won’t use westernized medicine if needed, it just means that alternative medicines have been the provider of the greatest healing for me. It was alternative healing practices that discovered the root of my chronic ear infections, laryngitis, and swelling as opposed to the numerous medications provided by my western physician that only masked my food sensitivities and allergies. My basic and most enjoyable form of exercise was dance. I danced for over twenty years taking classes, performing, and teaching until I had a serious fall at work and suffered a back and knee injury.

I now find that there is no form of exercise that gives me as much pleasure as dance.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

When I met my son’s father, we were both in college. He was a junior and I, a freshman; it was instant love. He was so handsome, self-sufficient, and intelligent. We had talked a great deal about what our lives would be like once we graduated and were married.  He was going to be an educator and I had plans to become a school social worker. At that point, I felt as though I loved him more than life itself. We always used protection so I was not worried about becoming pregnant; however, at one point the protection did not work.  I had been sick with a seemingly endless ear infection and strep throat and was on antibiotics for several weeks. Little did I know, the antibiotics and my form of birth control did not mix.  Upon finding out that I was pregnant, he informed both me, and our parents that there was no way he could marry me or provide for our child. Graduation and attending grad school were his highest priorities. Once he achieved his goals, he would then be in a better position to take care of a child.

I was devastated and wondered how this man, whom I loved so much, who I would have given my last everything, could say this to me.  At that point, everything changed; I had to make it for my son and me. Knowing that I always had the support of my family, knowing that I could go home at any time, and knowing that I could ask for help and not have to be constantly reminded of how much my family had sacrificed for me, made the task of raising a child doable.

Being a single mom did not allow me to take the time to view issues as obstacles or challenges, I just had to make sure that my son was taken care of.  I also realized that putting my son’s father’s needs above mine was the greatest mistake that I had ever made. I came to realize that by loving him more than I was willing to love me, I had not set any expectations for his behavior, allowing him to do whatever he wanted while making excuses for his lack of responsibility. It was through that lesson, that I came to realize that self-love was not selfish, and that I was and needed to be important to me. If I was not aware of my value, no one else would ever be aware of my value.

What have you learned about yourself from being a mother? How has it helped your personal development?

I have learned the importance of having patience, humility, and the ability to laugh at myself. As a parent, just when you believe that your child would never do anything to embarrass you, they do something to challenge your parenting.  Sometimes your child will say something that makes you want to laugh, but you know as a parent that sometimes that laugh is really about something that you have told him/her, interpreting what you have said in a manner that you never intended.

Things that I thought were so important to being a great parent, really had very little to do with true parenting. Loving with expectations for behavior, setting limits, and being consistent were some of the greatest gifts I have received as a parent. The ability to multitask and listen beyond the spoken words have all been great assets to and for my personal development.

What have you learned from self-love?

I have learned that self-love is the greatest gift I can give to myself while showing others how I expect to be treated. It is looking beyond the pimple on my chin, the graying hair, the last ten pounds that I need to lose, or the self-sabotaging criticism that can destroy a person quicker than anything.

It’s about trusting in myself, being able to forgive me and not carrying those things I will never be able to change. It’s making sure that I love me and can have no less than one big heartfelt laugh a day. But most of all, it is about never lying to myself. It is about finding that inner peace, and appreciating the beauty of the simple things that life has to offer. It is also knowing that I am connected to spirit and how spirit is connected to me.

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Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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It’s Love Yourself First! A Mother’s Day Tribute

Shirley_LYFF_collage

It’s Love Yourself First! A Tribute to Mothers. Usually we celebrate our self-love stories on Friday; however, because we’re honoring our mothers we’re doing things a little differently by sharing our first story on Mother’s Day. Since May is their special month (although every day of every month should be a celebration of motherhood), we’re dedicating LYF to them.

We asked three mothers to participate; they agreed, so we asked them thoughtful questions about self-love, and they eloquently answered with wisdom!  So, over the next couple of weeks in May you’ll hear profound stories of resilience, courage, and love from seasoned women who embrace change!

Our hope is that you will be inspired by their journeys, and realize that your mistakes, challenges, and obstacles should not be viewed as failures but invaluable lessons that (when learned) most certainly make you stronger and more capable of fulfilling your purpose.

The first self-love story is from Shirley, mother of the Phoenix Rising Collective’s founder, Ayanna. She shares how she learned to move forward after several physical and emotional challenges in her life.

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How do you love yourself first? What does that mean to you?

It means that I make time to take care of me, as it is essential for rejuvenation and balance. It helps with making decisions that respect what I value most in life.

What actions demonstrate the self-care you provide to your mind, body, and soul? (Exercise, healthy eating, spiritual practice, etc.)

I usually start with meditation to get my mind right for the day; giving honor to the Higher Power in my life is important to me. In addition to that I always take at least one day out of the week to pamper myself. This could be getting a manicure/pedicure, shopping on my own for items that are creative, working on projects that I love like sketching, arts and crafts, making costumes for my Sunday school students’ plays and musicals, watching sunrises and sunsets, and most recently going to my local fitness center to work with a personal trainer. I do things that bring me peace.

Is there an obstacle or challenge that you’ve overcome that led you to a deeper love for who you are?

Speaking up for myself! The older I get the more I value speaking up for what I believe in. I don’t let things go by. When I was younger, finding my voice was always a challenge. I felt like if I said something it would hurt the other person’s feelings, but now I consider myself in the situation, and I honor what I bring to the experience.

Another challenge for me was regular visits to the doctor’s office. I wasn’t going as often as I should out of fear of the results and not valuing its importance. When I had to have a biopsy on my thyroid and a cyst removed from my left breast (both were benign), I made a vow to keep up with my doctor’s appointments, because longevity is important to me, and I also want to be more in tune with my body’s rhythm.  I kept faith, and pulled through those health scares. These difficult experiences gave me the courage I needed to commit to my physical health.

Divorce at an older age was also difficult, but it made me stronger. I realized that I stayed married for as long as I did (almost 20 years) because I was in love with the idea of being married, not the person. Fortunately, I recognized that truly loving myself meant that I had to do what would make me happy, and getting a divorce was the key to opening that door.

I prayed for the marriage to get better, but what the Creator really wanted for my life wasn’t going to happen until I moved forward. I knew that, but gaining the courage to take the first step was the hardest part of the process. Honestly, I didn’t think I would make it but I did. I’m a survivor!  I love my independence; it provides an opportunity to really get in touch with my own feelings, to understand what I need from a relationship, and to have new experiences that really fulfill me. It has been five years now, and I’m happy with where I am and what I’ve learned.

What have you learned about yourself from being a mother? How has it helped your personal development?

Above all, I’ve learned patience, communication, and compassion. Motherhood is challenging and rewarding at the same time, just like life, and as a mother you have to treat each situation you’re face with differently depending on the circumstances or even the child that you’re having the experience with. The same is true of my personal development; I have to be patient with myself, communicate about what I want for my life, and have self-compassion in the midst of the ups and downs along the way.

What have you learned from self-love?

That it absolutely matters that I put myself first; I won’t have anything to give if my well is dry. I’m more compassionate and understanding when I take care of myself. It gives me the energy to give to others. I can be of more service when I haven’t forgotten about my own needs.

Happy Mother’s Day, Phoenixes! Love yourself fiercely.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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Shades of Deeper Meaning: Thoughts on Love, Loss, Resilience, and Poetry

For National Poetry Month I have chosen to interview three poets whom I have had the pleasure of getting to know. I want to showcase the spirit of this art form through their life experiences. What I hope you will notice is the very unique voices that shape these women. I asked all three the same questions, but the way they chose to answer reinforces the power of how humans identify themselves as individuals, social beings, and collective forces. I also observed that the women, as unique and individually powerful as they are, spoke of similar experiences: pain, resilience, change, and appreciation.

Andrea Daniel

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Who are you?

I am a totally creative person – all arts, culture and entertainment, with a splash of communications. My dreams/vision for my life have never changed since I was a little girl, which means I’ve always been into poetry, singing, dance, theater, writing, video production and voice over work, but my left-brain and right-brain work in tandem, because I’m also a business owner. I have to split my time and mind between the creative and the business side. I am a woman who thrives on positivity, putting it out there and getting it back. I’m a mother of a wonderful 22-year old son who is also a creative type; I am a sister, a daughter, friend to a close circle of like-minded people; a woman who loves to laugh, and a pet owner of a sweet little 13-year old terrier mixed with poodle.

Primarily I’m a writer, as most things I do stem from the realm of writing.

Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your poetic artistry.

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Click photo for more info about
Andrea and Like Gwendolyn.

While I’ve always written poetry, I believe my voice was the strongest in my years of recovery from domestic abuse. In 1992, I left my abusive husband of four years, taking my, then, two-year old son with me and moved from Maryland back to my hometown, Detroit, MI. Needless to say, I wrote a lot of poems after I left; poems about abuse and its effects, and poems about my son when he’d have to leave me for long periods of time because a judge ordered that his father have visitation rights. This was a very painful time for me. My only response was to write about it. Those poems are published in my first poetry book, Like Gwendolyn, and while the entire book is not about abuse, it’s those poems and the poems about my son that tend to resonate most with people.

One of the greatest experiences I’ve had was after graduation from Oakland University in 1985. I worked on a cruise ship, the S.S. Emerald Seas, which was part of the eastern cruise line (I don’t think it still exists). I was part of the five-member song and dance act, TiChand, performing as the floor show on the cruise ship, five nights a week, two shows a night. I was the only American along with four Canadians, and the only Black person in the group. We sailed from Miami, Florida to the Bahamian Islands. I felt like it was exactly what I was supposed to be doing at that time in my life; there was nothing about it that felt foreign to me. Our contract was for six months, but because I have a minor heart condition, which flared up during my solo performance one night, my stay was only for one month. I will never forget it.

Another highlight of my life was after I left my marriage back in 1992. In addition to writing poetry, one of the things that was a great distraction from the upheaval of my life, was the opportunity to write and be the lead vocalist on a House music track called Stars, which was produced by the internationally known House music DJ/producer Carl Craig. My cousin was dating Carl at the time, and she recommended me to work with him when he needed a songwriter and a singer on his newest project. We recorded two tracks, which both became very popular in the House music scene here in the U.S. as well as in Europe. A surreal thing about that experience is, today my son is a House music DJ, and people he knows in the industry still have high regard for the music I did 21 years ago.

Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?

(Andrea extensively spoke of many poets, writers, and artists.) Here are two:

Gwendolyn Brooks. She was one of the first African American poets I was introduced to as a child. The clarity, rawness and lyrical nature of her writing had a big impact on me. I’d met her twice in my life, once when I was 10. She autographed a copy of the book The Black Poets for my father, which I still have. And again I met her while I was in college when I attended a Master Class she conducted at Oakland University. She was a very direct and thoughtful woman.

Nikki Giovanni. One of my favorite books of hers is Cotton Candy on a Rainy Day. From Nikki I learned that poetry can be fun, serious, and well, Nikki Giovanni is just an awesome poet and woman. I’ve heard her speak twice, and it was from her that I also learned to cure writer’s block: learn more about [your] subject, read something, study something, then the words will come.

Shilpa Venkatachalam

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Who are you?

I am from, Bombay, India. I left India when I was 20 years old. I completed my Masters in English Literature at the University of Durham, U.K. and followed it with a Ph.D. in literature and critical theory at the University of Nottingham, U.K. where I also taught briefly. I currently teach literature and philosophy at the University of the West Indies, Trinidad. Suffice to say, I am, however, at a crossroads in my life and am soon to make a switch into the area of public health and policy fueled by a desire to make a difference in the area following the experiences that resulted from my father’s diagnosis and recent battle with cancer, which came to a close a few months ago.

How do you identify yourself in terms of your artistic craft?

As a writer, writing is simultaneously one of the most difficult things to me and the most ‘natural’ because it is through writing that life unfolds itself; it is through writing that moments of clarity, epiphany, whatever one chooses to call them present themselves to you in order for you to chase them through dark alleys, winding roads, and serpent like pathways.

It is always a hard thing to say what one’s poetry is about: life, love, disappointment, betrayal, faith, regret, pleasure, pain, ecstasy – all of these and yet none of these. For if I could capture what it is all about, I would perhaps not write at all. Writing is the very quest; it entails a process of searching and chasing, a curious struggle to articulate the unsaid, incomprehensible. And in that attempt, a hope to find at least a glimmer of understanding and of capturing. That, at least, has been my hope.

Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your poetic artistry.

Life, for me has been full of surprises and unexpected twists and turns. There comes a point in your life when everything comes to a head, when one difficult situation is relieved by another one. The past three years for me have been a testimony to this; from my own serious illness, to my fathers battle with advanced cancer and his subsequent loss, weeks on end spent in the critical care unit, and the loss of a close friend, and then my own crisis as a result of these events – a crisis of the self, a crisis of what life really means, a crisis of relationships and people. It seemed nothing would give.

But through all this, one begins to understand oneself; one begins to realize the dignity and strength of people who suffer and see the suffering their loved ones are going through; one sees a remarkable humanity and empathy that ironically shines through when people are going through the most testing times of their lives. This fantastic ability of people to pierce through, beyond their own pain and reach out to the other has been most inspiring to me. The renewal of faith in life and in people is unrivaled, stunning, magnificent and nothing short of remarkable. There is also the transience of all things in life, something I continue to battle with to understand, an urge to grasp it, to embrace it, to resist it, all at the same time.

Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?

As far as favorite writers or books are concerned, I find myself gravitating toward them depending on where I am in life at that particular point: what experiences I am going through or have gone through, what my philosophy at that moment is. Everything is a process of metamorphosis, so it could be mountaineering books, it could be Borges, it could be Graham Greene, it could be Em and the Big Hoom. Different writers, different books touch and impact me at different points in my life.

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A Poem by Shilpa Venkatachalam:

Here and There

You want guarantees,

I can offer you none.

Like a subatomic particle I exist in two different states simultaneously

I am wave

And I am particle

And come into being only for an instant that disappears before it has decided to stay.

I’m already planning to leave you before I have even met you.

I’m already preparing to destroy before I have even created.

This is my tragedy and this is my bliss

I am clothed in contradictions

Like matter and anti-matter

I am immersed in inconsistency

Before I have committed

I know I will deceive

I cannot offer you what I do not possess

I cannot possess that which you want me to offer to you.

To sustain anything is a challenge I am unable to meet

Every second explodes with a million alterations

That invade my being

And that make it quiver.

How can I offer you a guarantee

When I have never known what it means.

___________________________________________ 

 Jan Worth

Jan_Quote

Who are you?

I was born in Canton, Ohio to a preacher and his wife in 1949. My mother was 39 when she had me.  I have a sister who is ten years older than me, and I have a brother who is seven years older than me.

Lately I’ve been thinking about the endurance of one’s very first impressions of the world.  My world was full of people who were bigger than me.  They were imposing figures but nobody was quite happy.  I was surrounded by people who were fairly ill at ease and who made a lot of decisions about me. I didn’t really experience the world as a place that I had control over.  My job, it seemed, was to bring slivers of joy into this rather depressive unit.  Apparently I used to hold my breath until I blacked out to get their attention.  I remember only one of these episodes.  On the other hand, I somehow felt like I wasn’t really “one of them” and so I always assumed whatever was going to happen to me would have no connection to them. I was surrounded by religion, scripture, religious music, words – and my poems have a lot of the iambic pentameter of the King James Version in them.

My family always expected catastrophe:  my father’s father was killed during the Depression and his family lost their farm.  My mother’s father was a traveling evangelist who was always leaving, leaving, leaving, and her mother lost her mind.  I’ve gradually learned that the worst doesn’t always happen.  That’s been a great relief.

nightblind

To learn more about
Jan and her novel, Night Blind,
click the photo.

So, this avoids the question of who I am now.  I am just letting go of those first impressions of the world.  Not everyone else is bigger than me.  It is not my job to make everybody else happy.  I do not want to continue carrying my mother’s grief – she is dead.  I am profoundly in love with using words – I recently used the phrase “sanctimoniously reasonable” and I love how that sounds, and how perfect it is for what I meant at the time. That kind of thing gives me deep pleasure.

I am a woman who’s learning to breathe.  I’m a woman who’s gradually trusting my rhythms and my deep inclinations towards words, but I know words aren’t enough; sometimes, the body knows things – sometimes silence is best.  I’m a woman trying to be in the moment, as the saying goes. I know I can’t be alone all the time, and one of my greatest pleasures is sleeping with my husband.  I mean actually sleeping – the physical refuge and comfort of our conjugal bodies together.  I’m a woman who doesn’t know much of anything for sure.  I think the earth is spectacularly beautiful and I wish we weren’t ruining it.

How do you identify yourself in terms of your artistic craft?

See above – my ear is pretty closely attuned to the cadences of the old scriptures and hymns, even if my content isn’t always. I love working with sound; I want my poems, even the depressed ones, to be melodious. I love interesting words.  I am continually touched by the “natural world,” by air and fragrance and new growth.  I still generally believe in the individual ‘eye’ and ‘I’ although I know a single voice often isn’t enough.  But it’s what I have to work with.  Protestantism is very centered on the individual – on the individual’s private and rightful relationship to God.  In my case, I’ve taken that to mean I have the right to doubt.  And believe me, I do, and feel no guilt.

Please share significant moments in your life that really defined your artistry.

I was at Kent State University when the shootings happened in 1970; it was a turning point for me, making me believe the world was dangerous and sometimes short. I felt quite reckless for a time after that. Peace Corps in Polynesia shaped me in that I took myself on a giant adventure and survived it – I’ve written so much about that that I don’t have much more to say.  Flint has affected me, too, of course – the continual wrestling with its troubles, my first marriage to a Flint man and poet; the deterioration and collapse of our long marriage, the ruin of the place.   And then, discovering the joy, in my 50s, of a man who loves me – wow.  It’s been the biggest surprise of my life, and I’m profoundly grateful.  I’ve had to learn how to write happy poems.

Do you have a favorite poet, writer, and/or artist?

One of my first literary faves was the South African short story writer Nadine Gordimer.  I remember reading one of her short stories when I was about 14 or 15, working as a library page in Coshocton, Ohio.  I remember just standing in the stacks and reading a story where a lonely woman watched a herd of deer – it touched my heart and I thought, wow, you can write like that?  I also love the poems of James Wright, Theodore Roethke, Robert Hass, Adrienne Rich, Elizabeth Bishop, Heather McHugh, Marianne Boruch – many, many, too many to name. I’ve recently been reading Mary Ruefle’s essay collection Madness, Rack and Honey and I’m crazy in love with it.  I like poets who understand the human condition is totally complicated and exasperating, and who doubt the world and love it simultaneously.

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A Poem by Jan Worth

Missiles, October, 1962

My parents said

we should get new tires

in case rubber got rationed

again.  I caught the scent

of fear. Rubber burned the air,

left dismal grit

on Akron’s windowsills.

My mother went to bed,

middle of the day, sleepless,

sweating there for hours.

Rising, she seemed as tired

as before, blanket dents

on a cheek, hair flat on one side.

She left it like that.

I got my period, red splash.

Crawled into my parents’ bed,

rare day when my mother didn’t

get there first. Nestled

in the pride of new pain,

snuggling it, my own.  Got

my first bra, small poking

breasts tender to the touch.

“Little missile girl,” my father

cracked, looking at me mournfully

as if I was about to disappear

in some uranium half-life.

“Stop it,” my mother said.

I didn’t believe the world

would end.  There was going to be

plenty of time for me, to revel in

my vivid hurts, my lucky changes,

my charmed survival after

my mother and father were history.

 ___________________________________________

tcphoto_cw2Traci Currie is a Communication Studies lecturer at University of Michigan-Flint, as well as a knit-crochet artist, writer, and spoken word performer. She has been a part of the art world for over 15 years as an art gallery board member; spoken word series organizer for 5 years; performer, nationally and internationally; and published poet. She believes the PRC will help young women reach their highest potential.  “This organization is about empowering women to take ownership of their lives, claim their identities and be the positive change they wish to see in the world they live.”


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Today’s Phoenix is Teneele.

teneele_blog_graphic“I love myself first by doing what makes me happy,” Teneele says. Making time to do things that bring her joy and meaning helps this aspiring yoga instructor identify what makes her unique. She journals, writes poetry, and reads books about history, culture, and health – and if that’s not enough for enjoyment, Teneele also listens to diverse genres of music. “When I’m in my zone, I get lost in the beats, rhythms, and lyrics. Music really is a universal language, and it allows me to feel connected to everyone and everything.”

Teneele is also a no-fuss kind of girl, so she keeps her natural hair regimen very organic. Whether she’s rocking a ‘fro or twists (like you see in the photo), she loves that her hair is healthy, soft, and versatile. This natural beauty also wants to be healthy from the inside out, so in January she became a pescetarian, and the process has positively pushed her to learn more about her body and what it needs to operate at its fullest capacity. She loves trying new recipes and foods, and even makes herbal infusions and medicines!

She has also made yoga an integral part of her life, and it has helped her achieve clarity, peace, strength, and balance. “It’s cool to see how much I’ve grown with my yoga practice, and I’ve been inspired to become a yoga instructor. I want to provide health and wellness services to underserved youth, and show them the importance of eating well, being self-sufficient, breathing, centering themselves, eliminating stress, and having focus,” she says.

To rejuvenate, Teneele begins each day with prayer and realizes that it definitely makes a difference in her day. Without prayer she says, “I feel disconnected, and it’s easier for the stresses and worries of the day to get the best of me. When I seek the Creator, my mind and heart are at ease. I know that I’m loved, and my needs and wants are being met far beyond my expectations.”

She is a Phoenix rising, and we appreciate her sharing how she’s self-love in action.  Want more? Well, you can peruse, Teneele’s beautiful line of jewelry on Etsy!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. Today’s Phoenix is Corrine.

corrine[lyf]This photo of Corrine represents her transition back to natural hair. She paced herself through the process and took a year to learn how to take care of her natural tresses (including what products work best for her hair type and the benefits for her overall health). Corrine says, “Today I’m rocking a ‘fro, which is something I didn’t feel comfortable with a few years ago. I’ve grown to love me, which started with loving my hair! Going through this journey helped me realize I can accomplish even more.”

How inspiring is she? We definitely love how this Phoenix loves herself first. What courage! Thanks for sharing your story, Corrine. Keep shining!

Happy Friday. Love who you are fiercely!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. This Phoenix is Simone.

simone_lyfThese are some of the ways this beautiful doctoral student, Simone, loves herself first: writing poetry, showing gratitude for her resilience/talents/opportunities, and laughing. (We love that!) She also says, “Eating well/clean – I try my very best to eat well. I have one green smoothie a day, and eat mostly fruits and vegetables throughout the day. I also drink lots of water. Eating clean gives me the energy to do the things I want and need to do throughout the day.”

Simone also takes time in the morning for balance and spiritual practice by lighting white candles, burning frankincense, and praying. “I thank the Creator for another day to become more beautiful. Before I leave my apartment, I pick from my bowl of angel cards and ask that the card be present in my life. My spirituality is very important to me,” she says.

Her daily routine is very important as it encourages her to accomplish the mission she has set for the day (and the days following),  including being confident and showing love to herself and others.

This radiant Phoenix is an inspiration; her diligence to self-care is empowering, and we appreciate her courage and willingness to share!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.

Thanks for sharing, Simone. You are definitely a Phoenix rising! Happy Friday.