The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action


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7 Daily Practices to Revitalize the Mind, Body, and Soul

health_and_wellness[BlackWomen]

Peace and blessings, beloved hearts! I am feeling blessed as I put my pen to paper to share my thoughts, ideas, and experiences with you about living a healthy, wealthy life. In my previous post Health is W.E.A.L.T.H.S: Practicing Self-Care, Maintaining Wellness, I discussed the basic keys to wellness with the acronym W.E.A.L.T.H.S. (water, exercise, air, light, thinking happy thoughts, healthy foods, and sleep). Let’s further explore this concept with some holistic health tips that can be incorporated into your daily life to revitalize the mind, body and soul.

 Water Therapy: Break Fast with Water

Start your day off with water.  One to two cups of warm tea or room temperature water upon rising will cleanse the bowels, energize your body, and clear your mind.  Water enhanced with fresh lemon juice is a simple and easy body cleanser that you can drink daily to decrease mucus and stimulate the digestive system.

 exercise_blogpostExercise: Yoga Therapy – Mountain Pose

We will start off with the foundation of all standing yoga poses: The Mountain Pose.  Even though this is a simple pose, many people still lack proper alignment.  In the words of Master Hip hopper KRS-ONE, “stand upright, not uptight.” Do you stand firm through the stormy weathers of life or do you slouch and mope?

The first thing I teach my students in yoga class is how to stand. Begin by holding the intention of Ankh Udja Seneb (life, health, and prosperity). Mountain is the basic pose for alignment. From an energetic perspective, this pose activates both the root and brow chakra.

Stand with the feet hip-width apart. From the crown through the spinal cord are the points of alignment for this pose. Root yourself into the floor by engaging your feet. The four corners of the feet are grounded, use your imagination to root yourself into the earth. The weight should be evenly distributed between both feet. There is a softening at the knee (or a slight flexion of the knee), as well as a lifting of the quadriceps femoris (the thigh muscles) into the pelvis.

Slightly lift from the crown of the head, aligning it with the torso. The rib cage is knitted, or slightly drawn towards the spine, deepening respiration. The shoulder blades are relaxed after breathing up, back, and down toward the earth. The chin is parallel to the earth. The sacrum is released down. The pelvic floor is lifted and aligned with the torso and head.  The vertebral column is in its naturally curved position.  The body is now in perfect balance. Bring the hands to your heart-center and allow yourself to relax and receive the medicine from this simple pose.

breathe_blogpostAir: Breath Awareness

Bring your awareness to your breath as air flows into your body.  Breathing is your most precious possession; it is powerful and magical because it connects you to your mind and body – the conscious and unconscious.

Proper breathing nourishes your body, reduces stress (which induces relaxation), and opens the way for healing.

Place the hands gently over the naval area.  As you breathe in, allow your belly to expand, and while breathing in, the belly goes in. Feel the movement of your hands as you breathe in and out, slow and deep, expanding and contracting. As you breathe correctly, notice the stillness of your thoughts and the awareness of the life force energy that flows through you completely.

Continue inhaling and exhaling, deep and slow, and with calm and ease – no pressure or control, just awareness.  Allow each breath to bring you to the present moment.  Fill your belly and lungs with your healing breath. Imagine the breath flowing in and out of your body as a shimmery electronic healing presence. Consciously send breath to those parts of you that may be in need of healing.

light_blogpostLight: Vitamin D

The best form of light besides lightness of the heart is soaking in rays from our shining star, the Sun. According to the Vegetarian Cooking School Cookbook by Danny & Charise Vierra, “Every living thing in our world is dependent on sunlight. Without sunlight nothing would live.”

The following discoveries show the benefits derived from the sun:

  1. It lowers blood sugar and blood pressure.
  2. It lowers cholesterol by converting it to vitamin D.
  3. It utilizes calcium and phosphorus.
  4. It increases red and white blood cells.
  5. It strengthens the immune system.
  6. It calms the nerves and increases adrenaline.
  7. It destroys germs on the skin and reverses jaundice.
  8. It increases circulation.
  9. It helps eliminate pesticides and other chemicals from the system.

 

Sunlight is by far the best form of Vitamin D you can receive. Any opportunity that you get to bask in the sun, please do. Small amounts of vitamin D are said to be in dandelion greens, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, vegetable oils, and herbs such as alfalfa, horsetail, nettle, and parsley.

For those of you who may be concerned about sunburn, take a look at this recipe for natural sunscreen.

Ingredients:

 Thinking Happy Thoughts

Negative thinking leads to negative living. We’ve heard this many times, but repetition is the best teacher, so I will say it again, “Thoughts are power.” How you decide to wield this power is up to you. There is a stream of well being that flows, and positive thinking puts you in alignment with this stream, so focus your attention on what brings joy and you will experience more joy.

Affirmation: Consistent adherence to the laws of health are absolutely necessary for spiritual development and success in life. Every cell in my body knows how to be well.

healthy_foods_blogpostHealthy Food: Immune Builders

A few of the best foods to consume to prevent colds and to nourish and protect the body during the harsh winter months are: spirulina, blackstrap molasses, ginger, apples, lemon and other citrus fruits, apples, raw greens (kale, spinach, baby greens), steel cut oatmeal, cayenne, onions, garlic, quinoa. Prepave your way to a healthier lifestyle with high quality organic or sustainably grown fruits & vegetables. Check out Circle 77 for more details on my non-profit organization’s food buying club.

Sleep

Many people are suffering from lack of sleep. Sleep is the greatest rejuvenator! It restores strength to your muscles, nerves, and brain. During sleep the body repairs, re-energizes, and prepares for renewed activity. One hour of sleep before midnight is equal to two hours of sleep after midnight, so make an effort to go to bed before 10 o’clock.

Peaks in melatonin, the body’s natural healing hormone, take place between hours nine and 12PM. If you suffer from insomnia, a soothing salt bath, relaxing stretches, and prayer or meditation can help you. Lastly, eat before sunset so that your body will have time for food digestion, and to prevent interference with your sleep.  Sweet Dreams!

systar_roni_ausetSystar Roni Auset is a licensed yoga instructor, healthy living practitioner, holistic educator, and master joyologist! Her aim is to improve her community’s quality of life by promoting a healthy lifestyle. By offering educational workshops, health oriented events, youth productions, and training programs, Systar Roni teaches and encourages holistic health as a way to empower people to make choices that will positively impact their own health and that of their peers, families, and communities. Using the latest information about nutrition and natural living, as well as sharing knowledge about the benefits of physical activity and meditation, she intends to be a strong source of vitality within the community. If  you would like to schedule a workshop/yoga class, participate in the Circle 77 buying club, or support her work with youth,  please visit The Children Shall Lead Them Productions.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. Today’s Phoenix is Janine.

janine_lyff[collage2-website]We’re very inspired by Janine’s self-love story, so of course it’s time to share it with you! She loves herself by creating “me” time – quality time that gives her space to figure out what she requires to move in a direction that’s beneficial to growth. “The time I create for myself enables me to cater to the desires of my mind, body, and soul,” she says.

On a weekly basis, she exercises her mind with inspiring reads that support her success in life. In addition to reading, Janine takes time to express her thoughts through words or visual art, strengthening her communication skills so that she’s able to relate to others in a way that is more authentic.

She loves and cares for her body by getting plenty of rest, engaging in physical movement through dance and weight training, treating her natural hair with care and thinking well of it, consuming nourishing foods that she prepares, and enjoying sunbathing sessions. “I consider nature to be a healer of sorts. Therefore, the act of sitting outside gifts me with an opportunity to observe and become receptive to ideas and the healing calm that the quiet of nature brings,” she shares. Being in nature and relaxing outside under the sun brings comfort to her soul.

Janine’s self-care regimen creates a deeper love for who she is, and also leaves room for her to offer love to others.

To see more of this beautiful artist’s work follow her on pinterest at janine jackson (wombmind).

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Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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Making Positive Change Happen in Your Life: Awesome Tips and Creative Ways to Achieve Your Personal Goals

simone_aisha[quote]New Year’s resolutions, almost everyone has made one. But the beginning of the year doesn’t have to be the only time to make changes or set goals. It’s important to think outside of the New Year’s box about resolution making. We all have various strategies for making changes. See a change that needs to take place in your life? Hop on it, no matter what month it is.

Working toward achieving a goal should be a daily practice. We’ve all felt overwhelmed when it comes to completing tasks and achieving goals. Breaking down your goals into daily pieces can also help prevent becoming overwhelmed by them and can give you the space to ease into lifestyle changes.

 A to-do list can be a useful tool for achieving daily goals:

  1. Write down what you need to accomplish and do not remove it from the list until it is done!
  2. Hold yourself accountable for every item and reward yourself for completing it.
  3. If for some reason a to-do item cannot be accomplished, make it the very first item for the following day.
  4. Write a message at the top of your list that will encourage your completion of each task.

 

Our favorite encouragement quotes?

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These messages serve as constant reminders that you do, in fact, ‘got this’ and that your power comes from the work you do. So, get out your notepad and werk!

Making a to-do list isn’t the only way to set and achieve your goals. When we have goals that cannot be accomplished in one day, we look to other tools for growth and development, such as a vision board.

A vision board is a great way to visualize your purpose and long term goals:

  1. Break out your favorite magazines.
  2. Cut and paste pictures that reflect your journey onto a large poster board.
  3. Hang up your vision board in a place that you visit every day so that you constantly see your plan for development.
  4. Track your progress.

 

There are tons of ways to visualize your goals and life path. We recognize that creating to-do lists and vision boards, can also be overwhelming. Where do you start? And what happens when you can’t get anything done? How do you lose the stress and get back on track? Answer: We can’t tell you, because you know YOU best. As PhD students, researchers, and instructors, we are constantly on the go. We forget to eat, sleep (which is totally optional in graduate school), and sometimes we forget our to-do lists at home. And then there are moments where we get sidetracked taking self-portraits and posting them (and photos of Ice-T and Napoleon – our cat and dog) to Instagram. These things can make achieving our goals overwhelming, so constantly checking in with ourselves is what gives us room to breathe and get back on track.

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Simone’s Personal Altar and Vision Board
Photo Credit: Simone Savannah

Make time to check in with yourself and affirm your spirit. Create a time for reflection. Before (or after) you break out your favorite M.A.C lipstick and lip liner, really take time to reflect on who you are as well as your desires and needs. This “me time” may help you realize the changes you need to make and how you may choose to go about making them. Additionally, create a space for reflection. Try decorating a table with your favorite pictures (of yourself and loved ones), affirmations, and letters. Visit this space every day. It could serve as a starting point for your day, and a reminder that you are powerful and loved by the most important people in this world.

We believe that setting goals and affirming one’s spirit are necessary for growth and development. As we approached the New Year, our own self-reflections and our friends constantly reminded us that changes needed to be made. We knew that last year’s goals needed revising and that a new year meant we had to throw out old lipsticks and invite something new into our lives. So, today, as you work on completing tasks and taking care of you, we also encourage you to ask yourself, “Turn down for what?” Perhaps who we mean to quote is Maya Angelou when she says, “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

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About the Contributing Writers:

simone_writer[shine]Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably. 

 

aisha_writer[shine]Aisha Upton is a first year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests: Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance.  


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Health is W.E.A.L.T.H.S: Practicing Self-Care, Maintaining Wellness

roni_sunlight[2]

LeRoyna Edwards – Ray of Sunlight
Photo by LeRoyna Edwards

Everyone has free will to choose what she or he desires. Wellness is a natural state of being, and it is my first desire. I realized as a young wom(b)man that in order to be successful in any aspect of my life I must be physically healthy; it is something that my cells yearn for every moment of the day. This desire for wellness motivates me, and I believe it is the foundation for true wealth and joy.

In order to maintain wellness, there are a number of practices – physical and non-physical elements – that are available to us daily. There is an acronym that I read years ago (and I’m unsure of the source now) that represents what I believe to be fundamental to wellness: Health is W.E.A.L.T.H.S.  W.E.A.L.T.H.S. = Water, Exercise, Air (breath), Light (sun and chakras), Thoughts (empowering and positive), Healthy foods (raw), and Sleep.

In other words, if we take time to:

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we will experience vitality and richness from the stream of well being, creating a magnet for success in all of our endeavors.

There is an abundance of wellness; however, the first step towards it, is the desire to have it. Unfortunately, we have to experience a lack of wellness or dis-ease in the body to make us aware of the delicate balance. Dis-ease is rooted in a lack of attention to and awareness about our thoughts and actions, leaving the body unable to properly cope with what’s happening in our lives.

The body is a great teacher, as it uses physical and emotional responses and reactions as lessons in well being. Dis-ease is direct communication from your body to you that something is out of order – serving to push you to be better and to create the desire for a greater level of wellness.

I also believe that we have the ability to heal ourselves through the power of self-discipline, self-control, and self-awareness, as dis-ease usually means that one or more of the requirements for optimum health (water, exercise, air, light, thoughts, healthy food, and sleep) are out of balance. If you relax within the body and ask it for wisdom, it will reveal the therapy needed to restore your health.

quote_roni[article]I will share in upcoming blog posts some of my experiences with self-healing and how to apply the laws of health to your own daily life, exploring the true meaning of wealth. My how-tos will outline effective ways to make healthy habits a natural part of your routine, and these inexpensive, simple tips will help you maintain a happy, harmonious, and holistic lifestyle.

Many of us give so much to the world as nurturers and maintainers of those around us, that we forget to do the things that help us thrive. We forget simple self-care, and over time experience health challenges, dissatisfaction with life, and resentment in our relationships. Self-care is extremely important in the process of attracting an abundance of positive energy and love – for yourself and for others.

This year let’s make a commitment to love ourselves by practicing self-preservation through self-care. For now, I’ll leave you with this affirmation. Speak it, think it, live it: “My health is my wealth. When I take care of my health it is like depositing money in the bank of Abundant Life!”

roniSystar Roni Auset is a licensed yoga instructor, healthy living practitioner, holistic educator, and master joyologist! Her aim is to improve her community’s quality of life by promoting a healthy lifestyle. By offering educational workshops, health oriented events, youth productions, and training programs, Systar Roni teaches and encourages holistic health as a way to empower people to make choices that will positively impact their own health and that of their peers, families, and communities. Using the latest information about nutrition and natural living, as well as sharing knowledge about the benefits of physical activity and meditation, she intends to be a strong source of vitality within the community. If  you would like to schedule a workshop/yoga class, participate in the Circle 77 buying club, or support her work with youth,  please visit The Children Shall Lead Them Productions.

 


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. This Phoenix is Ebony.

ebony_lyfEbony values self-love and care because it helps her to be present for her two little boys. “When I look at my children I want to be better, and I want to be a role model for them,” she says, so Ebony makes a much needed self-investment in an effort to give them what they deserve. For example, every week she dedicates a few hours to working out at the gym, using this time to also pray, clear her mind, and release stress, “as there is very little quiet time in my life between work, my three-year old, and my six-month old,” she expresses. Embracing her workout hours as time to rejuvenate and refresh not only keeps her healthy, but balanced and centered during the week.

This beautiful Phoenix also carves out a moment every morning to read a daily affirmation. It’s as simple as a phone app download, and (voila!) she gets the day started in a positive direction. As a loving reminder, she makes sure to re-read the affirmation throughout the day, as being a very dedicated social worker can often be stressful. The words of encouragement are the positive push she needs to move forward with an optimistic spirit.

Ebony has made a very strong commitment to honoring her spiritual and physical well being, so she understands that self-love also means being surrounded with love and support from others. “I have become very selective of the people I allow in my inner circle, and those that aren’t in my best interest, I let go of.”

Ebony is most certainly a Phoenix rising – taking care of her mind, body, and spirit, practicing daily affirmations, committing herself to helping others, and showering her children with love. If that’s not enough, she’s investing in her career by starting graduate school this fall. Now, that’s the way to live a purpose-filled, self-loving life!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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The Water and the Sky Hold Hands: A Mother’s Fresh Perspective

Amaya

Amaya (“Mini Me”), Panama City Beach, Florida
Photo by Angela Eddings

As I approach the third year of motherhood I can’t help but celebrate the small victories every day. I realize now that no woman’s advice in the world could have prepared me for what I’ve experienced in sharing a life with my “Mini Me.”  The challenges that have come with raising a baby girl alone have been very much like a rebirth. She teaches me something daily.  At first I was somewhat fearful, full of worry. Every moment of every day I felt like there was something to worry about.  It went from small things like, “Is my home clean enough? How do I know if she’s getting enough breast milk?” To thinking about larger issues like, “How can I afford quality daycare?  And how do I get her father more involved?”  There was always something in my head preventing me from simply enjoying being her mommy, but then something else happened in addition to the worry, she turned two.

As she approached the “terrific twos” her personality changed what seemed like overnight.  Her newfound sense of independence put me in a place where I had to be ready for her to say or do anything at any moment. Sometimes a two-year old really can make you forget that you are actually the adult and the one in charge! From deciding when and what she will eat, to when and where she will go potty, to tantrums in the middle of Target, to sleeping when she can’t take it anymore rather than when I put her down to sleep – all in all I am tired.

I remember sharing with a friend the wonderful news that I was pregnant.  After the hugs, tears, and excitement, she looked me directly in the eye and said, “Girl, I’m going to be real with you. Sleep as much as you can now, because you will never sleep again.” As I sat rocking her at 4:33am the other night I thought of my friend and couldn’t do anything else but cry.

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However, I had an “ah-ha” moment watching her walk along the beach for the first time a few weeks ago.  Her face was indescribable.  As she got closer and closer to the ocean and looked down in front of her, she realized the sand she’d been calling a sandbox went on for what seemed like forever. It was in that moment that I realized I had not been living in the moment as her mother.  Rather than being worried about everything, I had to let go of my thoughts and enjoy what was real.  When I thought it couldn’t get any better I heard my baby excitedly say (with “binky” in mouth) pointing at the water, “Wook mommy water and the sky hold hands.” That was it! Those words put everything in perspective for me.  Suddenly, I felt alive and rejuvenated.  Now I know that having her is a way for me to live again with a fresh, new perspective about this sometimes crazy and worrisome world.  My baby has taught me, rather than live in my head, to live in the moment – and be thankful for it.

angelaAngela Eddings is a monthly contributing writer for the PRC on topics that celebrate empowerment, growth, and change through motherhood. She is a single mother of a beautiful two-year-old daughter, Amaya.  As a high school graduation coach, Angela’s passion for encouraging youth is a testament to her personal evolution as a believer in a holistic way of living.  She exemplifies embracing and nurturing one’s mind, body and spirit through her love of writing and belief in affirmations. Daily personal experiences are no longer seen as challenges but opportunities for growth.  This perspective has shaped her role as a mother, teacher, and friend and she looks forward to sharing the beauty in adopting that view with you.

 


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Make a Declaration, Not a Resolution! Be Self-Love in Action.

HEY, PHOENIX! What’s on your agenda for New Year’s Eve? Whatever you’re planning our hope is that it involves some reflection on 2012. The word, Sankofa, in the Akan language, means to ‘go back and fetch it.’ In other words, know your past, to understand your future. Have you examined your personal past? Are you conscious of your actions and decisions? Your habits (great, good, bad, ugly)? What are you manifesting?
185562447117757956_5pYNiRSK_cLet’s be clear, DON’T dwell; that isn’t healthy (and for goodness sake, forgive yourself for mistakes). However, DO gain some understanding as to why you do what you do. Right? Go back and fetch it! In order to break old patterns and for positive change to occur, self-reflection is necessary. So, instead of making another ‘tired’ resolution (yes, we said it!), have the courage to make a promise, a real declaration for some part of your life. What do you really want? Are you willing to do the work to bring it to fruition?

Reflect. Visualize. Declare. Act.

Go ahead, I love myself; therefore, I promise to___________________. I declare that I will_____________________.

And so it is!

Happy 2013, Phoenix! Be self-love in action.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. Today’s Phoenix is Natasha.

natasha_lyfNatasha’s self-love declaration is lovely, inspirational, and to-the-point. And we, of course, appreciate this awesome poet for taking time to share how she loves who she is without apology!

“I love and honor myself by enjoying my nude body. Each day I take out time to enjoy loving on myself. It sounds simple but I try to never rush the body preparation part of my day. It is the highest form of gratitude,” Natasha says. She is also learning more and more each week about healthy food choices and enjoys preparing healthy meals. “I love to hear my friends say, wow this is healthy, but it tastes so good!”

Natasha loves spending quality time with her sister-friends too, because as she puts it, “it is time that I cannot match anywhere else.” She relishes in being with her sisters as it is in these moments that she reconnects with them, and “I reconnect to my strength,” she says.

Natasha is a true Phoenix, and we appreciate her self-love affirmations and gratitude. To learn more about this beautiful poet, writer, and spoken word artist who says, “I’m so honest, sometimes I hurt myself, heal myself, reveal myself and the same for someone else,” visit her site: Natasharia

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. Today’s Phoenix is Danielle.

danielle_lyfThis collage represents Danielle expressing self-love by choosing to engage in activities she enjoys!

After more than 25 years of hair frustration, Danielle says, “I have finally come to a point where I accept myself ‘as is’ – hair (or no hair, in this case!) and all.” In 2010, Danielle made the choice to cut off all her hair. About the decision she says, “I cut my hair off before, but this was the first time I did it because I wanted to, not due to circumstances. It was such a liberating experience!” To further promote love of self, she spends some of her time modeling, proving that beauty is limitless.

Another way Danielle demonstrates self-love in action is by celebrating her life experiences and sharing them with others. Having been involved in several bad relationships including a divorce that left her a single mother, she wanted other women to avoid the mistakes she made. Danielle chose to share her dating experiences through her book, Warning Signs: What every woman should know – A dating guide. This inspiring author says that she has learned more about herself in the process and hopes others will benefit from the stories she shares.

Danielle also likes exercising and devotes time to staying fit and feeling well by working out five days a week, using the weekends to recharge. She maintains a healthy, protein-packed diet and drinks plenty of water so she has lots of energy throughout her busy days.

Thank you for sharing your self-love story with us, Danielle. Keep rising, Phoenix! If you’d like more info on her book visit: (www.facebook.com/warningsignsbook)

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Today’s Phoenix is Dolores.

dolores_lyfDolores’ inspirational story is one of self-discovery and healing, a lesson in courage and the power of believing in what you want for your life – and knowing that with patience in (and with) the process you can have it.

Dolores decided to divorce her husband the winter of 2009; she knew in the beginning of their relationship that their values and goals for life were different. She is a very spiritual person. He is not. She wanted a family. He did not. But she wanted it to work. “When we first met and married we were in love and had the best intentions to be good for each other,” she says. Unfortunately, those intentions weren’t enough to keep them together, so with a lot of soul-searching – knowing this step would be the healthiest for both of them – Dolores made the very hard decision to let go after five years of marriage.

“My divorce has been the most painful experience of my life. Being by myself was not easy. Nonetheless, it only took a couple of years for my life to become much better than I ever expected. I made it by praying,” she exclaims. Having to redefine herself after years of ‘building as a couple’ was tough, but with spiritual guidance she realized the importance of self-love. So that’s where she started! She went on a journey of self-discovery by practicing yoga and meditation and attending silent retreats to get more in tune with her life. The more she honored herself, the more she blossomed. Dolores took risks and began doing things she always wanted (solo)! She explored her growing interests: got a bike (and went on long rides), joined cooking and Latino clubs, went zip lining, volunteered at her local library helping students with math, continued her spiritual development, strengthened her friendships with her girlfriends, and even joined Match.com (Yeah, you heard us the first time!). She was open to new and different experiences and didn’t judge them as they presented themselves.

It’s been two years since her divorce, and many positive things have happened because of Dolores’s courage to let go – a new promotion, a new home, a new perspective, and even a new love, but the best of all these things is the newfound love she has for herself.

Thank you for sharing your LYF story with us, Dolores. You’re definitely a Phoenix rising!

Happy Friday.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.