The Phoenix Rising Collective

Inspiring Women to be Self-Love in Action


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Today’s Phoenix is Nava

This beautiful Phoenix is Nava (lovely name, too, right?). She shares her self-love story with us by compassionately giving some thoughtful daily self-care regimens and words of wisdom that can build a stronger sense of spirituality, balance, and of course, love for your life.

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 Nava_LYFF[collage]_2Just like a flower needs water to grow, it’s important to learn about the things we need to nurture ourselves in every way. This means loving myself for all the good that I see, and accepting my flaws and the fact that I am IMperfect. This doesn’t mean that I don’t learn, change, and grow; it means that I am gentle and kind to myself in spite of it all. It also means being able to look in the mirror and fall in love with the Divine reflection of me.

 For most people, self-love can feel unnatural, but caring for myself requires consistent routines; for example:

  1. Staying spiritually centered
  2. Eliminating self-criticism
  3. Being kind and positive
  4. Acknowledging my efforts
  5. Expressing gratitude
  6. Having compassion – even with those that don’t deserve it
  7. Letting go of worry
  8. Trusting and forgiving myself even when I’ve messed up
  9. Being completely and nakedly honest with myself, and accepting all that is and comes with who I am

 

Love by any definition of the word (kindness, affection, respect, sensitive attunement, and shared companionship) is not only hard to come by; it is even more difficult to accept. Fortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of having wonderful and loving friendships and relationships, but over the years I’ve also invested time in black-hole relationships – relationships where the energy I gave was not returned, and I ended up highly disappointed and hurt. Because I put so much time and energy into loving deeply without reciprocation, I went through emotional pain and bouts of feeling rejected. More so, when someone was loving towards me, I’d experience conflict between their perception of me and my core identity.

I reacted with suspicion and distrust because my fear of intimacy was provoked. Luckily, I quickly snapped out of these challenges earlier in life and began to accept and love myself; this led to the ebb and flow of some wonderful and meaningful relationships. Now when I recognize that a relationship I have isn’t serving me well – whether it’s personal, platonic, or professional – I release it and let go.

I’ve learned that it’s necessary to take inventory of my relationships and the things that affect self-love. We are a nation obsessed with how we physically look (we diet, go on nutritional binges, and detox in an effort to look and feel good on the outside), but if what is going on emotionally does not match our spiritual desire, we can never attain the level of self-love we deserve.  Our equilibrium is off when a split between our divinity and humanity has taken place, but if we can learn to trust and hear the inner voice of love – we’ll experience deeper and stronger self-love that will lead us beyond the boundaries of our short life, to where God is all in all.

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Below Nava shares why she chose the photos for her self-love collage:

SUNSET – I am blessed and humbled to be able to have an amazing view of the sunset from my apartment deck. When I moved into the space it was a direct manifestation of what I’ve always wanted – a constant reminder to me that the simple pleasures in life are not as far away from us as we’d like to think.

MEDITATION – Every morning I go to a lake right by my job to meditate. It’s so peaceful and quiet, so this is where I begin my morning, and talk to myself with kindness and the certainty of my own soul.

WORKING THE HILL – Self-care is a part of loving who I am, so in addition to exercising my mind and soul, I include physical exercise. After coming to California from the East Coast I’ve been more active, enjoying Mother Nature and what it offers.

GREAT LOVE – My partner (pictured on the left) is my best friend and confidante. We’ve been together 14 years, and she’s one of few people that truly gets me.  Our relationship wouldn’t work if it weren’t for the fact that love is the true expression of our own heart’s energy. There is intensity in how we love ourselves first but each other unconditionally.

KINGDOM – Finally, I love the quote by Ajame, “Let no one enter your inner kingdom unless they come with love” because I’m a firm believer that the most life changing growth anyone can experience is learning to completely love, to let go of conditions, and to believe in themselves.

 

Happy Friday, Phoenixes! Love yourself fiercely.

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.  Be sure to read some of our other inspiring stories.


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Looking Good, Naturally!

lookinggood_naturally[poster]2

Are you Team Look Good, Feel Good, Naturally? Of course you are! So, you know a large part of cleaner living is moving toward using natural products for your hair, skin, and nails. And you also know that incorporating natural products into your daily routine can make your hair, skin, and nails feel as good as your body does with cleaner eating habits!

What is Clean Living? Well, we define it as making a commitment to informed decisions about the products we use and the foods we eat. The goal is to incorporate simple, sustainable, and healthful practices into your daily routines that are natural, nutritionally safe, and toxin-free for the body and home to cultivate clean living inside and out.

The products and regimens we’re providing are inexpensive, healthy alternatives – some can even be found in your kitchen!

HAIR

3 products SimoneOne of the most awesome things about having natural hair is versatility, and one of the most difficult parts about having natural hair is finding reliable products that work well with your hair type. For this we often turn to essential oils and conditioners made for sustaining healthy, natural hair.

Simone returned to natural twelve years ago, and started locking her hair in 2007. She usually wears her hair down or in protective hair styles, such as buns and pigtails (she is really obsessed with pigtails right now!), and she loves using coconut oil because it promotes hair growth by penetrating and moisturizing the scalp. When it comes to washing, it is an all day affair! She starts by using a combination of apple cider vinegar, lemon juice, baking soda, sea salt, and warm water to cleanse her scalp (and to promote shine). Then, she uses a few of her favorite Shea Moisture products to condition and shampoo her hair.

Aisha is three years into being natural and loves it. Depending on the day, the weather, or her school schedule, you can catch her with wash-n-go curly tresses, a protective style, or an occasional press-out. With that in mind, most of her favorite products are oils! Jojoba, argan, coconut, and peppermint – just to name a few. All of these oils work to maintain the moisture that hair needs. For wash-n-go hair (by co-washing), a leave in conditioner is essential, followed by oils to seal in the moisture. For a protective style, a good spray of oils fights hair breakage, allowing the style to actually protect the hair, not hurt it. If you are pressing your hair – which should be done sparingly, as too much heat can be damaging – oil can be used to seal the ends of your hair and maintain a healthy scalp. Remember, moisturized hair is healthy, happy hair!

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 SKIN CARE

photo (6)Some of Aisha’s favorite natural skin care products come from Lush, a cosmetics company that prides itself on the creation of fresh handmade products. She enjoys indulging in various handmade soaps (especially one made out of honey), soaking in oatmeal baths, and rubbing her body down with handmade lotion. Although buying handmade cosmetics comes at a price, we have to pick and choose how we’re going to treat ourselves, and this is where Aisha indulges. Plus, none of the products she buys are tested on animals!

Oh, and have you ever heard of the Oil Cleansing Method? It is amazing! Simone loves using coconut oil, avocado oil, and/or olive oil to clean her face. She follows this routine everyday, especially after workouts to keep her face firm and clear of breakouts. These oils are also great for the entire body, so get obsessed!

Feminine Hygiene – Yes, down there! We use natural products EVERYWHERE.

Simone uses natural vaginal cleansers that are gentle and moisturizing – a lot of vaginal washes come in lavender, rose, and other scents. In fact, there are also many natural foods that promote womb wellness and give you a fresher, cleaner feeling. Natural health practitioner and author, Queen Afua gives some examples in her book, Heal Thyself for Health and Longevity, of live foods that can be eaten for healthy feminine hygiene and wellness: mango, papaya, coconut water, ginger, sorrel, honeydew, celery, parsnip, cucumber, and greens such as kale, spinach, and chard. And here’s a recipe for a natural cleansing bath:

  • 1tbsp. cinnamon
  • 3tbsp. rosewater/3tsps. rose oil
  • Natural foaming liquid
  • Handful of patchouli
  • 1-2 lbs. Dead Sea Salt (for deep relaxation)
  • Soak 20 – 30 minutes

And who loves a nice Brazilian wax? We do! Hey Fran Hey has an awesome recipe for a raw and organic hair remover that we cannot wait to try! You can also use this sugar wax on other parts of your body.

NAILS

Natural care for nails? Oh, but of course. Simone recently said goodbye to acrylic nails and hello to coconut oil to promote nail growth. Acrylic nails may look good, but they are very damaging and can often leave your nail bed weak and unattractive after removing them. For Simone, coconut oil has been the best solution for nail health and growth. The nutrients in the oil help to strengthen your cuticles and the nail bed, too. Massage coconut oil into your hands and nails two to three times a week, and before you know it, you will have long, strong claws! Okay, maybe you don’t want claws, but the strength is to die for.

We realize that all of this may be super overwhelming, so we’ve compiled a list of our favorite resources and products that we hope you’ll incorporate in your daily routine. Most of the products we use are raw and organic for an extra clean look and feel!

  • Jojoba Oil
  • Coconut Oil
  • Argan Oil
  • Peppermint Oil
  • Avocado oil
  • Olive oil
  • Shea Moisture Products
  • Kinky Curly Knot-Today Leave-In
  • Witch Hazel (for cuts)
  • Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine
  • Encyclopedia of Healing Foods

Remember that becoming au naturel is a process. Your health and sanity are important, so be patient with yourself when it comes to learning about clean products. Looking and feeling good from the inside out and the outside in are a commitment, so take the time to get your research on. Invest in yourself. Go ‘head—get to know the skin you’re in!

Tip: Before buying ALL of these products, pair up with a friend so you can find what works best for you without wasting money.

Happy cleaning!

Simonepic2Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably.

 

AISHA_BLOG[PHOTO]Aisha Upton is a first year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests: Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance.

 

Be sure to continue following Aisha + Simone’s unique take on Life + Style and the importance of letting who you are shine through when it comes to self-care, and defining your personal style.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday – Today’s Phoenix is Teneele.

teneele_blog_graphic“I love myself first by doing what makes me happy,” Teneele says. Making time to do things that bring her joy and meaning helps this aspiring yoga instructor identify what makes her unique. She journals, writes poetry, and reads books about history, culture, and health – and if that’s not enough for enjoyment, Teneele also listens to diverse genres of music. “When I’m in my zone, I get lost in the beats, rhythms, and lyrics. Music really is a universal language, and it allows me to feel connected to everyone and everything.”

Teneele is also a no-fuss kind of girl, so she keeps her natural hair regimen very organic. Whether she’s rocking a ‘fro or twists (like you see in the photo), she loves that her hair is healthy, soft, and versatile. This natural beauty also wants to be healthy from the inside out, so in January she became a pescetarian, and the process has positively pushed her to learn more about her body and what it needs to operate at its fullest capacity. She loves trying new recipes and foods, and even makes herbal infusions and medicines!

She has also made yoga an integral part of her life, and it has helped her achieve clarity, peace, strength, and balance. “It’s cool to see how much I’ve grown with my yoga practice, and I’ve been inspired to become a yoga instructor. I want to provide health and wellness services to underserved youth, and show them the importance of eating well, being self-sufficient, breathing, centering themselves, eliminating stress, and having focus,” she says.

To rejuvenate, Teneele begins each day with prayer and realizes that it definitely makes a difference in her day. Without prayer she says, “I feel disconnected, and it’s easier for the stresses and worries of the day to get the best of me. When I seek the Creator, my mind and heart are at ease. I know that I’m loved, and my needs and wants are being met far beyond my expectations.”

She is a Phoenix rising, and we appreciate her sharing how she’s self-love in action.  Want more? Well, you can peruse, Teneele’s beautiful line of jewelry on Etsy!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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Making Positive Change Happen in Your Life: Awesome Tips and Creative Ways to Achieve Your Personal Goals

simone_aisha[quote]New Year’s resolutions, almost everyone has made one. But the beginning of the year doesn’t have to be the only time to make changes or set goals. It’s important to think outside of the New Year’s box about resolution making. We all have various strategies for making changes. See a change that needs to take place in your life? Hop on it, no matter what month it is.

Working toward achieving a goal should be a daily practice. We’ve all felt overwhelmed when it comes to completing tasks and achieving goals. Breaking down your goals into daily pieces can also help prevent becoming overwhelmed by them and can give you the space to ease into lifestyle changes.

 A to-do list can be a useful tool for achieving daily goals:

  1. Write down what you need to accomplish and do not remove it from the list until it is done!
  2. Hold yourself accountable for every item and reward yourself for completing it.
  3. If for some reason a to-do item cannot be accomplished, make it the very first item for the following day.
  4. Write a message at the top of your list that will encourage your completion of each task.

 

Our favorite encouragement quotes?

quotes[blog]

These messages serve as constant reminders that you do, in fact, ‘got this’ and that your power comes from the work you do. So, get out your notepad and werk!

Making a to-do list isn’t the only way to set and achieve your goals. When we have goals that cannot be accomplished in one day, we look to other tools for growth and development, such as a vision board.

A vision board is a great way to visualize your purpose and long term goals:

  1. Break out your favorite magazines.
  2. Cut and paste pictures that reflect your journey onto a large poster board.
  3. Hang up your vision board in a place that you visit every day so that you constantly see your plan for development.
  4. Track your progress.

 

There are tons of ways to visualize your goals and life path. We recognize that creating to-do lists and vision boards, can also be overwhelming. Where do you start? And what happens when you can’t get anything done? How do you lose the stress and get back on track? Answer: We can’t tell you, because you know YOU best. As PhD students, researchers, and instructors, we are constantly on the go. We forget to eat, sleep (which is totally optional in graduate school), and sometimes we forget our to-do lists at home. And then there are moments where we get sidetracked taking self-portraits and posting them (and photos of Ice-T and Napoleon – our cat and dog) to Instagram. These things can make achieving our goals overwhelming, so constantly checking in with ourselves is what gives us room to breathe and get back on track.

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Simone’s Personal Altar and Vision Board
Photo Credit: Simone Savannah

Make time to check in with yourself and affirm your spirit. Create a time for reflection. Before (or after) you break out your favorite M.A.C lipstick and lip liner, really take time to reflect on who you are as well as your desires and needs. This “me time” may help you realize the changes you need to make and how you may choose to go about making them. Additionally, create a space for reflection. Try decorating a table with your favorite pictures (of yourself and loved ones), affirmations, and letters. Visit this space every day. It could serve as a starting point for your day, and a reminder that you are powerful and loved by the most important people in this world.

We believe that setting goals and affirming one’s spirit are necessary for growth and development. As we approached the New Year, our own self-reflections and our friends constantly reminded us that changes needed to be made. We knew that last year’s goals needed revising and that a new year meant we had to throw out old lipsticks and invite something new into our lives. So, today, as you work on completing tasks and taking care of you, we also encourage you to ask yourself, “Turn down for what?” Perhaps who we mean to quote is Maya Angelou when she says, “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.”

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About the Contributing Writers:

simone_writer[shine]Simone Savannah is an English instructor and contributing writer for the Project on the History of Black Writing at the University of Kansas. She is currently pursuing a PhD in English-Creative Writing and Women, Gender, & Sexuality Studies. Her poetry is based on personal experiences she can’t let go—imagined or otherwise. Simone also enjoys making green smoothies, attending Bikram Yoga classes, and laughing uncontrollably. 

 

aisha_writer[shine]Aisha Upton is a first year PhD student at the University of Pittsburgh, studying Sociology and Women’s Studies. Her research interests: Black women in service organizations and violence against Black women. She is passionate about many things including community service, lipstick, baking, thrifting, knitting, and being a proud owner of a Cockapoo, Napoleon. At the intersection of being a diligent student, a fashionista, and an activist – you will find Aisha, attempting to find a balance.  


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. Today’s Phoenix is Corrine.

corrine[lyf]This photo of Corrine represents her transition back to natural hair. She paced herself through the process and took a year to learn how to take care of her natural tresses (including what products work best for her hair type and the benefits for her overall health). Corrine says, “Today I’m rocking a ‘fro, which is something I didn’t feel comfortable with a few years ago. I’ve grown to love me, which started with loving my hair! Going through this journey helped me realize I can accomplish even more.”

How inspiring is she? We definitely love how this Phoenix loves herself first. What courage! Thanks for sharing your story, Corrine. Keep shining!

Happy Friday. Love who you are fiercely!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.


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It’s Love Yourself First! Friday. This Phoenix is Simone.

simone_lyfThese are some of the ways this beautiful doctoral student, Simone, loves herself first: writing poetry, showing gratitude for her resilience/talents/opportunities, and laughing. (We love that!) She also says, “Eating well/clean – I try my very best to eat well. I have one green smoothie a day, and eat mostly fruits and vegetables throughout the day. I also drink lots of water. Eating clean gives me the energy to do the things I want and need to do throughout the day.”

Simone also takes time in the morning for balance and spiritual practice by lighting white candles, burning frankincense, and praying. “I thank the Creator for another day to become more beautiful. Before I leave my apartment, I pick from my bowl of angel cards and ask that the card be present in my life. My spirituality is very important to me,” she says.

Her daily routine is very important as it encourages her to accomplish the mission she has set for the day (and the days following),  including being confident and showing love to herself and others.

This radiant Phoenix is an inspiration; her diligence to self-care is empowering, and we appreciate her courage and willingness to share!

Love Yourself First! Friday is a weekly self-love series created by the Phoenix Rising Collective. Beautiful, diverse women of color tell their stories of triumph, share their personal affirmations, and declare their love for their own lives! The series is meant to inspire and empower women to fiercely demonstrate self-love in action in order to build and sustain healthy, positive self-esteem.

Thanks for sharing, Simone. You are definitely a Phoenix rising! Happy Friday.